insanechicken
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2014
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MDMA 300mg - Second Time - An Attempt At Sexual Trauma Healing
**Disclaimer** This report contains explicit sexual language and situations.
The first time my friends and I did molly, it ended up being bunk shit that didn't really do anything to us. Either that or we didn't take enough, idk. However the second time (the real first time we got good shit and actually experienced the effects) was one of the most unforgettable experiences of our lives.. We found a new hookup and picked up 1 gram of "pure" mdma powder for $60. It was to be split between me, my friend D and my friend L. D and L both have been dating for 3 years prior and still are to this day (D is the girl, L is the guy). They're both my best friends and the main people i do drugs with. D and L picked up the dro and headed to my house. My family was at the beach for the weekend so we had the house to ourselves.
D and L arrived. I had some different friends over before them, but they left soon after. We poured the gram on our scale and tried to weigh out 100 mg for each of us as the initial dose. Unfortunately, our scale wasn't a powder scale, so it wasn't very accurate. Since we polished off the whole gram that night, I estimate we each took about 300 mg, as we did re-dose later on. We put our drugs in a shot glass and chased it down with water. It tasted bitter but not that bad. Then we sat on the couch waiting for it to kick in. We are all generally in good health (except for D who has migraines and neck pain), and were in an excited and happy state of mind.
It's funny how when we first started doing drugs we got jipped pretty often. Sitting there waiting for it to kick in only for nothing to happen. Now we're always skeptical if the drugs we're receiving are in fact what they're suppose to be and if they'll work. So we're sitting there anxiously. It's been almost a half hour now, this shit should be kicking in soon. I took mine first so I was expecting to feel it before everyone else.
Stevie Wonder's "Isn't she lovely" came on the speakers. Suddenly I felt a rush of energy that i've never felt before. When the drugs kicked in they brought me straight to my feet with no warning. The brightness of the light being emulated from the lamp suddenly intensified and started to swirl across the ceiling. It was such a rush. My emotions entered the most joyful and peaceful state I have ever felt before. I starting grooving to stevie. He's perfect to listen to on molly, along with any other kind of funk/soul music. I could hear every single instrument and every single little sound in the song. My attention to detail was greatly heightened. My friends watched and were very amused by my intoxicated dancing.
Soon after, D starter feeling hers, then L his. The feeling was incredible. It almost felt like I took a bunch of speed and a few hits of acid at the same time. Half stimulation, half psychedelia. I see now why getting high on molly is called "rolling" since the intensity comes in "waves." I was also intrigued by how I could almost control the level of intensity of the drug. Like there were times when the effects were so strong it made my vision shake rapidly, but if I just sat down and breathed deeply and slowly, I could slow the drug down. On the other hand, if I got up and started dancing, the intensity increased. It felt amazing.
We wanted to test the theory that being on molly is what makes techno music fun to listen to. We all personally dislike techno and electronic music, but we'd figure we'd give it a shot. We spotify some techno, and i completely get it now. The reason why its fun to listen to that stuff is almost purely because of the constant, fast paced drum beat. I myself can also appreciate the other aspects of producing techno and EDM instrumentals, being a beginneraudio engineer. And although it is fun to listen to while rolling, I can never listen to it sober, and i'd much rather listen to something else while rolling.
Anyway we decided to go downstairs and find something fun to do. I immediately hopped on my guitar and started shredding. I'm sitting there playing the guitar and watching how fast my fingers were moving. It was crazy, I could play twice as fast as usual. Playing instruments on molly is a fucking blast. I turned to D and showed her how fast my fingers were moving, at the same time i was talking like my voice got sped up x2. She responded with something like "oh my god your fingers are moving so fast, oh my god i'm talking so fast, do you hear how fast i'm talking?" me: "yea i know were talking so fast holy shit" D: "i'm talking so fast and i'm still saying every sentence perfectly, oh my god this is crazy" me: "i know this is so crazy how fast were talking." It was an amusing conversation. D then hoped on the drums and started playing a slow blues beat. So i started doing some blues improv. I'm not that great at the guitar, but i can fuck around a little. Improving while speeding is fucking gnarly. I felt like a rock god. Some songs I played were moby dick by led zeppelin, foxy lady by jimi hendrix, heart of the sunrise by yes, and a couple others. L isn't a huge fan of loud noises so he just waited for us to be done.
After we got tired of that, L kept trying to have a talk with us. When ever we do drugs together he always tries to talk to us about the bible and other "philosophical" stuff like that. It's not really what i'm into and definitely not what me and D wanna listen to while speeding, but it can sometimes be interesting. It was funny though cuz every time L was done explaining something, me and D would talk and get off track, and L would interrupt saying "wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait i'm not finished yet" Then we would say "ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok finish what you have to say." Except we'd be speaking twice as fast as usual, and we were staring at each other completely bug eyed.
