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Girlfriend rarely wants to have sex anymore

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Lackasham

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 6, 2013
Messages
178
So my girlfriend and I used to have sex all the time sometimes daily for weeks. We had a long break when I went to college but we got back together in the spring. The last couple months though she doesn't want to have sex with me very often. Right now has been the longest period. We last had sex on my birthday, 3 weeks ago and the last time was 2 weeks before that.

She says she's moved past having sex a lot and it doesn't interest her anymore. She says it's not my fault and she acts like she loves me just as she always has but is it me? I'm just confused as to why she never wants to and it's bothering me
 
Another note out relationship is good other than when she gets mad over dumb things from time to time. (The other night she got mad I spent time with my mom rather than her even though I hung out every other night that week with her). Other than those times it's great though
 
You need to find creative ways to turn her on. You know her better than I do, so I'm leaving that to you :)

Mental stimulation is the key to her sex drive.. The sex you guys are having now has probably lost it's originality. It's kind of like watching a generic Chic Flick or Transformers 5. This doesn't mean it's your fault. BUT you can probably fix it if your apt to do it.
 
^ This. Add some romance. Don't stop pursuing her just because you have her. It takes effort, but she seems like she needs it to be turned on. Keep it up and don't become complacent.

If that doesn't work, find out (maybe from other women you've been with) whether your bedroom skills need improvement.

If she still isn't into it, move on. Life is too short and you should be having a lot of sex at your age.
 
To me it sounds like maybe she has something else going on. Do you know if she takes birth control pills or gets the shot? Sometimes hormonal birth control really kills a woman's libido. So do other medications like anti depressants. Does she take anything regularly? Could she be depressed?

Such a big change in her desire for you seems to point to something bigger than her just not wanting to have that much sex anymore.
 
Yeah, it's either something affecting her libido or casual sex has became to routine & she lost interest in it.

Do you guys ever experiment with drugs or alcohol?
 
Johnny #1...

You should change your name to:

Cock-block Johnny or Blow-job Johnny or Taca-Time Johnny or Party Time Johnny :D
 
Thank you all for the advice! She is on birth control but she has been for awhile. Tried a couple new things and it seems to be working so far no luck yet but making progress!
 
Hi Lack-

I'm going to fix this for you right now, I hope.

I am a 58 year old female that has had an almost perfect 24 year marriage. When we first got together, we had endless fantastic sex, then after a year or two, can't remember exactly, it all cooled off and my wonderful husband was in your exact spot. He was wildly oversexed and it really bothered him, but he stayed absolutely faithful. It stayed like that for several years, sort of a routine thing at least once a week, and for me oral sex was the only thing that worked. I've never had an orgasm with intercourse.
Then we got down to the really scary business of "talking about it". Eek. That's pretty much the last thing either of you wants to do, but it's gotta be done. I finally, after wasting all those years let him know a couple of things to try, and he put my worried mind at ease by letting me know he was WAY more than happy to do them, and our sex turned fantastic. I'd been scared all those years to say what I really wanted.
It was so fucking stupid of me to wait, because right when we had reached a whole new level of experience, he was diagnosed at 52 with terminal prostate cancer. The incredible sex we finally had started having, where for him eight times in six hours started being the daily goal, stopped the very next day due to the horrific testosterone-removing drugs he was started on. A normal PSA is below four at the highest, and his was 511. He would've been dead weeks later if I hadn't forced him to go to the doctor.

So for the last seven years it's been all memories and even holding each other is hard because we so badly miss what we had. But he's alive and that's all that matters.

Now looking back, had I had any idea this was a possibility, I would've gotten that stupid talk out of the way immediately and just DONE what I needed to do to get it all going again. I die a little more every day knowing I wasted all that time.

What I want you to do is, tell her this story. Make up some friend or something since she's not going to be thrilled you're on here telling the world about it. Tell her you just found out this horrid thing happened and how bad I feel. Tell her your friend was crying when she told you about it, because I am.

Then go have that talk.
 
There is something called the 7 stages of a relationship… After the honeymoon phase comes a struggle sometimes… then a moving a part for a while, not necessarily physically, but sometimes yes, and could be either person… After that some stick it out, some don't… and so on.

I don't have it in front of me, but it really breaks things down with details of each stage and why…
 
Aurelia said:
Hi Lack-

I'm going to fix this for you right now, I hope.

