• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist | cdin | Lil'LinaptkSix

Being around all of your druggie friends, sober

A

Aire

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 15, 2014
Messages
12
God damn. I'm a week and a half sober and I did opiates, adderall, smoked a lot and messed around with psychedelics with all of my friends.

It sucks being around all of my friends everyday when all they're doing is being "less grown up" than me and still just not giving a fuck about shit and doing all sorts of drugs. Finding it hard to deal with and finding it hard to communicate with them. Feel? Experiences, advice?
 
either ask them not to do drugs around you, or find some new friends. it's extremely difficult to stay sober when people are using around you.

since going sober myself, i've asked my friends that use not to do them around me, nor offer me any. until i did that, i found it nearly impossible to resist. since making the request, they have respected my wishes and it's helped a lot. environment is everything. good luck, brother
 
You may be the first and others may not be far behind you. Stay strong and limit your time with them but don't cut them out of your life unless it is too hard for you to stay sober around them. Sometimes one person in a group makes a change and it opens the door for someone else to do the same. Eventually your group of friends may change but I'm old enough to have seen my kids friends change over time. Maturity and real life have a way of toning down most people's use.
 
You just might find you don't have similar interests as them as time goes on and you stay sober. Eventually, this might be something you enjoy as you cultivate new friendships. It's okay to still be friends with them, to some extent, but hanging out in same environments when they are using, and similar activities might be risky right now… and triggering. I know I can't do it, using will eventually seem like a good idea. At least ime.
There might be a loss that comes with your former using relationships… It will take time, hang in there. Congratulations on sobriety!
 
Bottom line is if your trying to go sober in the long term, you cant hang around drug addicts. It sucks because those are the people you can really be yourself around, at least for me, but more and more of my former meth and heroin using buddies are getting clean and thats great to see.
 
If you want to go sober, cut them loose asap. If they use drugs around you while they know you want to get sober they aren't friends in the first place.
 
Yeah, but I'm 17 and a senior in highschool, and in highschool maturity goes up really quickly. So, people younger than me can seem really immature sometimes, even if I was in their place just a few weeks ago, or just a year ago. Drugs are hard to balance, and blowing off that balance and treating it as if it doesn't matter (ie. not giving a fuck and doing a bunch of drugs) is kinda immature, even if it is a lot of fun.
 
Thanks for everyone's tips, though. I'll probably just tell them to tone down the party/drug discussions around me. One person in particular I have to tell them to stop telling me that "it won't last". But yeah. Thanks dudes.
 
Aire said:
Thanks for everyone's tips, though. I'll probably just tell them to tone down the party/drug discussions around me. One person in particular I have to tell them to stop telling me that "it won't last". But yeah. Thanks dudes.
Click to expand...

If I were you, I would get far away from that person, rather then tell him to just try to tone it down.
 
I remember when i was 17, didn't give a fuck about nothing and listening to nobody, running wild on the streets and doing drugs, skipping school. That has nothing to do with it being 'a lot of fun', its because i was completely lost and depressed, dissapointed in life.

That person you are referring to, talking you down, might as well be in that same place, and is most likely not going to listen to your comments, whoever acts bad and ugly, feels bad and ugly inside. They are the ones who need love the most, allthough they seem to reject love and support.

You may not reach him, you can try once to talk to him, if he doens't listen, move away, its his journey, you have yours. Choose for yourself.
There is room for trying to help him if it helps you, otherwise, just walk away, don't feel bad about it.
 
True about friends and drugs. At the end though you stay more and more lonely.
Hard to build a new circle of friends. It takes time, confidence.
There is a saying that you will only really know someone once you´ve eaten a bag of salt "together" (at the meantime), as it takes forever to finish. Literally.
 
I am much happier with my new friends. I still have some friends that still use that I knew before we started using. They know I cannot be around them very often though and respect that. They are happy I am in recovery, they will meet me for dinner and only have a beer or two and will understand if I leave while they stay and drink. I do not associate with people who actively want me to use though. Those people are not friends of mine.

The platonic relationships I have with men and women in recovery are much deeper then I have had with most of my other friends. I always wanted to talk about emotional stuff and the large majority of my friends did not want that. Romantic relationships are much much deeper and I am far more comfortable with my current partner then I have ever been with anyone before.
 
Last edited:
If your goal is to be sober and your friends don't support that then it's going to be impossible to stay clean. Just my experience. My life got drastically better when I moved away from the druggy group I used to run with. They're all still doing it, and some are totally washed out now. Sometimes you have to save yourself and don't look back.
 
I have so many friends that are not "addicts" per say but are totally stuck in dead end jobs and ultimately unhappy with their lives and their use is a major part of it. They lack meaningful relationships for the most part. They basically spend every night drinking, smoking BHO and doing coke and painkillers a few times a month. It actually kinda makes me glad that my use was so bad that it fucked up my life to the point where it was time to put up or shut up.
 
Sorry, the toughest realization I had in getting right was that I had no friends if I didn't also use right along with them. They treated me like trash because I rejected that the only common interest was discussion of using and using and what to use and how to use it. It sounds like you need to develop some "clean friends." "Druggie friends," in my experiences are not friends but only share an interest in commonalities resultant of addiction and substance use.
 
Luckily, you'll be out of high school soon. And no matter what you do after (college, working, whatever), it often comes with a new set of friends and values. Embrace it! Find things you're passionate about and try to find people who share the same passions. I think this is a fantastic time for you to decide you want to quit. Stick with it and keep in mind that it won't be too long before life's natural progression moves to you a place (physically or mentally or both) where you can begin to embrace new things.
 
Erikmen said:
True about friends and drugs. At the end though you stay more and more lonely.
Hard to build a new circle of friends. It takes time, confidence.
There is a saying that you will only really know someone once you´ve eaten a bag of salt "together" (at the meantime), as it takes forever to finish. Literally.
Click to expand...

very true i noticed when i got clean that i had to change my entire social circle which is still a work in progress..maing friends in your 30s isnt an easy feat, especially of the sober variety..

OP, umm why are you hanging around your druggy friends in the first place if you want to stay clean?either stay home alone or find new friends..u will never stay clean if you continue to hang out with the same people u did drugs with..
 
yes it is quite sad the brutal reality/conclusion i came to after getting clean that the majority of my friends were just drug buddies...without the common link, drugs or alcohol, we didnt have much in common at all..
 
I don't hang around people who use heavy opiates anymore..... itt makes me fiended out.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top