jamesmartin
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2009
- Messages
- 1,800
Age - 22
Thought id make an ongoing trip report or experience with my wellbutrin.
I was going to write it on a word document for myself to see if it actually worked and to watch my progress. but hey might as well share it for those looking to use meds to treat your depression.
To start i was always against meds. so so so so so against them and pharmaceutical companies.
However at the same time i fucking hated my life every day and envisioned shooting my self, dying, etc in my head almost once every half an hour. maybe for hours on end or more. I have a girl i really love and a caring family. Both of whom make me so happy so i really can't resort to that aka suicide by all means possible.
I was suicidal since age 13 (which was before i dabbled with cannabis which is my doc) and now i was 22 and still feeling the same if not worse. Im not going to go into why as that is personal and not something to post on the web where everyone can see lol.
I don't know whats wrong with me but id always since a kid see everything as so pointless. Like whats the point if were just gonna end up dead. Why not just end it now and not put up with all this shit life throws at us.
Anyways instead of depressing you guys ..
I honestly couldn't take it anymore. I went to the emergency room. It was sort of embarrassing because i hate people knowing that i feel this way. I kinda wear a mask in life making people think I'm not sad at all but really i am. I just don't like to make others sad and why should they care its my problem. Im sure they have problems just as bad if not worse ..
Anyways Got to talk to a psychologist at the ER who was very nice. I am now on the waiting list to see a non ER psychologist. In the mean time i am going to free counselling at my university.
After going to the emergency room and explaining my situation. I was prescribed wellbutrin XL.
I was prescribed effexor XR but i really didn't want an SSRI or SNRI as all i hear is bad news about those. I already feel fatigued, lazy and kinda apathetic and i heard they just make that worse. Not to mention sexual effects.
HOWEVER i didn't actually try the effexor and just explained to my doctor about how the side effects were too much and how i don't want to risk getting them. I suggested wellbutrin as its one of the few antidepressants that supposedly doesn't have nearly as many side effects as SSRI's.
Its not fully clear on how wellbutrin works but it has something to do with your dopamine, norepinephrine and nicotine receptors. It just seemed to be the safest antidepressant right now. Cannabis works like a charm but if only it didn't make one so goddamn lazy and content lol! Plus i can't smoke it in class or while studying. Its for after those things or when I'm not doing those sort of things.
Week 1
Was told to take 150mg for a week. Ive done that. then when week two comes double the dose to 300mg in the morning.
At the end of week one i can say theres no real super noticeable effect like there is with things like cannabis, or amphetamines. Some people online claim to feel speedy but from 150mg not at all. I barley felt anything.
Apparently insomnia is one of the most common side effects with wellbutrin
For some reason i did notice me having semi-insomnia this week compared to usual. No idea why. I couldn't turn my mind off even though i was tired i found. So i went to a walk in clinic complained and they threw trazadone at me -_- i don't use it unless i really have to though. (it works but i don't like taking a serotonin agonist and reuptake inhibitor every night. No thanks)
As for relief of depression - There was an effect but subtle so it could be confused with a placebo feeling. I still feel depressed and would still pick the best way out over living BUT this week i find myself more often not being as sad or bummed out by my thoughts. i just kinda accept them and not feel so emotional about it. Its nice but a very weird feeling.
I live in kind of a shitty neighbourhood too. Weather is also pretty grim right now with doesn't help . Usually i look around, looking at people etc thinking wow is this life for me and many other people in this world.
Now i kinda just don't really think that and just have a i don't like to say it but a non humane attitude to it. But in a way i like it because i don't feel negative over this (the example) and many other things occurring in my day to day life.
In terms of motivation increase and energy increase i don't know what people talk about that this drug increases energy. Well not straight away anyways.
I haven't really noticed any increase in energy yet but I'm being patient and don't want to say anything yet. After all some anti depressants take a while to take effect. However my foot tends to keep moving I've noticed. Restless leg syndrome lol ? id never do it before.
Note - I have done dex and adderall a few times in my life so maybe I'm a non responder to this because its so weak compared to those drugs and the effects felt from them in terms of energy, motivation etc.
Week 2
First day today of taking 300mg . I was kinda scared of doubling my dose as i have a midterm tmrw which is very important. A lot of reports online report tremors, anxiety etc. I take it anyways but feel nothing like this. I just don't really feel anything and if i do it has to be quite subtle lol. Don't really feel any different from the 150mg.
Nothing new to add but ill add more when i feel necessary.
So far i have noticed some mild relief from my depression. It seems to prevent me from having as many negative thoughts you could say. Like stops them . But thats it. no other effects. So weird. that or I'm feeling this from myself and its a placebo.
Please feel free to give me any warnings about wellbutrin any of you have. If you've tried it before id love to hear or speak with you .
Any warnings about brain damage you've experienced, negative effects, positive. Anything.
It would really help me out. Maybe help me from screwing up my brain lol before its too late. After all i guess this is a harm reduction forum.
Hopefully you enjoy reading my experience with wellbutrin (theres more to come) . Ill keep y'all up to date.
