I can't stop taking subs

[TestOfSanity]

And i don't even take many. I've posted here before, but has been awhile. I was on heroin and oxy's for years, and then started taking subs during dry spells. By now i have been taking buprenorphine on a regular basis for 5+ years.

At this point, im down to 32mgs every 4 weeks, but i don't take it daily. I take them for 2 and a half weeks till they're gone, then nothing for a week and a half. Its kind of a toturious thing to do to myself. The addict in me can't moderate smaller doses, when i know i have more. I will think about it until i take more.

Im technically on day 3 with no opioids, and by next wednesday when i get more subs it'll be 10 days. But for the next week i will dream about drugs. By monday, i won't be able to sleep anymore, due to anticipation for getting more subs wednesday. Pathetic really. Then when i finally get them, I'll take 2mg, and because my tolerance has gone down, the high will be disgusting and dirty. But sometime in the next few days, as my tolerance climbs, ill get to a nice feeling high, a warm glow. After that, i will be chasing that high, and before i know it 2 and a half weeks will have passed. And the cycle will repeat.

Anyone who is looking into subs, definitely try a fast tapering method. I think i can get off eventually, but right now I'm stuck.

 

[T. Calderone]

So you get the subs prescribed every month, but over-use them? Then you run out early right? I'm a little bad at math, forgive me so how many mg are you meant to take every day? Perhaps you could have a person that you trust hold onto and dole them out to you so this stops happening.

 

[HalleyHeroine]

I had a similar problem. The subs weren't holding me and I would be in withdrawals so id have to double up. And when I talked to my doc about it she wouldn't up my dose. I was only on 8mgs a day. So I was like fuck this. I'm not going to beg you for more subs when I've already told you I'm still in w/ds half the time and I'm also not going to continue paying you for me to be in withdrawals so I left and didn't see that doctor anymore.

 

[TestOfSanity]

Nope, no doctor, I get them from a "friend", who i overpay. There is no set schedule for how i use those 32mgs, 1mg or 2mg a day or more. My friend is on a slow taper, so that's all he will sell me, and it pisses me off to overpay him, so thats why i don't get more. Years ago i use to split a script with a friend, I'd have 45 8mg subs each month, so I've come a long way. This whole area is awash in heroin, every sub doctor has a waiting list 10 pages long.

Thats a good idea, having someone keep and give out doses, but i don't have anyone like that i trust. I take subs almost exclusively to get high. I don't think i can live a sober life , not sure if i even want to. At least at this point.

 

[dankplantgrower]

Inpatient rehab an option? Youre professionally detoxed with meds in a supervised environment and youll learn powerful coping skills to deal with cravings and living sober (I know exactly how you feel BTW).

 

[D.E.S]

Incredible amounts been stated here for a daily dose. I thought Subs had a low ceiling - meaning after a certain point it does absolutely nothing. Can't imagine what type of habit would require 32mg or 24mg a day. Even 16mg seems way over the top. My guess is there is more going on than trying to detox and/or stop withdrawals. There has to be some other serious psychological issues that need to be addressed.

I've been thinking the same thing also. Quess in states It's used only for heroin treatment and doesn't hold that much recreational value for people , the über high dose is just to make sure the receptors are totally overwhelmed.