I Think I'm Fallin Into Meth

[DoseLuck]

I'm just here to share my story of where I'm currently at in life an I guess looking for people that can relate to it.

So I will start by saying I was a daily adderall users for 3 months. I have stopped that but only because I've replaced it.

The first time I tried meth was in July an I just snorted a line that was about .15 and had a great time but said it was just a one time thing. Two weeks after the first time I tried it I did it again completely ignoring what I told myself about only doing it one. Again I just snorted it but this time there was at least .5 an I did it all with in a few hours with only one other person. After this though I lost my connect an stopped until August. In august I was at school an some had .1 an I bought it an again snorted it. I always snorted because of how addicting I heard smoking it was.

Well this is where it starts. I finally found the plug for high quality crystal available as I please for cheap or trade with stuff like watches ect. Well on Sunday (6 days ago) I got a total of .6, .3 was mine an the other .3 was a friends but I held onto my friend so he wouldn't do any before the PO check in he had the next day. So I started by snorting it again but by the second day my sinus an throat were to sore to handle anymore so I decided to say fuck it I only have alil left anyways an smoked it.

Well I finished mine an at the end of day two (Monday) I said well my friend won't notice if I take a tiny bowl out of his so I did an smoked that. I later fell asleep around two or three an woke up at six for school. I was pretty tired an I had finals that day so I decided I needed to smoke just alil more of my friends before class to get through my finals for that day. I did exactly that but once I got out of class all I wanted to do was smoke just alil bit more. I fought an fought the temptation but finally giving in an smoking the rest of my friends .3 by the end of the day. I made up a lie a said the baggy ripped an spilt everywhere.
On day three (Tuesday) I just fell through. Since then I've been stealing an lying an asking everyone I know if they know where to get more dope (with the help of a few friends doing all this with me) an until last night when I finally ran out of meth an had no gas to get more I had constantly been hitting the pipe or trying to get more. Even when I woke up this morning I put water in my pipe to wash all the recrystalized meth to the bowl an smoking that then licking all my empty baggies.

During all this I've only been talking to people that are doin the drug or can get the drug. Anyone else I just forgot about. All of this is happening but it doesn't feel real. I feel like a stereotypical story of how a meth addiction starts.

But I must note that with this meth (I dunno if it's cuz it's so clean or what) but I have been sleeping an eating on it an I shower an take care of myself an everything.

 

[Seattle_Stranger]

You think, therefore you are.

During all this I've only been talking to people that are doin the drug or can get the drug. Anyone else I just forgot about. All of this is happening but it doesn't feel real. I feel like a stereotypical story of how a meth addiction starts.

You are!

Since then I've been stealing an lying an asking everyone I know if they know where to get more dope (with the help of a few friends doing all this with me) an until last night when I finally ran out of meth an had no gas to get more I had constantly been hitting the pipe or trying to get more. Even when I woke up this morning I put water in my pipe to wash all the recrystalized meth to the bowl an smoking that then licking all my empty baggies.

How is it a question at this point? Put down the pipe, my friend.

 

[DoseLuck]

I have no choice but to as of right now. But when I try to give myself reasons to completely put it down an not go back I can't find anything to make me. If that makes sense. Yes I have my life to put it down for but I dunno. I don't have anything IN that life to put it down for

 

[adrenalinerushes]

please don't fall into the habit. go find a doctor and get an adderall script of your own.

you are lucky to have some self awareness right now and to seek help here on BL. a lot of users may not get that same luck.

you know you need to stop. now will be much, much easier than later.

consider it a learning experience and get out while you can. and i know you can.

use the experience you've gained to help others in this situation.

good luck, be safe.

 

[DoseLuck]

I can't get Addie's I've tried. I would've just stuck to doin Addie's instead of meth but now the meth is so much more available for a much better longer an cheaper high. An I get hellish comedowns from Addie's an don't sleep or eat after them with meth if I am smoking it I can eat and sleep an have no comedown except getting tired an falling asleep but that's not anything

 

[broncos_rgp]

Yes it is bro. Stop now. IF YOU CAN!!!

 

[DoseLuck]

I enjoy the support I get from bluelight. I don't get anything but criticism anywhere else including other forums thanks

 

[black kat]

Cmon man,just take a break,nobody says put the pipe down for good,but as with every drug,tolerance increases and soon you wont be able to enjoy it anymore.

This is especially true w meth,your body needs time to heal and be able to embrace the (positive) effects of the drugs once more.

Everyday obssesional use leads to addiction and damage whereas recreational use leads to..well,recreation(until it spirals out of control eventually but it doesnt have to be this way for you)!

Give urself some time to regroup and reassess the situation,the drugs will always be there but your health wont(and you need it to be able to enjoy drugs!).

 

[DoseLuck]

I was planning on stopping till after Christmas at least. Cuz yes like you said you need breaks in between use but sometimes an binge just keeps goin without you realizing it you know?

 

[MikeRWK]

Dude, you're a shitty friend for smoking your friends meth and lying to him about it.From the sounds of it you're turning into the worst kind of addict, soon no one will be able to trust you or turn their back on you without worrying about you stealing shit.You should deffinitely stop, try to get some adderall or dexidrine and taper before your life becomes a living hell.

 

[Erikmen]

please don't fall into the habit. go find a doctor and get an adderall script of your own.

you are lucky to have some self awareness right now and to seek help here on BL. a lot of users may not get that same luck.

you know you need to stop. now will be much, much easier than later.

consider it a learning experience and get out while you can. and i know you can.

use the experience you've gained to help others in this situation.

good luck, be safe.

Adderall is a great alternative to meth. Much more secure and it seems to be quite enjoyable..

