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Mental Health Oscillating between feeling paranoia and guilt

nAON

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Mar 23, 2009
Messages
2,885
Yo guys. Wondering if anyone could give some insight into my state of mind, in other words 'wtf is wrong with me help pls'. Has been going on for a while but feel like I should be paying more attention to it now cos it seems to be affecting my personal life more and more.

I seem to be stuck in loops of feeling horrendously negative, paranoid, and distrustful of those closest to me. This usually expresses itself in cycling thought patterns about how everythings fucked and all the ways I feel i've been wronged by people and how much of a victim I am. Either I hold out and the mood passes after a few hours, or I find the need to express my thoughts to those concerned, when I go off on one about all the perceived slights and fear and distrust I feel toward them. This is almost always then followed by overwhelming guilt and shame regarding the thoughts I had and the way I expressed them and how I feel like a burden in the way I negatively effect people by unloading my twisted mind onto them. I end up feeling like shit almost constantly, just express it internally in different ways.

What spectrum am I on? Do I need therapy or drugs or something? I'm tired of feeling like this.

EDIT: perhaps move to the anxiety thread? Not really sure where it fit in, dunno if this is worth its own thread though.
 
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Perhaps it has to do with your location: "Yes please."

This appears to be within a schizophrenic(paranoia) syndrome spectrum. Do you express any Bipolar/manic tendencies?
If this is interfering with your life and not derived largely from conditional impositions (which appears to not be indicated), treatment would seem advisable, as within any such case.
 
Idk, but it sounds like you should ask a doctor if you're so concerned.

Therapy is almost always recommended if you're feeling that way. Taking medications is something that should be thought long and hard about, unless your lifestyle is "that" bad. If I'd never taken any drugs, I might not have to today. But I guess that opens up a whole can o' worms.
 
Dont think meds will make your life better,bud. Do you have too much time on your hands to think about these loops? Do something that expresses you in best way,evolve and shit. Is your hobby to overanalise the life you have? Then its not fully good with you and thats the urge to do something..its good to think about the things that are surrounding your life,but its bad to overthink and that you have that guilt and shame ,probably because your know that these bad feelings are excessive,unnecessary ..its all way much more simple as I know,people connect because of things you do with them,or for them,with good intentions and kindness,everyone is attracted by positivity and good,because we all are humans,and we dont have intentions to hurt something good in our lifes,with all good people around, life is easier and meaningful ,even if you say wacky things . But dont make your self to this,it will come naturally
 
How long you been clean. Sounds hormonal.
Good rule of thumb is 3months no drugs before taking anything for hormones. medicine can take over a month to before your body responds. if you simply can not make it another day talk to doc about anxiety meds but they absolutely should be took only when you have severe attack and not just having normal anxiety. Getting hooked on those will screw you into a world worse then are already in-- Trust me been there done that
 
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