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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT

Only at night I swear!

C

cay

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 29, 2009
Messages
113
Alright everything has been groovy so far as far as taper->acute wd->feel like a million fucking bucks till it's time to do the sleepy bye thing. I am taking two benadryl at night with .5-1mg of ativan (try .5 most of the time). But even that isn't helping, most nights (except 1) I've been able to get 4-6 hours of sleep with the combo but the worst everything comes out at night. From muscle cramps in my legs to cravings/anxiety. I don't feel like this during the day or evening only when it get's time for sleeping. Any suggestions (especially even though I have like 50 refills on my ativan I want to stop using it)? I'm seriously thinking of copping just a point so I can fucking sleep on those really bad nights but I think that is honestly a pretty terrible idea.

I mean 95% of the day the thought of relapsing actually disgusts me; no seriously, it crosses my mind all the time but I have so much energy and focus right now naturally it's amazing and freaking awesome I walked 8 miles today with an old highschool friend. We reminencesed about the past, talked about the present woes, and you know something articulate about the future, then I went over to a different friends house and smoked off a hookah for a couple hours while chewing the shit (neither are addicts) and you know during my using time I never wanted to leave the house and these people really didn't want to hang out with me anyways. So I mean my life is honest-to-whatever higher power there is way fucking better especially since during the day if I do get a minor craving I just focus it into my normal state of 'mania' (I am technically bipolar type 1 with a default state of manic before the opiates, the opiates actually managed the bipolar).

I'm watching less tv (like 1 episode a day instead of a series without a break), I'm fucking rocking out to music (this actually has been my staple of release, and when stuck inside it's a mix of WoW for nostalgia and music) I mean I am actually happy for the first time in a fucking decade. Sure I have the runs and I'm drinking a shitton of pepto bismol (a little scared to use loperamine, horror stories of addiction to it AND it is still an opiate BBB crossing or not).

The only things I seem to have lost is a filter on my mouth, sometimes my brain seems to stutter, and a bit of patience but I'm so fucking happy it's like nothing could go wrong anyways.

Then night time hits, and it's like "WHAT THE FUCK BODY I JUST WANT TO SLEEP", my brain tells me to start shutting down for sleep so I shut off the tv or switch to solo piano music and set it to play lightly, close my eyes take a deep breath, and then BAM my anxiety hits and I want a fucking hit so bad it's just off the scale. Then my legs start cramping, then my body starts getting that "withdrawal smell", so I angerly get up take a scalding hot shower (something I really enjoy now that I'm off, it's odd I thought pain would be bad but in this case the hot water is actually really relaxing and I get a mild buzz from it). I go back to lay down after my shower and drying off now I'm yawning like crazy and my body is telling me it's time to fucking sleep jackass, and everything just get's worst! (Sans smell, showers work wonders :D) So I take my 2 benadryl and my 1 or 2 ativan .5mg and about an hour and a half later I finally pass out for 4-6 hours waking almost constantly at 4am.

I think it would be fucking stupid as shit to go cop for this, but I gotta stop the ativan I dealt with a light benzo withdrawal while I was on the opiates decided pro-v-con the drug isn't my cup of tea. And I am only using it to sleep.

Advice please anyone I just want to sleep at night without having to rely on pharma. And why is it "night and day" during well "night and day"?

One other question, when will the runs end? I'm sure it's different person to person, but it would be nice to go back to taking one shit a day and no matter how tasty pepto bismol is I am sure there is a bit of concern for long term use (since I just read the bottle says don't use form more than 2 days and I think this is like day 5 I've been drinking it? I'm thinking that warning more exists because for long lasting diahrea that comes out of nowhere you probably should consult a doc).
 
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I am just throwing out ideas spitballing if you will. Have you psyched yourself up for "the night time stuff"?? I had a spell awhile back where I wasn't sleeping worth anything, and every night around 10:00 my legs would cramp up, my mind would race, a lot of the same stuff you mention. And it was all because I was like ahh man here we go again so I started staying up till I would almost literally fall over, that's not good on your body either so don't get into that. Sleeping pills are a no go because you get dependent on those, valium is a no go because if it does work, especially more than once, you have another addiction to deal with. One thing that helps me is I picture myself putting my mind in neutral. I mean literally see myself push in the clutch and pull the gear shift of gear put it in neutral, I know it sounds silly but it works for me. Have you thought of herbal remedies?? I also have something else, Kratom. You could get you some red vein kratom like: red vein borneo or red bali, and red Sumatra works really well make a glass of that a little while before you get ready for bed that may help. I took some red Sumatra one day last week, I took a pretty high dosage, the relief of the kratom worked for about 6 or 7 hours and by bedtime I was so relaxed and really worn out feeling that I was ready for bed around 9:00. Or maybe even try some Kava, I have heard a lot of people using that as a sleep aid. If you have a good herbal shop where you live, not necessarily a head shop but a healthy living or herbal shop, get some catnip, passionflower and maybe some skullcap and make you a tea. The passionflower and skullcap are good for pain relief and the catnip is good for sedation. It may not work for you but it has in the past for me. Like I said Im just spitballing and giving you suggestions that have proven themselves to work for me.


Good luck and hopefully a good nights rest


Peace
 
Thinks for the ideas, Kratom goes into the no because of all the stories I've read about it. I really should pick up some more green tea though, that would even help the opiate insomnia back in the day. It's they physical withdrawal craving feeling (you know that buzz feeling through your body?) not so much my mind racing, that and the cramping (which even that I think I could deal with if not for the buzz). The anti anxiety meds do kinda help there but like I said I really want to discontinue use of those. I'm on day 8 of those (day 12 I believe now of "clean").

