Opiate Recovery in Progress

[iwillbefree]

A habit of 30-90mg of roxy per day for the past 2 years, with small droughts in between, but no real intent of quitting until now. Athletic frame, but skinny, so good metabolism. Wanted to share this story for advice from the veterans and to encourage those who want to be free from the fog of opiate addiction.

14 month old daughter and a wonderful partner who this addiction was hidden from until Oct 27th. Came clean as to what i was struggling with and found great support from family. A college student and in the middle of a semester at school, and just like everyone else, had plenty of reasons why one couldnt quit now. Why it was needed to keep using to maintain current status. Blah, Blah. BLAH. All of that is garbage.

So Monday-Wednesday, 3 days of pretty bad withdrawals. But was well on the way. Then slipped up and found a 30mg roxy which went directly into the system upon discovery. Even as bound and determined as things seemed to be, turning away offers to help me feel better, he caved.

Not sure as to whether the physical wds will return, but do know that the emotional tole on the hard work put in the past 3 days of being clean took after using was devastating. Somewhat familiar with PAWS, but looking for some support and advice on what to expect with this relapse and the days to come.

Determined to quit so that this testimony can be a blessing to others.

Thank you for reading and any advice and support you can offer.

I will be free.

 

[aroma borealis]

Welcome to Bluelight! I've got great respect for what you are doing. Don't beat yourself up about the relapse. It happens. Your family is lucky to have you. I can't advise you on what to expect, withdrawal-wise, as my opiate deal was heroin, which may be different in duration, etc. I just want to encourage you to be persistent and continue with your good efforts. Keep posting to let us know how you're doing. Like you say, you will be free . . . .

 

[iwillbefree]

Yaaay thanks for the reply so soon. Even just seeing this warmed my heart. So I greatly appreciate the support.

Since yesterday's mishap I have stayed strong today. I went to the grocery and got some B6 and some food supplies. My appetite was coming back somewhat yesterday and have eaten decent today. Anyone know sort of herbal teas that are easy to get that provide good cleansing?

 

[bcfly7x7]

Congratulations free,

Perspective of my situation, 8 years 150mg roxy daily, 300mg of morphine, 2mg xanax, 3200mg gaba. I am free now, taking nothing and through the worst part. It took a while bc of the length of time but I feel great now. You can do this. Write yourself a note and keep it on you, if you feel like slipping, read it before hand, then choose. Keep up the good fight.

Bob

Edit: Detox baths were a huge help, removes the toxins and replaces magnesium, also exercise will get you through faster as the opiates are stored in fat cells. Also melatonin is great for the anxiety.

 

[iwillbefree]

I have had alot of hot showers the past few days, but no baths. So this idea i will try. I ran about a mile today, mainly because i was pissed that i failed a quiz i wasnt able to study for due to my poor health. But either way, was still able to get the run in. Long time soccer player so running was always a good escape for me as well as an evaluation of my physical state.

In this battle, so far i have learned that while i have chosen to end the addiction, i must replace this time with a productive activity that benefits my long term health and well being. I plan on starting back on a regular exercise habit, and regular reading of the Bible. Today i have been on a kick about the 4 blood moons we are currently in the midst of. Really interesting stuff.

Thank you Bob and congratulations on your sobriety. I pray your testimony continues to be a blessing to others as it was me.

 

[bcfly7x7]

Any time free,

Here is the link for the detox bath I used, USE the ginger, makes you sweat more. NO soap, this will cover the pores. Good luck, happy to hear that I could help.

Bob

http://m.wikihow.com/Take-a-Detox-Bath

 

[iwillbefree]

Ahh struggling today. Now that I'm not experiencing any major physical wd symptoms my urge to use is at a peak. Especially after the Wednesday relapse, which didn't leave me hanging out to dry. So I rationalize and have been trying to convince myself just one won't hurt. I know this is such a wrong way to look at it. But that's what I'm
feeling, and it sucks to be in want when it's for the wrong things.

The battle for my mind commences.

