• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

Does it ever end ?

Great you don't have symptoms yet.

I've known people that cleared it, there are various severities of Hep C. I'm sure you know all this though…. 8(
My friend that cleared it went into some rages during treatment but she is doing great now….

I go to Starbucks to put on my headphones and get work done, tune out :)
I see myself all the time on the street… Been there.

Sorry you're going through it DWE.
 
I would never post feelings in here, just to have them cut and pasted by Arci in TL. So I will keep my shit to myself.
 
It ends when you die, or when you actually decide to make a change. You're done when you're done. Your psychological wounds won't heal themselves so you might want to seek help with that, hey seeing a therapist sure beats going to rehab amirite? Self-knowledge is key.
 
DrinksWithEvil said:
I first started posting In here in 2009 talking about my addictions and love problems

Now 5 years later it's worse I've fallen to a state of hopelessness 9 rehabs I am now on mmt it's going alright with a few slip ups,the women I can have I don't want. I'm a smart,funny, good looking guy but something inside of me holds me back from my true potential i know I can be an amazing person and husband

Im just lost am i one of those people who are just lost forever ? I look at the homeless on the street and relate with them since I was homeless i feel like I can't connect with normal Starbucks drinking people

I have hep c from my heroin I'v days and I saw the prices for medication and it's 100k and that's not even a guarantee it will get rid of it and we can barely afford rent

It's like I should just die to save my family the money and sadness

Dunno just rambling
Click to expand...

Hey bro
you are right about Smart and Funny imo
Good looking? I don't know man, i'm not gay or anything but not really dude...

You have the talent to reach your potential, and you've had the life experience to give you wisdom.

Sometimes life fucking sucks, and even moreso when we are powerless, but it still helps, ime, to strive for an "internal locus of control".
(click the link and find the part on "internal" it's an interesting idea on perspective)

Right now I'm looking at a 3rd open heart surgery, and the 1st was an emergency, the 2nd was back when i was under my Father's insurance, .... so now I'm starting to see some of the BS involved in my effort to go out-of-state to a top doc. Stuff like choosing your surgeon or a cure for Hep C should be automatic.

You strike me as a dude that could excel in life if you find your lane, where you can apply yourself.
 
Euphorogenesis said:
It ends when you die, or when you actually decide to make a change. You're done when you're done. Your psychological wounds won't heal themselves so you might want to seek help with that, hey seeing a therapist sure beats going to rehab amirite? Self-knowledge is key.
Click to expand...

True! For me when the pain was greater than staying the same I said enough is enough… It doesn't have to be a disastrous bottom. One could stop digging anytime, make a change …. even if a tiny move in a new direction …. :)
 
njirem said:
That is just ridicolous, first of all, many people suffering from those conditions DO commit suïcide or euthanise theirself.
Second, addiction is not a terminal disease, or something for life.
When suffering from addiction, the only way to stop it is to stop failing the attempt.
When you can't, you are responsible for not getting better, in the others, its out of your hand.

And the general tendence in your comment is just childish, just saying, makes me wonder if you even know what you are talking about.
Click to expand...

The one leads to another. Addiction and the inability to break the habit can lead to severe depression. I was just comparing the "depression" part with the lifelong disables/diseases. There are a lot of people that still make the best out of their lives despite their disability and they gain my biggest respect for them ever.
I think I know what I'm talking about, but I also think that you seem like a very terrible person and soul trying to talk someone down... for trying to help someone else out.
Even if it was just an attempt, maybe not a really good one at that, I don't think I deserve the kind of hateful comment like yours. Just stop
 
I feel the exact same way, I only care about the opiates. My girl is sexy as hell but not as sexy as that bun or brick I'm planning on copping. I lay in bed detached and sometimes I'll give in and throw her a shot but unless I'm in wds there is no finish line and when I don't finish she feels even worse. I am throwing away my family right now bcuz of this shit but it doesn't seem to matter as long as I still have my mistress .... Dope.
 
In my opinion, once you work out your own stuff and get to where you feel good, other people respond to that. That's when you find good friends, a girl, etc. Before that, you tend to either attract people you don't want to get involved with, because the people you do want to get involved with are looking for a confident, happy person.

Good luck man, you can do it. :)
 
Xorkoth said:
In my opinion, once you work out your own stuff and get to where you feel good, other people respond to that.
Click to expand...

Oh yes.

Once you start loving yourself (in a humble way) then people definitely pick up on it. It seems obvious to me that if you are comfortable in yourself then people are more likely to feel comfortable with you too; or conversely if you are not self-assured then how are people supposed to love you (platonic or romantic) when the one person who 'should' have the clearest understanding doesn't love that person.
 
I can help you on the hep C thing if you want.
I got drugs for free by contacting the Roche company. I also negotiated with a doctor so I could her once a month instead every week which they generally have you do at first when you start treatment. They dont need you they need your blood work. There are ways of getting basic coverage. I didnt spend more than 400 Bu ks treatment as far as doc copays. Medicine was free like I said. I cleared the virus is 4 weeks followed by 5 months lf overkill. Be prepared that it can be a debilitating process. compared to my methadone withdraws it was piece of cake. Man when they say what dont kill ya makes you stronger they mean it. I just keep trucking. I'm getting a quality of life back or die trying. Life ain't worth living to me if I'm going to be sick and tired all the time. Today I am seeing light at end of tunnel. My liver enzymes normal and that pain in my right quadrant gone and have recovered fully from the virus. You can do it too, I didnt do anything special.
That hundred thousand dollar thing a myth.
peace
 
THECATINTHEHAT said:
Oh yes.

Once you start loving yourself (in a humble way) then people definitely pick up on it.
Click to expand...

I agree with the self love. It won't happen overnight, but starting with one thing (no matter how small) and build on that. Writing works for me, half the time it doesn't make any sense but it clears my head out. As far as rehab, I've learned the hard way it only works if you want to get sober. It's true that you will never forget the feeling of using, but the longer you're sober, the cravings come less and less. Talking to a therapist, or even calling a number anonymously may help. In my case, I was self medicating to deal with my mental illness. Therapy does wonders, once you find the right one. There is a sliver of sunlight everyday, you just have to find it :) good luck and remember once you hit bottom, you can only go up.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top