I'll do some research on the other herbs you suggested. I just want to avoid anything that can be addicting beyond a nightly ritual (esp anything with physical symptoms)
 
IVE been detoxing off methadone for forty something days and I am just now getting 4 to
5 hours of solid sleep, some nights not all together. No exaggeration I didnt sleep no more than 2 hours a night for first 16 days and I used every over the counter method you could. Even if I did get to sleep (which was a daunting task)
I would wake up like hour later with what felt like shot of speed. That constant buzz in my head didnt go away until about day21, after couple nights of 4 or 5 hours of sleep. Hell, its 2 in the morning where I live and I have been up sine 5 am yesterday.

Now I'm not trying to minimize your experience. Trust me I know you are in sucky spot and pain is all to relative. But if your getting 4 to 6 hours sleep your doing good. I would let my body get its natural circadian rhythm back. Keep up shower routine. You can use the Lope/Imodium
as directed and you dont have to worry about addiction. Using for a few days as directed or even double absolutley will not cause addiction.
Just follow directions. Better to not use anything unless jus have to imo.
RLS and sleep are usually last things to work their selves out and hardest to treat imo.
You sound well on your way. Mental is next part so keep that positive attitude.

Jus dont cop cause you will set the process back. Going back and forth is definition of insanity if you ask me.
Lol I'm usually more helpful but like you I am sleep deprived:(
Oh, one last thing it is imperative you are in complete darkness when trying to sleep. This helps melatonin to be produced. Do not look at any blue led lights before bed if you can help it. Like I am doing now with my phone lol They stop melatonin from being produced. Over the counter melatonin helps much, but you may get morning headache , I do. Also use of sounds of rain looped on audio helps me too.
 
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methamaniac raises great points. Mine and my wifes bedroom was already pretty dark, but she put up these "Room Darkening" curtains, so now its like so dark you cant see your hand in front of your face, and I started sleeping better immediately. The darker the room the better. Hes also right about the blue lights, phones, TV's computer monitors, even your clock if it has blue lights makes a difference. Another thing to try is sleeping with socks on, I know its sounds like wtf but warm feet trigger something in your brain and it makes you fall asleep faster and sleep better. And one other thing, try to get an app for your phone or tablet called Relax Melodies, I know they have in the google store cause that is where I got it and I think iTunes has it as well. There is a free one and a paid one. The paid one is pretty cheap like a couple bucks, but the free one has plenty enough to help you go to sleep. It has all different kinds of sounds, light rain, hard rain, wind chimes, thunderstorm, traffic, white noise, purring cat, piano, etc just to name a few. You can also set up a timer for how long you want it to run. It has been a life saver for me.

Good luck
 
Yeah dont know why I didnt think of complete darkness, will have to give that a try (I have the curtains from when my wife worked nights) we usually sleep with a ton of lights on. (kids so hall light or hall bathroom light, our bathroom sometimes, window open, etc) and thats when I am not sleeping on the couch. Just a quick note it was diluadid about 100mg a day not methadone. A trick that kinda worked the first few days of wd was shooting water through old washed out cottons like way over washed with really nothing in them. But I am kinda done with that routine now too.
 
You must be pretty active during the day because it seems you're able to "ignore" your w/d until its time to chill and be alone and lie down ...that's when you're noticing it. I know it fucking SUCKS but sleep will come. don't be hyper active at night because you'll increase your adrenaline levels when its time for bed. Chill in the afternoons. Stay active in the AM...
and if you were in Dallas I'd give you clonidine and fix you the fuck up. Stay strong.
 
Yeah do NOT start using kratom, as it hits the opiate receptors and will only produce a new addiction and prolong your suffering. The only time I would recommend kratom is very short-term to ease acute withdrawals.
 
I've been in all day with the kids so I think yeah I've noticed it a lot more today. First of all I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, instead of being super happy etc I woke up pissed off at the world for no damn good reason. And all day it's been a struggle to get anything just to move let alone get shit done. I get it, sober living man it's dealing with these but you have no idea how much I want to go to the city grab a fix. I mean I'm almost to the point where I'm about to tell my wife when she get's home to immediately fuck off and I'm heading to the city. I know you have to do this for you and for a lot of reasons I did do this for me but fuck man it's so much easier to blame everyone else for pushing me into this. I have Clonidine patches but I heard not to use those past two weeks. The only thing I'm letting slip on is the .5-1mg ativan to sleep at night because I really fucking need my sleep.

Fuck me.
 
I'm playing devils advocate here but 4-6 hours sleep is enough really. If you start feeling run down and tired then hopefully that should start to even itself out by resulting in longer periods of sleep. I know coming through a detox you just want to be able to shut off the shit for a decent period each day but really it sounds like you're doing ok if you've just recently done one, things should even out in time (although for some people it is a significant problem and can take a very long time).

Do some reading on good sleep hygeine and try that out for a while. Most people have very suggestible circadian rhythms that are easy to alter through simple behavioural practice. You might want to try a SAD lamp as part of that which is basically a lamp that gives out light the same spectrum as natural sunlight and slowly fade over the course of an hour or so like a natural sunset and this helps the body instigate melatonin production which is the hormone that makes you feel sleepy.

2nd to the definitely don't start using kratom.

As for the digestive system, it can take a long time. My last detox I probably had the shits (or at least non-solid stools if not dangerously uncontrollable) for going on a month, my digestion is still not right now months later but that's probably due to other factors. You can help yourself out by making sure you eat foods with lots of fibre in it (fruit, veg, wholewheats and more), just that should make a big difference. Psyllium husk is a natural food supplement that you can take that is extremely high in fibre that lots of people find useful not just for curing the shits but for good digestive health in general
 
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