 

[lifterpuller]

Ahh struggling today. Now that I'm not experiencing any major physical wd symptoms my urge to use is at a peak. Especially after the Wednesday relapse, which didn't leave me hanging out to dry. So I rationalize and have been trying to convince myself just one won't hurt. I know this is such a wrong way to look at it. But that's what I'm
feeling, and it sucks to be in want when it's for the wrong things.

The battle for my mind commences.

Don't use again. Flush all your opiates, tear up your script. It's what I did and I would have used if I didn't. All your going to do is give yourself more withdrawals and prolong the process. I flushed over 1000mg of oxy and 1500mg of morphene and I am SOOO glad I did.

Day 5 opiate free, my use wasn't as long or high dose as yours but it was pretty close, and today I feel almost GOOD aside from my back pain, the back pain makes it a lot harder to quit/stay off because it's easy to justify using but it's just not worth it. Going to try other methods, I hope to never touch an opiate again.

I'm going through pretty much the exact same thing as you right now so PM me if you wanna talk, I think it would help us both.

 

[Erikmen]

Ahh struggling today. Now that I'm not experiencing any major physical wd symptoms my urge to use is at a peak. Especially after the Wednesday relapse, which didn't leave me hanging out to dry. So I rationalize and have been trying to convince myself just one won't hurt. I know this is such a wrong way to look at it. But that's what I'm
feeling, and it sucks to be in want when it's for the wrong things.

The battle for my mind commences.

Good to start thinking about that because this will be the battle you would be dealing with as soon as you you decide to really quit this for once and for all.
Good luck with that!

 

[iwillbefree]

I dont have a script to anything i never have. Most everything was coming out of my pocket, aside from a few hydros here and there for dental work. Please dont do the math i do not want to know what i have thrown away, but what i do know is i seem to already be accumulating cash much quicker than before. Lifter i would be happy to chat through PM. Glad to find you are DAY 5 opiate free. I know alot of ppl who are on day 2 or 3 that would love to hear what we just went through and already how much better we are feeling and to keep fighting.

I have found a local NA meeting that is literally 5 minutes from my house. Kinda feel like this is God send at this point. Going to check it out and try to find a good local support/accountability system outside of my family. Its nice to have loved ones who care and support you, but at the same time its hard to answer all their questions with a smile. Mood swings i guess, sometimes more irritable than others. I have enjoyed this outlet to you guys so thank you for the words.

 

[aroma borealis]

Glad to hear you found the closeby NA meeting. Going to meetings (NA and AA) bolstered me up in my recovery. You're right where you should be; it's natural to have cravings. But you don't have to act on them anymore. Sometimes it helps to make a list of all the things you are grateful for in your life, then look at it and think about how they would be put in jeopardy were you to begin using again. Also, it helped me to try to think my actions through all the way to their consequences. When cravings got to be too much, sometimes I would impulsively use -- just shut off my mind, basically, and go out and relapse, trying not to think about it too much, on automatic pilot. A bad plan. I was always sorry later. You might want to check out the "Sober Living" section on here. It has links for good information on staying clean. I was just looking at it today for the first time.Good to hear from you. It's hard, maybe the hardest thing you ever do, but so worth it.

 

[logriffy]

Glad to see your recovering and making the right choicss this week.
I am a recovering roxy addict myself of 3 years, i was taking 300-450mgga day and this past 3 months a heroin addict,using a 10 to 15 bags a day. Decided to come clean to my parents and they are supporting me as well. I started the subxone taper program starting at 8mg a day and was supposed to be at 2mg at the end of the week. Called my doctor the 2nd day and we agreed upon a 16mg maintenance program. Im on day 3 of the 16mg program and it is helping a lot with withdraw and cravings. I would recommend trying this if your willing to for it is a lifessver so far. I see me psychiatrist who is bupe certified and pay a 25 dollar copay each visit and only $60 for 60 strips. So insurance is reccomended when doing thjs program. This was another reason i decided to come clean to my parents