Thought id make an ongoing trip report or experience with my wellbutrin.
I was going to write it on a word document for myself to see if it actually worked and to watch my progress. but hey might as well share it for those looking to use meds to treat your depression.
To start i was always against meds. so so so so so against them and pharmaceutical companies.
However at the same time i fucking hated my life every day and envisioned shooting my self, dying, etc in my head almost once every half an hour. maybe for hours on end or more. I have a girl i really love and a caring family. Both of whom make me so happy so i really can't resort to that aka suicide by all means possible.
I was suicidal since age 13 (which was before i dabbled with cannabis which is my doc) and now i was 22 and still feeling the same if not worse. Im not going to go into why as that is personal and not something to post on the web where everyone can see lol.
I don't know whats wrong with me but id always since a kid see everything as so pointless. Like whats the point if were just gonna end up dead. Why not just end it now and not put up with all this shit life throws at us.
Anyways instead of depressing you guys ..
I honestly couldn't take it anymore. I went to the emergency room. It was sort of embarrassing because i hate people knowing that i feel this way. I kinda wear a mask in life making people think I'm not sad at all but really i am. I just don't like to make others sad and why should they care its my problem. Im sure they have problems just as bad if not worse ..
Anyways Got to talk to a psychologist at the ER who was very nice. I am now on the waiting list to see a non ER psychologist. In the mean time i am going to free counselling at my university.
After going to the emergency room and explaining my situation. I was prescribed wellbutrin XL.
I was prescribed effexor XR but i really didn't want an SSRI or SNRI as all i hear is bad news about those. I already feel fatigued, lazy and kinda apathetic and i heard they just make that worse. Not to mention sexual effects.
HOWEVER i didn't actually try the effexor and just explained to my doctor about how the side effects were too much and how i don't want to risk getting them. I suggested wellbutrin as its one of the few antidepressants that supposedly doesn't have nearly as many side effects as SSRI's.
Its not fully clear on how wellbutrin works but it has something to do with your dopamine, norepinephrine and nicotine receptors. It just seemed to be the safest antidepressant right now. Cannabis works like a charm but if only it didn't make one so goddamn lazy and content lol! Plus i can't smoke it in class or while studying. Its for after those things or when I'm not doing those sort of things.
Week 1
Was told to take 150mg for a week. Ive done that. then when week two comes double the dose to 300mg in the morning.
At the end of week one i can say theres no real super noticeable effect like there is with things like cannabis, or amphetamines. Some people online claim to feel speedy but from 150mg not at all. I barley felt anything.
Apparently insomnia is one of the most common side effects with wellbutrin
For some reason i did notice me having semi-insomnia this week compared to usual. No idea why. I couldn't turn my mind off even though i was tired i found. So i went to a walk in clinic complained and they threw trazadone at me -_- i don't use it unless i really have to though. (it works but i don't like taking a serotonin agonist and reuptake inhibitor every night. No thanks)
As for relief of depression - There was an effect but subtle so it could be confused with a placebo feeling. I still feel depressed and would still pick the best way out over living BUT this week i find myself more often not being as sad or bummed out by my thoughts. i just kinda accept them and not feel so emotional about it. Its nice but a very weird feeling.
I live in kind of a shitty neighbourhood too. Weather is also pretty grim right now with doesn't help . Usually i look around, looking at people etc thinking wow is this life for me and many other people in this world.
Now i kinda just don't really think that and just have a i don't like to say it but a non humane attitude to it. But in a way i like it because i don't feel negative over this (the example) and many other things occurring in my day to day life.
In terms of motivation increase and energy increase i don't know what people talk about that this drug increases energy. Well not straight away anyways.
I haven't really noticed any increase in energy yet but I'm being patient and don't want to say anything yet. After all some anti depressants take a while to take effect. However my foot tends to keep moving I've noticed. Restless leg syndrome lol ? id never do it before.
Note - I have done dex and adderall a few times in my life so maybe I'm a non responder to this because its so weak compared to those drugs and the effects felt from them in terms of energy, motivation etc.
Week 2
First day today of taking 300mg . I was kinda scared of doubling my dose as i have a midterm tmrw which is very important. A lot of reports online report tremors, anxiety etc. I take it anyways but feel nothing like this. I just don't really feel anything and if i do it has to be quite subtle lol. Don't really feel any different from the 150mg.
Nothing new to add but ill add more when i feel necessary.
So far i have noticed some mild relief from my depression. It seems to prevent me from having as many negative thoughts you could say. Like stops them . But thats it. no other effects. So weird. that or I'm feeling this from myself and its a placebo.
Please feel free to give me any warnings about wellbutrin any of you have. If you've tried it before id love to hear or speak with you .
Any warnings about brain damage you've experienced, negative effects, positive. Anything.
It would really help me out. Maybe help me from screwing up my brain lol before its too late. After all i guess this is a harm reduction forum.
Hopefully you enjoy reading my experience with wellbutrin (theres more to come) . Ill keep y'all up to date.
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