After L finally finished his talk is when things got interesting.. D started complaining about how hot she was. She was like "i'm hot as shit, fuck these clothes, i'm taking these clothes off." So she took ALL her clothes off.. L started to get upset, keep in mind D is L's girlfriend. L told D to put her clothes back on, but she just told him no. Now, D is hot as shit. Her body is sculpted like a sex goddess. Shes very stunning, I drool over her. Anyway, at first i looked away, figuring L isn't gonna want me to see his gf naked. But she approached me making dead eye contact, getting turned on the more i gazed upon her. So I stared back at her staring at me. She started to touch herself in front of us.
Now, D is normally an under the radar type of person, only having one sex partner to this day (L) but shes a huge slut only to him, and she was allowing me to experience her slutty side. Holy shit she was wild. She continued to touch herself and asked us two to watch. L kept on trying to get her to stop but eventually gave up and just let her be (thank god). D did her thing, but was still incredibly horny. She asked me if it would be cool if her and L could go fuck. I said it was cool but when D asked him, L immediately said no cuz he couldn't get hard. D was extraordinarily disappointed, and pleaded for him to at least try, but he kept saying no. D took a moment, then turned to look at me and asked "can you get hard?" I was shocked and speechless by what I just heard. Immediately L yelled out "no youre not fucking (me)!" D told him "come on he's gotta learn sometime and i can show him everything!"
Now before I continue, let me give you some history on myself and my friends. It's very personal info and is sometimes hard to talk about, but is required in order to better understand the story. My first sexual experience happened when I was about 7 years old. Obviously this was way too young for someone's first sexual encounter. I'm not gonna get into details, but as you can imagine it was very traumatic. A few years before this mdma trip, I had my first real sexual experience with a girl whom I was "friends with benefits." It didn't go well though. I started having flashbacks and "body memories" and couldn't go through with it. It was incredibly embarrassing and humiliating. We eventually omitted the "benefits" aspect of our friendship and just decided to be friends after that.
D and L both know this about me. D and I can feel a level of empathy for ourselves since we've both been through sexual trauma. D was molested when she was younger and raped twice. She's one of the strongest people I know, and both of us share a very strong connection.
Anyway, back to the molly. D wanted to teach me how to please a girl so I would be prepared when i got another chance. Like before, L was trying to avoid this situation, but he let it happen anyway. D showed me all the hand stuff and mouth stuff, but i'm not gonna get too into that. It was pretty awesome to say the least, but also very weird.. But things didn't slow down from there.
D asked me to play the guitar again cuz it turns her on. She then confessed to me how she always wanted to suck my dick while I played guitar for her and how horny it makes her. She also kept talking about how bad she wanted to fuck me. Keep in mind L was present for all her comments. I wasn't sure how to react at all when hearing this, especially in front of L. But i'm not gonna lie, I felt incredibly robbed at that moment. Especially because D and L have a good amount of issues with their relationship, and i've always kinda felt like me and D get along better than D and L.. But what do i know, it's probably just jealousy, and i'm not gonna get into that either.
D came up to me while I was playing guitar and started seducing me. This is where it gets really crazy.. She laid me down and started stroking my thing...right in front of L.. She kept making the excuse to L that "I have to heal him from his trauma or else he'll never get over it" which was actually true. So I guess that was enough for L to just let it happen. And for some reason I let it happen too.. I guess that makes me a shitty friend, but oh well. I can only imagine what was going through L's head..
D started touching me more and more, breathing heavily in my ear. She told me she wanted to suck my dick. At that moment, L said "fuck this i'm going upstairs." So he went upstairs, and D proceeded.. She sucked it for a good 45 seconds until the voice of reason in my head finally cracked. So I got up and said you should probably stop.
I told her thank you for trying to help me and gave her a big hug. She told me I was her best friend and she loved me, I told her I loved her too. We had a very special moment. It was sweet. After that we went upstairs to talk to L. We said we didn't actually follow through and we're sorry for being idiots. Surprisingly he let it go. The drugs started to wear off soon and we all got tired. We went to bed shortly after that.
The next day I felt a little tired, but not really hungover. D said she felt fine too, but L said he felt shitty the next few days.. Overall molly was a crazy experience, and one of the best drugs i've ever done. Other drugs i've consumed have been LSD, salvia, DXM, methylone, 25-c, and oxy, but mdma definitely topped all of those. I would definitely try it again. It was a crazy trip.
