Methadone or heroin w/d?

[fizzymk]

OK, so I havent had ANY methadone in about3 weeks, but have used heroin almost every single day. The couple days I did not have heroin was HELL, but Im not sure its still methadone w/d, I guess it could be heroin now..?

W/ds are bad, I tried to sleep the other night on a day I had not had ANYTHING and I tossed and turned all night, slept maybe 45 minutes out of laying in bed for 9 hrs! I kept getting cold, and would throw the blankets on up to my head, then 3 minutes later, I had to throw them off, getting too hot, also felt like I had to keep moving around, switching positions. I barely had the energy to get a shower and tie my shoes, and honestly the only reason I was able to get motivated to get a shower is my mind started scheming and was trying to come up with methods of getting a couple hundred bucks so I could use, I didnt want to go un-showered and looking nasty and dirty. Had I known for sure I would not be getting anything that day though, I dont think I would have even showered.

My stomach is also going thru some crazy shit, I cant eat much, but I do get those 'dry heaves' here and there, I go thru the muscular motions of puking, but nothing in my stomach so nothing comes up, after this,I end up shaking and feeling just awful.

The only thing Im not experiencing is that nasty smell that was always so bad when going thru pure methadone w/ds, but maybe after a few days with ZERO heroin, this would come back..?

I will be honest, the times I have been completely clean the past week or so have really made me realize I dont think I can live sober, but now, Im at the point, where I cant really get anymore money from anyone, have begged borrowed (not stole yet though) to get me thru the days, and Ive been extremely lucky thus far, but now Im at the point of owing all those people money, bills to pay...but all the money is gone, plus, i havent worked that much.

Usually during these times, I cant sleep so I will lay there watching tv, and if I have money to cop, I just watch the clock until around 2pm when I can call my connection, thats when they make the 'run' closest to my house, yesterday, I was watching the clock constantly, waiting for the time I could hit them up...then once I had copped, I would rush home and use, and would try to not use that much, so I had some left over for the next day, but thats getting tougher and tougher to do, seems like I want to use ALOT if I have it...this is nuts...cant believe how addicted I am!!!

The worst part of this is, I know I NEED to quit and once I cant any money, I worry about how desperate I would get, but Im not sure I really WANT to quit, I will be honest, I like the H too much, even though I know its ruining my life, I will gladly hand over the last bit of money I have for more of it, and Ive heard most people that succeed have the strong desire to quit, since I cant say that, I worry I may do something I will truly regret...Ive been watching the news and there has been quite a few pharmacy robberies lately, 3 of the 4, the guy got away, While I have never been this desperate, I know those people are probably going thru severe w/ds and likely cant any money to feed their habit, so they turned to illegal methods, this really scares me cuz I would not want to go thru w/ds in a jail cell, but can relate with wanting drugs soooo bad, your mind justifies doing ANYTHING to get more!!!

 

[bdomihizayka]

In your case, I can kinda understand what you're doing.... you're using heroin because it takes forever for methadone to give up it's place upon the receptors in the body. Fair enough... but as you are stating, the heroin is starting to grab you by the balls. You've been off methadone 3 weeks- time to put the heroin down and walk away man.... you're drug-using card is now revoked. You are thinking to yourself you cannot live sober. I get these same exact feelings even if I just chipped and used once after a long abstinence.... I will be a fiending, skeevy-ass motherfucker for about 30 days before the cravings subside. Keep that in mind, you have not been "clean" for any substantial amount of time in this.

And yea dude, that SMELL..... you can smell everything.... smells like a fucking vacuum-cleaner bag or some shit.

Please message me if you want to talk further...

 

[methamaniac]

Defiinetly feel your pain literally. I have been forced to withrawl of 75 mg CT. I didnt have a lot of helpers either. All over the counter meds except ambient that lasted first week. I'm almost 40 days into this so no turning back. I absolutely will not go back. I had no idea how methadone screws up the body. I affects all the glands that make you human lol. When there outta wack you can not be normal no matter what u take, have to wait for your body to hit reset button. I'm still waiting. I know from all the research ive done it will get better sometime soon but try telling that to my sub conscience.
it keeps saying dude this shit never going away. I would say mind over matter but neither are capable of doing shit right now lol srry, just venting.
Keep strong man, after 3 weeks I was able to lay around and feel horrible rather than not being able to sit still horrible. You H use is no doubt going to drag this out as u probably know.
Are u sick and tired of being sick and tired yet. I if not u should be after 3 weeks of methadone withrawl. You can do this dam thing. Eat healthy, take hot showers , and get out and move when you can. These help the most.
I feel ya on the smells. First weeks I could smell everything. Everything had a chemical/polyester smell, was miserable. Could smell detergent in cloths and off dishes when trying to eat no matter how much I rinsed. Hypersensitive to everything. Must suck to be a dog lol
Keep head up and keep swinging.

Ps anybody have any methadone success / withrawl stories. Timelines are appreciated.
(Srry, not trying to high-jack your thread, just feel do us both some good to hear from someone who has done this. If I can answer any questions just ask. I'm becoming an expert on this shiznt)