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Mental Health My mental stability

skitsofrantik75

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 11, 2014
Messages
79
As a new member I want to give a little back story. This past Feb. made 3 yrs that I have been depression free(er). One morning in feb. 2011 I got up to go to work like normal but the past few months and weeks had been especially rough on me. I have always had factory and manufacturing jobs and everybody knows what kind of stress those can lead to. I felt like I couldn't please anyone, not my dad ( mother passed in 91), not my boss, not my peers, nor my wife and felt like I was not a great dad, my son was only 5 at the time. I felt like I had to be absolutely perfect in every way admitting I needed help was a sign of weakness and failure was not an option. Im not one of those people who blame their parents for every eff up they have made, but I did learn that my dad was partially responsible for some of my conditions to some degree anyway. I still remember the words I told my wife as I put my work boots on. I said I cant take it anymore and Im done. I immediately broke down sobbing and weeping. She told me to sit down on the couch and we would talk, but I told I had to go to work, she said "no you are calling in today" so she called in for me. After talking for about two hours she called our comp care center and they got me an immediate appointment. She or I never said suicide but we were dancing around it, and she told the receptionist at comp care I needed help. We went to the comp care center and I saw a counselor there who started making phone calls right then to get me into a suicide prevention place. The place I went to was a short term 3-7 seven days to stay and get help. That morning she (my wife) and I both knew if I went to work I wasn't coming home.

I went to the house and got registered and she left me. I stayed 5 days and came out a better person. I realized that its okay to need help, its okay to fail, its okay to not be everyones problem solver. And perhaps most importantly I learned that my father was at least partially responsible for my mental condition. For him nothing less than perfection was ever good enough.

I do still have depression problems but nothing like they were. I realize now that NO ONE can take my place, my place is in this world is mine. I hold exclusivity to my spot. Im the only one who can be me, whatever that may imply, friend, son, brother, husband and most importantly father.

To anyone who feels like that someone can take their place, they cant. You hold exclusivity to your spot in life, always remember to take time for yourself. Let yourself need help, let yourself fail cause you can always try again. I guess im officially opening my door to anyone who may need an ear. Im one of the lucky ones I went to the very dark side of life and came back to tell the tale. I must add though I didn't do it on my own: my wife, son, and most importantly God himself walked me through it.

Sorry for such a long read but I know we all have problems and hopfully my story will help someone. I have soo much more to tell but Ive written enough for now.

Thanks for reading whoever does and please feel free to comment. The comments and insight help me so much.

Peace
 
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