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methamphetamine - not quitting soon

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Dragon Catcher

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 31, 2014
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For the past nine months, I've been doing crystal. I have absolutely no problem with it, literally (I don't see anything wrong with meth itself) as well as personally (I pay for it with my own money, meth hasn't made me aggressive... EVER. I've never stolen or even borrowed in order to buy it). My problem is society! I'm now being discussed by every second person. Even by a mother of three who admittedly has sex with a married man for some money. I hate the fact that they're talking about my usage l like there's something's wrong with me. I knew how dangerous meth could be before I started using it and I decided to use it because I believed that I possess the ability to control the drug. I only use it on weekends. I do it with the two people who mean the most to me in the world to me. The three of us has experienced hell in the years 2012 & 2013. If it wasn't for meth, we would never had gotten over it. Our experiences (esp the midnight ones) over the last 9 months has been the best ones of my life. It just irritates the f*** out off me when I find out how our smoking is being spoken about and how it's being regarded as a disappointment to certain people (some who's opinion I value a lot). I don't know how we disappointed anyone. Our usage has absolutely not effected anyone in a negative way. Regardless of what anyone thinks of us, we'll keep doing it...
 
they are your family, they care about you and have every reason to be concerned. Even though you claim to have it under control, what about the possible legal ramifications? What if one day you get busted? Your family has every right to be concerned, they care about you.
 
They don't(care about me) though. I haven't spoken to my father in 6months now. I couldn't care less about it though because he's the reason why our family fell apart. My mother is being treated like dirt by family members because of him. So I don't give a shit about his feelings or his thoughts or him in general. But I'm not complaining about my family though ...because of the "care factor". It's society whom I have a problem with... They don't know anything about me. They just heard about our smoking and decided to add their own tails . What for? the fact that I cannot answer that question just frustrates me even more.
 
sounds like you are a bit paranoid.

meth isn't good for you, neither is amphetamine. they will mess your mood up over time.

everyone isn't talking about you
 
People are very judgemental. If you keep your usage quiet, and don't tell people, then they won't know.
 
pofacedhoe said:
sounds like you are a bit paranoid.

meth isn't good for you, neither is amphetamine. they will mess your mood up over time.

everyone isn't talking about you
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Good analysis. I agree with you.

And who gives a shit what people think. They aint paying your bills so fuck them.

and while i'm at it, Fuck Jay-Z and mob deep too
 
I think every dope fiend in the world has been where u are at some point. I know I used meth for about that amount of time before it really took over. Methamphetamine is not your friend even though it seems that way. But what the fuck do I know? Every new meth user thinks they are the ones who can control it and use it recreationally. Opioid newbies too.
 
Too bad you weren't born like me. I don't have a conscience. For as long as I can remember I haven't been capable of feeling love, empathy, or fear. Well, actually I can feel fear but not on the same spectrum as normal people do. I'm an only child who grew up with two very loving parents who are still together as far as I know but I haven't spoken to either of them for five years. Anyway, last year I tried meth in Phnom Penh and I fell in love with it. After trying it that first time I skipped the whole weekend warrior beginner phase and just continued to binge in my $7 a night room for the next four months. It was a continuous cycle of tweaking for four days and sleeping for two. I never felt guilty or worried about what my family would think of me but then again I never feel guilt or think about my family even when I'm sober. Now I'm back in China on a teaching contract that'll finally be over in August. All I can think about now is August when I'll be on a plane back to Cambodia with enough money to binge for a whole year without having to work. Couldn't sleep at all last night because I was thinking about meth again and an hour from now I've gotta go teach kids. Anyway, if you care about what your family, or even worse, what society thinks of you you probably shouldn't use this drug at all. As a "meth lover" I'm truly blessed with my affliction since it allows me to use without any guilt whatsoever. Also, when I've been up for days and start to think people are watching me and maybe wanting to kill or bust me I don't freak out because in the end I really don't give a shit.
 