**Disclaimer** This report contains explicit sexual language and situations.
The first time my friends and I did molly, it ended up being bunk shit that didn't really do anything to us. Either that or we didn't take enough, idk. However the second time (the real first time we got good shit and actually experienced the effects) was one of the most unforgettable experiences of our lives.. We found a new hookup and picked up 1 gram of "pure" mdma powder for $60. It was to be split between me, my friend D and my friend L. D and L both have been dating for 3 years prior and still are to this day (D is the girl, L is the guy). They're both my best friends and the main people i do drugs with. D and L picked up the dro and headed to my house. My family was at the beach for the weekend so we had the house to ourselves.
D and L arrived. I had some different friends over before them, but they left soon after. We poured the gram on our scale and tried to weigh out 100 mg for each of us as the initial dose. Unfortunately, our scale wasn't a powder scale, so it wasn't very accurate. Since we polished off the whole gram that night, I estimate we each took about 300 mg, as we did re-dose later on. We put our drugs in a shot glass and chased it down with water. It tasted bitter but not that bad. Then we sat on the couch waiting for it to kick in. We are all generally in good health (except for D who has migraines and neck pain), and were in an excited and happy state of mind.
It's funny how when we first started doing drugs we got jipped pretty often. Sitting there waiting for it to kick in only for nothing to happen. Now we're always skeptical if the drugs we're receiving are in fact what they're suppose to be and if they'll work. So we're sitting there anxiously. It's been almost a half hour now, this shit should be kicking in soon. I took mine first so I was expecting to feel it before everyone else.
Stevie Wonder's "Isn't she lovely" came on the speakers. Suddenly I felt a rush of energy that i've never felt before. When the drugs kicked in they brought me straight to my feet with no warning. The brightness of the light being emulated from the lamp suddenly intensified and started to swirl across the ceiling. It was such a rush. My emotions entered the most joyful and peaceful state I have ever felt before. I starting grooving to stevie. He's perfect to listen to on molly, along with any other kind of funk/soul music. I could hear every single instrument and every single little sound in the song. My attention to detail was greatly heightened. My friends watched and were very amused by my intoxicated dancing.
Soon after, D starter feeling hers, then L his. The feeling was incredible. It almost felt like I took a bunch of speed and a few hits of acid at the same time. Half stimulation, half psychedelia. I see now why getting high on molly is called "rolling" since the intensity comes in "waves." I was also intrigued by how I could almost control the level of intensity of the drug. Like there were times when the effects were so strong it made my vision shake rapidly, but if I just sat down and breathed deeply and slowly, I could slow the drug down. On the other hand, if I got up and started dancing, the intensity increased. It felt amazing.
We wanted to test the theory that being on molly is what makes techno music fun to listen to. We all personally dislike techno and electronic music, but we'd figure we'd give it a shot. We spotify some techno, and i completely get it now. The reason why its fun to listen to that stuff is almost purely because of the constant, fast paced drum beat. I myself can also appreciate the other aspects of producing techno and EDM instrumentals, being a beginneraudio engineer. And although it is fun to listen to while rolling, I can never listen to it sober, and i'd much rather listen to something else while rolling.
Anyway we decided to go downstairs and find something fun to do. I immediately hopped on my guitar and started shredding. I'm sitting there playing the guitar and watching how fast my fingers were moving. It was crazy, I could play twice as fast as usual. Playing instruments on molly is a fucking blast. I turned to D and showed her how fast my fingers were moving, at the same time i was talking like my voice got sped up x2. She responded with something like "oh my god your fingers are moving so fast, oh my god i'm talking so fast, do you hear how fast i'm talking?" me: "yea i know were talking so fast holy shit" D: "i'm talking so fast and i'm still saying every sentence perfectly, oh my god this is crazy" me: "i know this is so crazy how fast were talking." It was an amusing conversation. D then hoped on the drums and started playing a slow blues beat. So i started doing some blues improv. I'm not that great at the guitar, but i can fuck around a little. Improving while speeding is fucking gnarly. I felt like a rock god. Some songs I played were moby dick by led zeppelin, foxy lady by jimi hendrix, heart of the sunrise by yes, and a couple others. L isn't a huge fan of loud noises so he just waited for us to be done.
After we got tired of that, L kept trying to have a talk with us. When ever we do drugs together he always tries to talk to us about the bible and other "philosophical" stuff like that. It's not really what i'm into and definitely not what me and D wanna listen to while speeding, but it can sometimes be interesting. It was funny though cuz every time L was done explaining something, me and D would talk and get off track, and L would interrupt saying "wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait i'm not finished yet" Then we would say "ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok finish what you have to say." Except we'd be speaking twice as fast as usual, and we were staring at each other completely bug eyed.
