xburtonchic
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 17, 2011
- Messages
- 1,003
I know... that's what I was saying ;p If he's not serious about getting clean, he's getting kicked to the curb. I've been down this road before, I was dating someone who was supplying me drugs right before I got clean last time too... same situation, he kept saying he was gonna get clean with me and then would just end up offering me drugs. Took me about a week to finally realize he wasn't serious and didn't have my best interests in mind, but he was very much dunzo once I figured it out lol... and what do you know, I ended up getting some solid clean time once he was gone. I know what I need to do if it happens again, my mind is already made up... no worries, I have no problem with cutting people off if I need to. People like that are easily replaceable. There are only a few people in my life that I can't imagine not ever having around, and none of them use opiates!!
I am all for making radical changes
I won't do inpatient rehab again... never had success with it. The two times I HAVE had success, it was by quitting on my own at home. Mostly because, like you said, I need to make radical changes in order to be successful... the times I've gotten clean it had everything to do with throwing myself back into normal activities as quickly as possible (going out with my sober friends, hanging with family, working on my music, finding new hobbies and activities and friends, going to school, finding a job, etc.) I'm pretty sure this is why rehab environments have never worked for me. Only being around other addicts, most of whom are only there by force and don't actually want to quit and a few others who actually keep using and bringing drugs into the facility, having to talk and think about it 24/7... nope, can't do it. It perpetuates my cravings and impulses to use BAD. I literally have questioned my sanity every single time I've been in a rehab facility (and it's been a few different times already) because I could NOT stop thinking about using no matter what... fuck it was horrible. I need distraction and normalcy and people I care about and who care about me and who are good influences around me.
But some sort of outpatient program is a different story entirely... that's something I have actually been thinking about lately. I do think it could be beneficial for me to have a place to go where I can dedicate time to my recovery but without having to think about it 24/7, where I have a secondary place other than just Bluelight to talk to other people in my situation, and where I can sort through my feelings and thought processes and learn new coping skills and such. It sounds like a pretty damn good idea to me... problem is I don't have health insurance anymore as of August :/
I am all for making radical changes
I won't do inpatient rehab again... never had success with it. The two times I HAVE had success, it was by quitting on my own at home. Mostly because, like you said, I need to make radical changes in order to be successful... the times I've gotten clean it had everything to do with throwing myself back into normal activities as quickly as possible (going out with my sober friends, hanging with family, working on my music, finding new hobbies and activities and friends, going to school, finding a job, etc.) I'm pretty sure this is why rehab environments have never worked for me. Only being around other addicts, most of whom are only there by force and don't actually want to quit and a few others who actually keep using and bringing drugs into the facility, having to talk and think about it 24/7... nope, can't do it. It perpetuates my cravings and impulses to use BAD. I literally have questioned my sanity every single time I've been in a rehab facility (and it's been a few different times already) because I could NOT stop thinking about using no matter what... fuck it was horrible. I need distraction and normalcy and people I care about and who care about me and who are good influences around me.
But some sort of outpatient program is a different story entirely... that's something I have actually been thinking about lately. I do think it could be beneficial for me to have a place to go where I can dedicate time to my recovery but without having to think about it 24/7, where I have a secondary place other than just Bluelight to talk to other people in my situation, and where I can sort through my feelings and thought processes and learn new coping skills and such. It sounds like a pretty damn good idea to me... problem is I don't have health insurance anymore as of August :/
:D
