Is two months in jail enough to make a Heroin addict quit for good?

[heartbroke]

Hey guys I'm new here

Long story.. please bear with me!

My boyfriend was arrested for possession of heroin in February and was sentenced to 5 months in prison, but he only spent 2 months in there because I bailed him out.

Before he got arrested he had been shooting heroin and selling drugs. I don't how how long he was addicted to heroin, but he said he was only doing it for a short period of time- but I have a feeling it was longer than he admitted. Because I heard from my good friend that he started doing H after he broke up with his ex (which was almost 2 years ago) and when he was with his ex girlfriend he used to do percs.

And i'd also like to include that while he was in jail, i was told by his ex roomie that he cheated on me with 3 girls. I asked my BF if this was true and he denied it, saying that his ex roomie was just trying to "dog" him. In the back of my head I knew he was lying because he gave me a STD in the past but I didn't want to believe that he was capable of cheating. Even though I saw so many signs that he did.

After he got out of jail he swore up and down that he wouldn't do drugs or sell them again. He promised that he would change and start doing the right thing. I decided to give him another chance because I truly believed that he was serious about changing for the better. Things between us felt good again, he was more affectionate, attentive, and loving towards me. He apologized for everything he did wrong to me and I forgave him. Then he started to act strange and distant, just like how he acted when he was on drugs. I asked him if he was using again and he said he was just stressed out about finding a job and dealing with court stuff. But the nagging feeling that he was doing drugs again wouldn't go away. I also suspected he was cheating on me again because he was adding a bunch of new girls on FB and hanging with them. I confronted him about this and he said they were just friends and that i was assuming shit.

Recently we got into a fight & I accused him of cheating on me . I also told him that I was done giving him money (i've been supporting him financially) since he was treating me like shit. He got mad & said i was being controlling.. now he won't talk to me anymore I've apologized to him a million times and he still won't talk to me. Everyone keeps telling me I shouldn't feel like the bad guy because he did so much fucked up shit to me, but a part of me feels like I was a bad girlfriend because I didn't trust him enough.


Everyone is 100% sure that he's using again but idk. I'm so devastated that he won't talk to me anymore & i don't know why he would just cut me off like that. I cared about him more than anything, i was there for him when nobody was, and i helped him when he had nobody. People think he was just using me for money but i want to believe that he actually loved me

Sorry I just needed to vent and i didn't know a better place to do it. Please help i'm so heartbroken and i can't eat or sleep!!

 

[Cliffy78]

Well ime always follow your gut, it's never steered me wrong. From what u say it would seem like he may be using again but it's impossible for any of us to know.
2 months is 2 months, opiated addiction is a lifetime illness that even in remission still affects the user on a daily basis. We will always think about using IMO.
I think you just need to get on with your life since it seems like he's getting on with his from your post.
Rebuild your bank account and thank god that u got away somewhat cheap(could've been sucked dry).
You did the right thing bailing him out though if u love him, jail is the most miserable place on earth. He was gonna use regardless if that's what he wanted to do. There was nothing in the world you could've done differently to prevent it so don't be hard on yourself.
You seem like a real kind, down ass chick so find a guy that will treat you right and has a future. If you don't use then find a dude that doesn't use. I know this probably isn't what u want to hear but it's just my opinion so it's on you what you wanna do. It's a dark life when opiates are involved and if your not a user then you don't deserve to have your world turned upside down. He's getting all the pleasure and your getting all the pain. Live your life for you, not for him. He lives for drugs not you, you deserve to be happy so make it happen. Good luck and god bless

 

[8ft-Sativa]

I can't believe you apologised! .... He goes off shooting smack and boning other women .... Why are you supporting him?

 

[placid space]

Sorry to be so bold but why do you do this to yourself? Is this your idea of a relationship? And you should trust your instincts.

 

[Freon]

Personally I think u should throw his ass out and never give the fuck another dollar. Even though I'm an addict myself, I cannot stand seeing other drug addicts taking advantage of innocent people like you who just want to believe in them, but the truth is, we're selfish, don't give a fuck, and will use whenever we want. Of course we can't say if he is using for sure, but let's just say I'd be amazed if he wasn't.

 

[Xorkoth]

This guy is using and manipulating you, at least that's what my gut screams from your post. I am almost positive he's using again and it seems clear he's cheating on you. And then when you confront him, he turns it around on you. That's classic manipulation right there. Honestly this guy sounds like he's not good enough for you. I know it's painful but I think you NEED to move on. This guy is going to lead you into bad places (emotionally, financially, etc). I mean he could get a disease like Hep C or AIDS or anything from needle use, or from sex with other people, and then give it to you. As painful as it is now, I am nearly certain that it will only get much worse unless you take this opportunity to do what's best for you, and move on. It will hurt for a while, but it will get better, and soon you'll be so thankful that you left him, and sometime in the future you'll find a much better guy who you can live a life with where you can grow together and respect each other. He clearly doesn't have much respect for you. The drug use is one thing, addicts lie. But the cheating on top of it, and the manipulation when you're the one to support him... this guy sounds like an asshole. You deserve better.

 

[heartbroke]

Thank you for the replies guys! I felt a little better after reading them

It just hurts to know that i never meant anything to him. I was nothing but a good girlfriend to him and he treated me like dog shit. Youre right i need to move on.. im not going to waste any more time feeling like shit about myself. Im starting to realize he's the one with issues, not me.

 

[dankplantgrower]

just got out of jail and one of the other inmates was a 10 year IV addict, shooting a gram of tar daily, doing 30 days for possession. Now that hes kicked he said hes never touching the shit again.

 

[Xorkoth]

I'm really glad to hear you respond like that heartbroke... glad we could help. Yeah it hurts, trust me I know. Different situation completely, but I ended my 12 year relationship/marriage relatively recently. We loved each other and there were a lot of good times but she has some serious issues that resulted in her treating me abusively and taking advantage of me. It wasn't her intention, she's not as asshole, but I eventually realized I had to move on. Over the years I started to believe that I was the one with the issues too. If someone you're with isn't treating you well, you have to be able to accept that you're not meant to be, and look out for yourself. Because it's your life and you owe it to yourself to be happy and in a stable situation.