I am a 58 year old female that has had an almost perfect 24 year marriage. When we first got together, we had endless fantastic sex, then after a year or two, can't remember exactly, it all cooled off and my wonderful husband was in your exact spot. He was wildly oversexed and it really bothered him, but he stayed absolutely faithful. It stayed like that for several years, sort of a routine thing at least once a week, and for me oral sex was the only thing that worked. I've never had an orgasm with intercourse.
Then we got down to the really scary business of "talking about it". Eek. That's pretty much the last thing either of you wants to do, but it's gotta be done. I finally, after wasting all those years let him know a couple of things to try, and he put my worried mind at ease by letting me know he was WAY more than happy to do them, and our sex turned fantastic. I'd been scared all those years to say what I really wanted.
It was so fucking stupid of me to wait, because right when we had reached a whole new level of experience, he was diagnosed at 52 with terminal prostate cancer. The incredible sex we finally had started having, where for him eight times in six hours started being the daily goal, stopped the very next day due to the horrific testosterone-removing drugs he was started on. A normal PSA is below four at the highest, and his was 511. He would've been dead weeks later if I hadn't forced him to go to the doctor.

So for the last seven years it's been all memories and even holding each other is hard because we so badly miss what we had. But he's alive and that's all that matters.

Now looking back, had I had any idea this was a possibility, I would've gotten that stupid talk out of the way immediately and just DONE what I needed to do to get it all going again. I die a little more every day knowing I wasted all that time.

What I want you to do is, tell her this story. Make up some friend or something since she's not going to be thrilled you're on here telling the world about it. Tell her you just found out this horrid thing happened and how bad I feel. Tell her your friend was crying when she told you about it, because I am.

Then go have that talk.
Click to expand...

Although we haven't had the sad ending of this post, everything else exactly matches our experience of 27 very happy years of marriage and wonderful sex, so do exactly what the lady says. It is the best advice you will ever get in your life.


Couples often just don't realise that you really have to work at long-term relationships, no matter how hot it was in the beginning. You will have to sit down together until you both have the confidence to be completely open with each other and talk without shame about what you want, and work out new things to try. Trust me: trying them will re-ignite the passion to new heights. You haven't even begun to explore the possibilities of sex until you sit down and talk. You will undoubtedly find lots of things where you are on the same wavelength, but don't realise it at the moment.


The key is to bring it up in a calm, pressure-free, non-threatening way, when you have no distractions or frustration/anger. It's not an argument.


And as the lady said, there is no time to waste.
 
I just read the title:
Some girls just pretend to like having sex with their partner to please them. I know I did. Even though it hurt and I thought it was sloppy and gross. Years went on and sex went down. That's just how to goes. Sure there are those times we get into a sexual mode and have incredibly passionate, hot, steamy sex. My opinion, take her out, get her drinking (not too much) and then light some candles or offer a sexual massage with those sex oils. Create the mood. If you even wanted to buy her something like, sexy lingerie (don't go crazy, stay within her comforts) and buy something for yourself too--MATCHING! So it's not like, you ho, put this one, fuck me. It's like love, romantic, matching (as long as you're both comfortable). That should lead to sex.

Should you do that every time? No. One time just shows a crazy amount of effort and expressing your love to you.

IGNORE BOTTOM PORTION
PS. Crazy stalker person. STOP READING MY POSTS. STOP STALKING ME. GTFO SHROOMERY. STOP BOTHERING ME.
 
I dated a girl that said she wanted to be abstinent. we broke up 2 months ago cause she didn't like the fact that I smoked weed. I didn't really care about the whole abstinent thing because I loved her. Just imagine that a relationship with no sex at all. as long as there is cuddling I'm cool with it:)
 
I do the same thing she is doing to you ! everyone likes sex unless there is a mental or physical problem ! many girls like to take control over when and how much sex you get. if he/or she limits the amount of sex even when he or she wants it, then the person limiting the sex gets control over when and how much sex. I do the same thing that way i get to have it when i want it.

or its possible she is getting it elsewhere? don't rule out the possibility ! women lie with the best of um !
 
Ok I have a problem with my girlfriend, her sex drive has dropped so far and I don't even know what to do anymore!
I mean having sex 2 to 4 times a year bad!!
What really blows my mind is that when we have sex she ALWAYS orgasms and we go at it for at least a 20 minutes each time. Sometimes an hour!!
She has gotten to the point to where she hates to see sex in movies! To her it ruined them? Really? She hates my sexual hints!? She really hates my perverted mind. All this was never a problem. She even hates it when I walk up behind her and grope her! She finds it offensive!??
She wants to cuddle when she sleeps... Sometimes and absolutely HATES it when I bring up sex. All this is scaring me to now end y'all. Please please someone help me
 
My bf and I dont have frequent sex, and I feel I dont turn him on, but he assures me he cares more about the quality of the love making opposed to just fucking everyday.
 
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