 

[adrenalinerushes]

why aren't you able to get adderall? it's not too hard.

maybe you had a shitty doc. about the comedowns, they are NOT worse than a meth come down. they're not as damaging or as dirty as meth. you get the right dose of stimulants, maybe even vyvanse or dex, and you won't feel the need to use.

you can make up as many reasons as you want to for not doing anything besides meth and saying meth is better for this or that reason. that's what part of you could very likely give in to becoming a tweaker.

no one wants to hang out or associate with tweakers... you're just gonna go to jail from stealing people's stuff.

im sorry to sound harsh, but certain situations bring it out of me. don't say you'll stop after xmas, that's so typical of a junkie. you know you're not gonna really stop after xmas. stop now. just do it. you won't die.?
tough it out, be sad and moody for a while. stop with the lying, excuses, and illogical reasoning and stealing.

if you've only been using for a short while and meth has already taken this much of your mind, dude, imagine yourself in a year. please chill for now on the stuff. don't let it do this. you seem better than that and you do seem like a smart guy.

 

[DoseLuck]

No I didn't say I was gonna stop after Christmas I said I was gonna stop NOW till after Christmas.... So I have money.... None the less still not good.

I can't get adderall cuz yeah a shitty doc that won't prescribe it. I was getting vyvanse but no longer can. I lost my adderall connect cuz he quit doin drugs an got out of the scene.

An you don't sound harsh I appreciate the honesty

 

[DoseLuck]

Just updating where I am with meth.. So I said i was gonna stop doin it but since the day after I made this post I've only been using more an I usually don't sleep an if I do it's minimal. I try to but I usually look track of time then by then time I realize the time it's to late to bother. Figured I'd just give you guys an update. Thanks

 

[crzydiamond]

Just a thought... You said there's nothing IN your life (not on meth) that gives you reason to stop

Take a look at the opposite side of the coin: what is there in a life dedicated to chasing a meth high that makes it worth doing?
When you really think about it, it's quite a boring cycle. Get high, maybe enjoy it for awhile, look for more, get high look for more, get high do obsessive things like window watching and carpet surfing, lie steal or hustle for more...

It's an endless cycle. Gets boring after a while. Same with any addiction. Gets to the point you are simply existing. You have to find what will give your life meaning. I doubt you'll find it in meth

If you can't keep it to a once in a while recreational thing, then better to walk away before you do indeed become the poster child for meth addiction

 

[Psych303]

While you have the chance, please stop using if you can. Meth use takes such a toll on your body and mind and I have personally witnessed friends completely loose all form of identity and personality after use with this drug.

Seek help if you can, bupropion ( wellbutrin) is actually approved to treat methamphetamine dependance! Interesting huh...

 

[kiabbr]

Yes, sleeping, eating, showering, and all that, but the question is are you still getting a good buzz? Are you happy? The meth can and will most definitely wait for you, trust me, it's not going anywhere. I've been smoking meth for about 6 years give or take a few months, and I come from a country where meth is everywhere, so common and so cheap. Heard of Myanmar(used to be Burma)? I started smoking at the age of 13 and I've been in your shoes, I didn't care about anything other than my next score. I smoked almost everyday and did things that I'm not proud of, it turned me into this person that everyone kept their distance from either from disgust or fear. I was just 15. Well, let's just say i had to learn the hard way and i didn't know i could get help and support. I had to completely stop and rest till my body and mind was both fully recovered and for me, i missed out on my high school years. Do u want to miss out on life and look back in regret? No..put the pipe down, get a grip, take a nice warm shower and relax..store all ur stuff somewhere u won't see it and start your road to recovery. Then when ur ready, go for it..I still smoke to this day but, occasionally. Never take more after coming down, I go to sleep and get on with life. Good luck, i sincerely hopes this helps u.

 

[DoseLuck]

I'm 5 days sober today.. Had dreams about using an craved a lot but I've controlled it. I started getting where I wouldn't sleep an shit an I'd stay up a few days. So I cut I down. I will say I plan on using tomorrow but don't plan on it being everyday again. That shit took over too quick. I wound up taking a break cuz I admitted everything to my girlfriend an had a huge break down in front of her an realized how fucked up everything was getting. Thank you all for the support I greatly appreciated it.

 

[MikeRWK]

I'm 5 days sober today.. Had dreams about using an craved a lot but I've controlled it. I started getting where I wouldn't sleep an shit an I'd stay up a few days. So I cut I down. I will say I plan on using tomorrow but don't plan on it being everyday again. That shit took over too quick. I wound up taking a break cuz I admitted everything to my girlfriend an had a huge break down in front of her an realized how fucked up everything was getting. Thank you all for the support I greatly appreciated it.

Don't do it again if you dont want to fall back into it, get your hands on some dexidrine (d-amp) and taper before you find yourself in a world of sorrow.

 

[DoseLuck]

Welp.. Here's an update on my use... I forgot about this post till today. I got arrested about a month and a half ago for possession of methamphetamine and distribution of methamphetamine. So yeah I wound up selling it to support the stupid ass habit. After I got arrested I was sober for a month then relapsed onto the needle.. So dumb I dunno why I thought is do that.. My parents found out an so I got kicked out an lost the love of my life that I had been with for two years over that. Really made me realize what I was doing to myself an what I had come to. Losing that girl that meant so much to me was enough to make me get my shit straight tiredly this time. I managed to get back living at home an have cut off contact with anyone that even just smoked weed so I have no chance of relapse. I wish I could've seen the signs sooner befor I lost her.. But it is what it is now an all I can do from here is make the best out of what I have an make the rest of my life for the better. Dunno if any of you really care but it feels better to let people hear my story an just hope maybe it will save someone else. Meth is no joke guys... It's not. Oh an I'd also like to say.. All the people I started doing it with are currently in jail or have just disappeared.