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Octsober, The october 14 gettn and stayn sober thread

24 more down warriors.<3
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yes we are..


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Starting to get obsessive about working out and my body, this is pretty typical for me when I get clean. Like all things I need to do it in moderation.
 
Haven't had any dope in ~20 days. Did a rapid sub detox the first week (coming off a 2g a day dope habit) that was tolerable and then started swiimming in a sea of benzos, somas, and lyrica (as I always seem to do without opiates haha) to help come off the subs. Fucked up and snorted some buprenorphine five days ago (too many kpins bleh). Been kinda down and out each day but joined a gym and started doing yoga and meditation erryday again. Headed in the right direction day by day. Got a baddd case of sleeplessness and ed(which is weird when quitting opioids). Anyone else get this shiyat?
 
The ED is really strange, I often cannot last very long when I first detox :\

I noticed you said you were using kpins, that could be the cause right there if you are still using them.


Anyways I am still doing good, getting ready to go to the gym here soon.

EDIT: Forgot to point out that I have been on the nicotine patch for a few days. I quit smoking cigarettes months ago, but I did have an e-cig. After I get through work tomorrow I think I am going to attempt a cold turkey.
 
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I am; just downed the last 3mg and am sure the problem will heal up once that long half life is outta my system.

Gawd, every detox gets so much harder than the last. Been at it for 5 years now and this would have barely phased me when I was more naive.
But now, mad panic attacks, NO energy, depression, body twitched out like you wouldn't believe, and just general feeling like diced shit. I'm done with this drug man, hopefully forever.

Had an insatiable urge to hit up the dope man for a little parcel this morn. Didn't do it. Hooray!

Even after I delete erry harmful number in my phone and all their traces, i still always find a way to retrieve them grrrr. We'll shit, wish me luck. Staying clean after the acute wd is subsiding has always been my downfall. Good luck and Godspeed to all of you tryin to hop off the hard drug express, and to erry one else :)
 
I had a useing dream last night. I had not experienced one of these in awhile. It did not have to much of an effect on me. But im going to take a little time today and just take an inventory of my myself and my recovery to see where im at and see if anything needs to be addressed or changed. Im pretty sure im golden, but why take a chance and I have not done an inventory for a while.

Nice work to everyone whos making progress against their addictions or in their lives.
 
felt like shit (stressed,tired) up untill i went to the park with my niece and nephew (5 & 3yo), for the first time alone with them
I had so much fun with the kids, i missed out so much joy in life, im so reliefed to finally really anticipate in society and doing the things i love doing.
The fact my sister really start to trust me now after more then 2 months sober also feels pretty good.
She says she noticed im really on to sometying now, im actually changing for the better now after all the years of misery and drama.
Feeling proud, strong and happy.
i love sobriety!!!
 
Soulgasm said:
I am; just downed the last 3mg and am sure the problem will heal up once that long half life is outta my system.

Gawd, every detox gets so much harder than the last. Been at it for 5 years now and this would have barely phased me when I was more naive.
But now, mad panic attacks, NO energy, depression, body twitched out like you wouldn't believe, and just general feeling like diced shit. I'm done with this drug man, hopefully forever.

Had an insatiable urge to hit up the dope man for a little parcel this morn. Didn't do it. Hooray!

Even after I delete erry harmful number in my phone and all their traces, i still always find a way to retrieve them grrrr. We'll shit, wish me luck. Staying clean after the acute wd is subsiding has always been my downfall. Good luck and Godspeed to all of you tryin to hop off the hard drug express, and to erry one else :)
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Are you physically dependent on benzos? If so, then you should probably contact a medical professional at the very least. Good luck!
 
^nope just opiates. Just using the benzos as tools to detox. I mean, he'll, I've done my share and a half of alprazolam, diazepam, clonazepam, etizolam, etc. but I've never felt any trace of wd from em ( that thought scares the shit outta me ha). But they aren't really as effective at alieving my opi wd symptoms anymore :(. Fuggin toleranceee.

On another note, started a new job today and had a great first day. Furnished th house so it's not all junkyville. Shittt, getting my life together slowly and lovin every moment of it. Hopefully I can cop some sleep tonight. I need it ha. I'll never take getting an unmedicated 8 hrs again!
 