88James said:
Too bad you weren't born like me. I don't have a conscience. For as long as I can remember I haven't been capable of feeling love, empathy, or fear. Well, actually I can feel fear but not on the same spectrum as normal people do. I'm an only child who grew up with two very loving parents who are still together as far as I know but I haven't spoken to either of them for five years. Anyway, last year I tried meth in Phnom Penh and I fell in love with it. After trying it that first time I skipped the whole weekend warrior beginner phase and just continued to binge in my $7 a night room for the next four months. It was a continuous cycle of tweaking for four days and sleeping for two. I never felt guilty or worried about what my family would think of me but then again I never feel guilt or think about my family even when I'm sober. Now I'm back in China on a teaching contract that'll finally be over in August. All I can think about now is August when I'll be on a plane back to Cambodia with enough money to binge for a whole year without having to work. Couldn't sleep at all last night because I was thinking about meth again and an hour from now I've gotta go teach kids. Anyway, if you care about what your family, or even worse, what society thinks of you you probably shouldn't use this drug at all. As a "meth lover" I'm truly blessed with my affliction since it allows me to use without any guilt whatsoever. Also, when I've been up for days and start to think people are watching me and maybe wanting to kill or bust me I don't freak out because in the end I really don't give a shit.
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This was one of the most depressing posts I have ever read.....
 
Sorry, that wasn't my intention. I could see how that could be depressing. Look at it from my perspective though. I don't really fully understand what I'm missing out on as far as love and relationships go. Life to me is just a big school/playground. I'm uninhibited on a level that most people will never get to experience and I don't ever get lonely, homesick, depressed, or irrational. I only get extremely bored sometimes and that's the closest I'll ever get to feeling alone or sad.
 
wow sounds sociopathic^ but hey it takes all sorts eh:)

you cant help how your brain is wired no more than anyone else
 
88James said:
Sorry, that wasn't my intention. I could see how that could be depressing. Look at it from my perspective though. I don't really fully understand what I'm missing out on as far as love and relationships go. Life to me is just a big school/playground. I'm uninhibited on a level that most people will never get to experience and I don't ever get lonely, homesick, depressed, or irrational. I only get extremely bored sometimes and that's the closest I'll ever get to feeling alone or sad.
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I understand completely, and i was not criticizing you, nor blaming you at all. My apologies if I came off that way.
 
Yeah but I don't see it happening to me because I smoke it & use about 1.5g during the course of three days(friday evening until monday morning). It's very time consuming to smoke meth(I'm making this assumption judging by my experiences though) ... Bottom line, it is possible to o.d but it depends on the method applied when using. According to me; it'll be way easier to o.d if your intake method is injection or if you drink the stuff. I've never met someone who've snorted it so I do not know how easy it is to o.d but I'm guessing it's easy to because you can consume a gram within 15 minutes..
 
Hi Dragon Catcher. Im glad that you are not letting others effect your decissions or how you feel about your use, and I know it hurts when the opinions of others are from those that you may care about. I am a fairly new user myself, I keep on the way low, with very few (2) people. I keep a full time job and raise my boys just fine. Mom knows when it's a good time to let her hair down and when it would not be appropriate. I have been susspected and judged, by my own son who was a herion addict himself, though I never would have nor have admitted to doing the meth to my son. I love the way meth makes me feel and from the moment I start, I cant wait for the third day. I have actually got that schedule now to work out perfectly without impacting anything or anyone in my life. When my boys are off with Dad or going for a weekend, it's a perfect opportunity for me to find that place I enjoy so much. The first few times I used, I didn't really know how to use so the effects were mild. But the 3rd midnight is the most amazing. I know meth effects people in different ways, but I am in shear bliss that 3rd night anticipating all the visitors and the visible energy around me. It's amazing every time and it had never scared me, not in the least bit. It is very enjoyable. And once you sleep after, things go pretty much back to normal. Nothing negative there. If it's done at the right time, the right place.. it can be very fun.
 
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