Addicted to Tramadol, about to loose everything

[ManleyDanley]

I've been an abuser for about ten years now. Most of that is cigarettes, alcohol and weed. The weed got a little crazy when my tolerance got up there. The drinking was only bad while I was in the navy.

I've tried opiates and various pharms. My moms purse was like a grab bag for pills, which is where I discovered Tramadol. I knew my sister and mom put these away like pez, so I was bored, out of weed and wanted to get high. I took 100 mg every few days at first, but I got a Rx of Tramadol from my doctor. It was pretty much an endless supply.

(Almost done)
I got up to about 400-500 mg/day. I would stay up all night, totally wrapped up in a video game or playing guitar or something, not eat anything and do it all again. I was like that for about the last six months. I tried going CT a month ago, relapsed, had a seizure and ended up in the ER.

My girlfriend isn't going to put up with my shit much longer. I want to be sober again, but what do fill that awful, restless void with?

I'm relatively healthy, 28, a little over weight and not financially stable. I need to turn this all around but I can't get past this part.

 

[P.o.T.u.S]

First id say get with a doctor and get a taper plan so u can safely detox off the tram.the endless void is all in your head u are complete.you need to get to the root cause of why you are self-medicating.remember you are in control dont let your mind trick you all it is doing is seeking pleasure and you always have a choice.good luck man

 

[herbavore]

Sounds like you need to address more than the tramadol addiction for sure. Maybe family issues that go way back if your mom and sister are doing the same thing? I can hear how scared you are but consider this: you made this thread which is a courageous way of saying, "I need to change." Figuring out how to change is a process and one of the best things you can do is to get support for the inevitable ups and downs of that process. Mindfulness and CBT techniques can really help change your thinking so that you have the strength to face difficult emotions.Good luck and keep checking in here--keeping a daily log on Bluelight can be a great strategy along with everything else.

 

[straightrazor]

Tramadol is a huge pain. I originally got into it when I was coming off methadone to take the edge of the withdrawal. I immeditiately fell in love with the stuff because it gave me not only a mild opiate buzz but had extremely effective anti-depressant effects. I have been on-again/off-again with the stuff for the past few years and while it originally seemed rather benign it wasn't long until I was noticing consistent side effects. I find the withdrawal from this drug particular insidious.

I managed my abuse for years at a dose of 400-800mg but towards the end my dosages skyrocketed and I turned into "that guy" who was taking 40-50 pills in one dose which unsurprisingly led to seizures on more than one occasion. I wish it wasn't so easy to get and so cheap. A lot of people will talk about how mild tramadol is and treat it like it isn't a serious drug -- don't buy into that nonsense.

Good luck. Acute withdrawal last ~10 days in my experience but the worst of it is days 2-4 imo.

 

[legalizeall]

Trust me, when you get clean, that void will take care of itself. I used to think that way. Like my life is going to be so boring without this. Even tho my life was shit and getting shittier too but thats what our addiction tells us. And from what you said, if you keep using your going to have bigger voids that your gonna fill with a bigger addiction. How your thinking now is not going to stay the same when you get clean. You will be thinking completely different thoughts and you wont be wondering how to fill any void.

 

[adrenalinerushes]

Tramadol is a huge pain. I originally got into it when I was coming off methadone to take the edge of the withdrawal. I immeditiately fell in love with the stuff because it gave me not only a mild opiate buzz but had extremely effective anti-depressant effects. I have been on-again/off-again with the stuff for the past few years and while it originally seemed rather benign it wasn't long until I was noticing consistent side effects. I find the withdrawal from this drug particular insidious.

I managed my abuse for years at a dose of 400-800mg but towards the end my dosages skyrocketed and I turned into "that guy" who was taking 40-50 pills in one dose which unsurprisingly led to seizures on more than one occasion. I wish it wasn't so easy to get and so cheap. A lot of people will talk about how mild tramadol is and treat it like it isn't a serious drug -- don't buy into that nonsense.

Good luck. Acute withdrawal last ~10 days in my experience but the worst of it is days 2-4 imo.

all very informative info that i agree with. though i don't see how tramadol is easy to obtain. i wish.

 

[ManleyDanley]

Thanks for the replies everyone. For some reason, the withdrawal hasn't set in. It's been quite a few days since my last dose.

Anyway, I really like the positive light you shine on everything Herbavore, my brain seems to be out of good things to say to me.

Straightrazor, I probably would have ended up eating just as much. It can be such a good feeling, almost too good to be true.

I'm doing all right today. But I got a few gabapentin, which helps a lot with kicky legs and insomnia Ime.

I appreciate the responses, it's so nice to talk with people who know what it's like to be an addict/abuser. Drug abuser, not people abusers. People abusers suck. I have to go to sleep, well try to. Thanks again for the stories and empathy, it really does a lot.

 

[jadehick92]

Hi

I have been addicted to tramadol for around 6 month now. First I wad addicted to codeine and then went onto tramadol. I take around 250mg per day. I just can't get off it. I'm desperate to but I'm struggling. Like you Manley I feel like I'm about to loose everything. I want to start tappering but I'm not sure how to go about it? Any Advice would be great. Manley how are you doing? Are you going ct?

Thanks

 

[ManleyDanley]

Hey Jadehick, I went ct a few weeks ago and it was pretty crazy. I ended up relapsing and took around 1,000 mg in 24 hours. That gave me a seizure right in front of my girlfriend, who thought I wasn't taking Tramadol anymore.

Tramadol is really tough to get away from. If you can, talk with a doctor or addiction specialist to help guide you. From what I've read, you should never stop taking Tramadol cold turkey.

In my experience, light hearted movies helped a little. Getting up and going for walks worked really well. Excercise, at any level, helps. I had a big bag of almonds and a bowl of different kinds of candy and chocolate to munch on.

Are you trying to quit?