I had a dream I was in a rehab and strapped down being forced to swallow methadone, except the methadone was in the form of the little blue roxy pills I used to take for a long time before the heroin. It was awful. I was trying to help myself, but they were administering me drugs. Terrifying.

50 days today clean, almost 2 months! :)
 
Smoky said:
I had a dream I was in a rehab and strapped down being forced to swallow methadone, except the methadone was in the form of the little blue roxy pills I used to take for a long time before the heroin. It was awful. I was trying to help myself, but they were administering me drugs. Terrifying.

50 days today clean, almost 2 months! :)
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Remarkable! Congrats!!:)
I believe our brain compensates a great deal of unconscious issues but relief comes immediately after waking up.
At least that was what happen to me when I had a similar situation.
As said above, congratulations!!
 
Soulgasm said:
^nope just opiates. Just using the benzos as tools to detox. I mean, he'll, I've done my share and a half of alprazolam, diazepam, clonazepam, etizolam, etc. but I've never felt any trace of wd from em ( that thought scares the shit outta me ha). But they aren't really as effective at alieving my opi wd symptoms anymore :(. Fuggin toleranceee.

On another note, started a new job today and had a great first day. Furnished th house so it's not all junkyville. Shittt, getting my life together slowly and lovin every moment of it. Hopefully I can cop some sleep tonight. I need it ha. I'll never take getting an unmedicated 8 hrs again!
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If you have a tolerance you might have some issues just FYI.

Also, realize that some of those WD symptoms would be covered up by opiate withdrawals and whatnot.
 
Erikmen said:
Remarkable! Congrats!!:)
I believe our brain compensates a great deal of unconscious issues but relief comes immediately after waking up.
At least that was what happen to me when I had a similar situation.
As said above, congratulations!!
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Thank you Erikmen! Isn't that the truth?
A storehouse of material - the unconscious. Oy!
Grateful dreams stay and don't get to live into reality, mostly. :\
 
Three months clean!!!!! One month no nicotine!!! Finally feel like I'm making progress with myself, but I had to make a lot of hard decisions to get here.

I was unmotivated and didn't know what to do. I was panicky all the time and not sleeping. I took a construction job that has me working at least 10 hours per day and I'm out of town working everyday for 2 to 3 weeks at a time. I sleep like a baby now and I'm too busy to let myself get panicky. Plus my natural endorphins are finally starting to kick in again. I finally feel like I'm making progress with this recovery thing.
 
Nice work azure, nice fucking work!!!=D

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8oFreedom!! Nice Fight Azure!!8o



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%)Indeed%)
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A picture is worth a 1000 words. Look how clever the response from Neversick was!
The above response sums up everything I would want to tell you. .. And maybe add that you can also be grateful for your achievement.

I wonder sometimes how creative and brilliant Nersickanymore is every time .

Azure, you have already made it. However, remember how important it is to renew your attitude every day, until that becomes part of your routine, natural, so to say.
And also remember that every thought or 'disguised' feeling could be a trigger in a way that makes you think about doing it one more time. Don´t fall for that!
Trying to feel positive most of the time will most definitely be the tool you will use to go through this for good.
My very best regards to you. Keep it up!!;)
 
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NSA and Erikmen, Thank you for the props.

I am pretty damn proud of myself but I am far from complacent in my recovery. I actually had cravings yesterday; nothing overwhelming but enough to let me know that yes my brain is actually healing.

I get to practice substance denial daily as half the people I work with smoke cigarettes. As long as I can actively abstain from cigarettes daily, the other substances don't scare me so much. If I ever stop giving a shit about myself enough to bum or buy cigarettes, that is when I would become worried about relapsing irt my DOC's. Plus unless the universe throws a new source at me, I would have to schedule a doctor's appointment to facilitate a relapse.

Thank you so much to everyone here that has provided support for me or shared in my struggle<3 Also much love to all going through this struggle right now<3
 
As I said before, will say it again: Keep it up!
I can see, from your conclusions, that you are doing well, elaborating your thoughts and comments quite smoothly.
The path you have to go through could be insanely long, however, you are not under a table list. Just keep in mind that you have a life time to achieve your goals.
So keep on doing it, little by little, baby steps.
As long as your moving forward, even if you feel the opposite, you already know what works for you.
 
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