December '14 -- SL Getting & Staying Sober Thread

[CamaroChick]

Doing great...

C.H. I am a diagnosed Insomniac, sleep was a huge reason I used. It still isn't great and I have to take Seroquel for it but its better. I also have basically had to accept that my sleep will never be great. Before, I always looked at it as something I had to fix. Now, its a problem that I have to treat with medicine. Just the way I look at it basically.

6 months and 26 days clean and serene. Feels great to write that.

I have a Doctors appointment today with a new doc (I am on Obamacare). For like 60 seconds I thought to myself "Don't tell them you are an addict and see if you can get an ambien script!"... then I quickly realized how crazy that is. So what am I going to do as soon as the doctor walks in????? Tell him I am a recovering addict of course!

Before I moved to a new state and switched pain doctors my old one gave me ambien and I took one a night for a year or more to help me sleep because of the opiates. Before I started opiates I could sleep anytime I wanted, I loved sleep and naps. So 5 months ago no more ambien. I switched to half a Valium or Xanax to help me sleep occasionally and didn't have any issues but am scared to get addicted to those so I try to use muscle relaxers and zzzquil instead when I can, to sleep. Sometimes it takes me a while to sleep, I miss the ambien sorry, kind of a random story. I hope once I am clean in a couple weeks I can someday recover my affinity and ease for and of sleep because I truly love it. That's one of my biggest worries on the subs I just started today, is will I be able to sleep while I taper. I sure hope so. I'm considering trying a nap this afternoon to see if I can do it.

BTW Congrats on such a long time clean. Rockstar! I hope to be there come June.

 

[Smoky]

100 days!

A concernment of mine is watery glassy eyes I still have on a consistent basis, it looks as if I'm still sick when I'm not. This is the one physical sx, that is not diminishing. Otherwise, it's good and so freeing to live a life not controlled by heroin anymore...

 

[Smoky]

Savella (milnacipran HCl) is an SNRI similar to Lyrical and Cymbalta. I absolutely hated Cymbalta, had similar stuff with you and Lyrica on it. I think it has a lower abuse potential than Lyrica.

Good to know - I respond really well to SNRI's. I have taken Strattera before, and Wellbutrin... but don't do too well with straight up SSRIs myself. I'll bring it up to my doc.

 

[Erikmen]

@Camaro,
If you can get anything from half Valium or Xanax, you probably have no tolerance at all.
So watch out for what you take.
I could take 20 Valiums with scotch and still feel absolutely nothing. This is due to tolerance.
The same could apply for ambien, Oxys etc.
Why go to subs if you have 70 mg of oxys daily?
If I understood you well, just stop using them. I suppose subs would be much stronger than what you were having.

 

[neversickanymore]

24 more down

Im very close to making the push off tobacco.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

24 more down

Im very close to making the push off tobacco.

Dude please do

You are a huge inspiration to me

You can do it

Tobacco is so damaging to the body

You'll feel healthier and happier

I am thankful I don't use tobacco

Just try quitting, you can always pick it up again

But I know and have faith in you brother

 

[Smoky]

Haven't smoked cigarettes since a month now. Never felt better. Life is awesome. X)

Congratulations Balea!

 

[wezface]

Good to know - I respond really well to SNRI's. I have taken Strattera before, and Wellbutrin... but don't do too well with straight up SSRIs myself. I'll bring it up to my doc.

Savella is approved in Europe for treatment of depression but not in the U.S. In America it is prescribed only for fibromyalgia. Just FYI

 

[CamaroChick]

@Camaro,
If you can get anything from half Valium or Xanax, you probably have no tolerance at all.
So watch out for what you take.
I could take 20 Valiums with scotch and still feel absolutely nothing. This is due to tolerance.
The same could apply for ambien, Oxys etc.
Why go to subs if you have 70 mg of oxys daily?
If I understood you well, just stop using them. I suppose subs would be much stronger than what you were having.

I chose subs (starting at 2mg and tapering off) because I was on pain meds for almost 3 years total. Hydro for 2 years and then perc and finally oxy. Withdrawals are horrible for me. I own my own business and have 100 handmade items which have to be made by me and shipped within the next two weeks. Being down for a week is not an option. I could take these tiny percs, but I do not trust myself tapering down off my dose with the 30 5mg percocet I have. Firstly I don't think it would be enough, since it's like just 15 of my regular pills. Secondly I know I would just call a friend back home and invent a reason to make the drive to pick up more opiates.

I hope this makes sense. Half a bar of Xanax or one 10mg Valium do put me to sleep, yes. I'm sorry; it would appear that I'm not a hard core enough user in your mind to get sick as a dog when stopping, but I can assure you that is far from true. Could you just stop after taking pain meds or H for 3 years straight, no matter the dose? If so.. kudos to you. I can't.

 

[neversickanymore]

Dude please do

You are a huge inspiration to me

You can do it

Tobacco is so damaging to the body

You'll feel healthier and happier

I am thankful I don't use tobacco

Just try quitting, you can always pick it up again

But I know and have faith in you brother

Hey thank You for the great compliment as well as the encouragement. I have a very high level of respect for you as well CH

I think I will do it very soon, but not today.. maybe monday.

 

[Just A Guy]

^^ I've been vaping -- was smoking cigs for the last few weeks until this Monday. Haven't smoked tobacco since -- always helps when you get bronchitis.

 

[neversickanymore]

I was finally able to give up the cigs completely. I have not had one for over a half year now. I'm on about a can of dip a day. I think I may have a harder time with the short physical withdrawals, but I think I will have a much easier time with the psychological ones. We will see soon.