After L finally finished his talk is when things got interesting.. D started complaining about how hot she was. She was like "i'm hot as shit, fuck these clothes, i'm taking these clothes off." So she took ALL her clothes off.. L started to get upset, keep in mind D is L's girlfriend. L told D to put her clothes back on, but she just told him no. Now, D is hot as shit. Her body is sculpted like a sex goddess. Shes very stunning, I drool over her. Anyway, at first i looked away, figuring L isn't gonna want me to see his gf naked. But she approached me making dead eye contact, getting turned on the more i gazed upon her. So I stared back at her staring at me. She started to touch herself in front of us.
Now, D is normally an under the radar type of person, only having one sex partner to this day (L) but shes a huge slut only to him, and she was allowing me to experience her slutty side. Holy shit she was wild. She continued to touch herself and asked us two to watch. L kept on trying to get her to stop but eventually gave up and just let her be (thank god). D did her thing, but was still incredibly horny. She asked me if it would be cool if her and L could go fuck. I said it was cool but when D asked him, L immediately said no cuz he couldn't get hard. D was extraordinarily disappointed, and pleaded for him to at least try, but he kept saying no. D took a moment, then turned to look at me and asked "can you get hard?" I was shocked and speechless by what I just heard. Immediately L yelled out "no youre not fucking (me)!" D told him "come on he's gotta learn sometime and i can show him everything!"
Now before I continue, let me give you some history on myself and my friends. It's very personal info and is sometimes hard to talk about, but is required in order to better understand the story. My first sexual experience happened when I was about 7 years old. Obviously this was way too young for someone's first sexual encounter. I'm not gonna get into details, but as you can imagine it was very traumatic. A few years before this mdma trip, I had my first real sexual experience with a girl whom I was "friends with benefits." It didn't go well though. I started having flashbacks and "body memories" and couldn't go through with it. It was incredibly embarrassing and humiliating. We eventually omitted the "benefits" aspect of our friendship and just decided to be friends after that.
D and L both know this about me. D and I can feel a level of empathy for ourselves since we've both been through sexual trauma. D was molested when she was younger and raped twice. She's one of the strongest people I know, and both of us share a very strong connection.
Anyway, back to the molly. D wanted to teach me how to please a girl so I would be prepared when i got another chance. Like before, L was trying to avoid this situation, but he let it happen anyway. D showed me all the hand stuff and mouth stuff, but i'm not gonna get too into that. It was pretty awesome to say the least, but also very weird.. But things didn't slow down from there.
D asked me to play the guitar again cuz it turns her on. She then confessed to me how she always wanted to suck my dick while I played guitar for her and how horny it makes her. She also kept talking about how bad she wanted to fuck me. Keep in mind L was present for all her comments. I wasn't sure how to react at all when hearing this, especially in front of L. But i'm not gonna lie, I felt incredibly robbed at that moment. Especially because D and L have a good amount of issues with their relationship, and i've always kinda felt like me and D get along better than D and L.. But what do i know, it's probably just jealousy, and i'm not gonna get into that either.
D came up to me while I was playing guitar and started seducing me. This is where it gets really crazy.. She laid me down and started stroking my thing...right in front of L.. She kept making the excuse to L that "I have to heal him from his trauma or else he'll never get over it" which was actually true. So I guess that was enough for L to just let it happen. And for some reason I let it happen too.. I guess that makes me a shitty friend, but oh well. I can only imagine what was going through L's head..
D started touching me more and more, breathing heavily in my ear. She told me she wanted to suck my dick. At that moment, L said "fuck this i'm going upstairs." So he went upstairs, and D proceeded.. She sucked it for a good 45 seconds until the voice of reason in my head finally cracked. So I got up and said you should probably stop.
I told her thank you for trying to help me and gave her a big hug. She told me I was her best friend and she loved me, I told her I loved her too. We had a very special moment. It was sweet. After that we went upstairs to talk to L. We said we didn't actually follow through and we're sorry for being idiots. Surprisingly he let it go. The drugs started to wear off soon and we all got tired. We went to bed shortly after that.
The next day I felt a little tired, but not really hungover. D said she felt fine too, but L said he felt shitty the next few days.. Overall molly was a crazy experience, and one of the best drugs i've ever done. Other drugs i've consumed have been LSD, salvia, DXM, methylone, 25-c, and oxy, but mdma definitely topped all of those. I would definitely try it again. It was a crazy trip.
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