 

[CamaroChick]

Once I'm off opiates, tobacco is next on the list. Should be a cake walk compared to opiate WD right?!

 

[samm2]

Fell last night, couldn't resist Guiness Stout.Felt bad this morning combination guilt and hangover I think. I don't think falling is as bad as what you do sfter, I'm just going to make this weekend a more sober one.Get back in the saddle.

 

[neversickanymore]

After kicking a very substantial opiate habit, I was surprised when I made a run at tobacco a while back. I have quit tobacco a few times over the years only to addict my way back somehow. But you're right, the withdrawal from the physical dependence isn't even in the same league and was very mild compared to the opiates or benzos. However I experienced the addiction to be much stronger.

A theory I have as to why its such a bitch of an addiction is the brain logs all sensory information when we stimulate the mesolimbic dopamine reward pathway. It then constantly scans all our sensory input for these conditions. If it recognizes an opertunity for a reward it can and will trigger us and send craves and other manipulations to drive us to the "reward." Since smokers usually smoke like twenty cigs a day in many different places and each of these cigs provide about ten hits and ten resultant mesolimbic activations. There ends up being almost unlimited triggers.

So we can be inundated with an almost constant barrage of trigger induced addictive drives in the beginning and it also leaves a ton of landmines for down the road when we are least expecting them. Those landmines are the ones that got me the last two times.. both right about at five months. This time I'm have the techniques I developed for the opiates and other drugs and I'm very confident this time will be much easier and it will be the last time I travel this same old ground.

I hope quitting the chew is going to be easier after the physical stuff fades.. its delivery system is so much more constant and im interested to see if it carries nearly as many triggers, because it was not consumed with a hit and resultant dopamine, hit and resultant dopamine, all day fashion. So im thinking it could be much worse through the physical detox as chewers recieve much higher levels of nicotine, but im hoping its easier after day three or four. Hoping and praying I guess.

 

[Erikmen]

I chose subs (starting at 2mg and tapering off) because I was on pain meds for almost 3 years total. Hydro for 2 years and then perc and finally oxy. Withdrawals are horrible for me. I own my own business and have 100 handmade items which have to be made by me and shipped within the next two weeks. Being down for a week is not an option. I could take these tiny percs, but I do not trust myself tapering down off my dose with the 30 5mg percocet I have. Firstly I don't think it would be enough, since it's like just 15 of my regular pills. Secondly I know I would just call a friend back home and invent a reason to make the drive to pick up more opiates.

I hope this makes sense. Half a bar of Xanax or one 10mg Valium do put me to sleep, yes. I'm sorry; it would appear that I'm not a hard core enough user in your mind to get sick as a dog when stopping, but I can assure you that is far from true. Could you just stop after taking pain meds or H for 3 years straight, no matter the dose? If so.. kudos to you. I can't.

Maybe not. Good luck!

 

[Captain.Heroin]

39 days

Insomnia still severe

Less suicidal thoughts, and I hope they keep decreasing

But they still occur and are really vivid

I hope someone else can relate to what I am going through because it's harrowing and unpleasant.

 

[Erikmen]

After kicking a very substantial opiate habit, I was surprised when I made a run at tobacco a while back. I have quit tobacco a few times over the years only to addict my way back somehow. But you're right, the withdrawal from the physical dependence isn't even in the same league and was very mild compared to the opiates or benzos. However I experienced the addiction to be much stronger.

A theory I have as to why its such a bitch of an addiction is the brain logs all sensory information when we stimulate the mesolimbic dopamine reward pathway. It then constantly scans all our sensory input for these conditions. If it recognizes an opertunity for a reward it can and will trigger us and send craves and other manipulations to drive us to the "reward." Since smokers usually smoke like twenty cigs a day in many different places and each of these cigs provide about ten hits and ten resultant mesolimbic activations. There ends up being almost unlimited triggers.

So we can be inundated with an almost constant barrage of trigger induced addictive drives in the beginning and it also leaves a ton of landmines for down the road when we are least expecting them. Those landmines are the ones that got me the last two times.. both right about at five months. This time I'm have the techniques I developed for the opiates and other drugs and I'm very confident this time will be much easier and it will be the last time I travel this same old ground.

I hope quitting the chew is going to be easier after the physical stuff fades.. its delivery system is so much more constant and im interested to see if it carries nearly as many triggers, because it was not consumed with a hit and resultant dopamine, hit and resultant dopamine, all day fashion. So im thinking it could be much worse through the physical detox as chewers recieve much higher levels of nicotine, but im hoping its easier after day three or four. Hoping and praying I guess.

I believe chewing releases nicotine constantly and in a greater level maybe.
Good luck! You will probably feel hungry or with desires to eat to compensate the nicotine. Or not..

 

[Erikmen]

39 days

Insomnia still severe

Less suicidal thoughts, and I hope they keep decreasing

But they still occur and are really vivid

I hope someone else can relate to what I am going through because it's harrowing and unpleasant.

CH,
I do have chronic insomnia and this makes me very upset sometimes.
I had gone through phases in life where I really wished to go away, but things didn´t work out well and I did not make it.
I was disappointed and quite embarrassed for a long time.
One thing I can assure you. This will pass.
It´s tough but you will grow tougher and you are not alone. Trust me on that..

 

[wezface]

qft^

Definitely not alone. I sleep an average of two hours at a time which means I'm not even completing a sleep cycle, so I feel like shit all the time