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Addict3dtodillys

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 11, 2014
Messages
11
Wow, what a miserable last six months. I was perscribed dilautid by my gp for crucial back pain and I am proud to say that I'm an addict going through hell right now.

I have been through withdrawl twice... The worst time of my life and now I'm being weaned slowing off the drug. 4mg every 4 hours... and yes I stupidly tried iv 'ing the shit after getting a shot in the er.... The most incredibly comforting rush ever.

It has led me to trying herion... just to stop the withdrawls... The bad part is the back pain is still there. I have kaiser and they don't want to operate because I'm too young.... I saw a private doc I paid out of pocket for and he states surgery is necessary... I have to cope until end of November when I can change insurances...

There is so much I would like to share. Right now I'm waiting for my script to be refilled. I haven't had meds since 8pm last night and about 6 am I started with the liquid withdrawl shits.... right now I'm not taking more than perscribed... but I'm suffering... Both in pain and my body is craving more drugs...

Dilautid is rough stuff...

I no longer have a connection to get "h"... I wish I did... it helps to supplement a little to take the horrible withdrawl and pain away.

I'm 37, business owner and father... finding hook ups is not easy...lol

I am so confused and frustrated... This all started with doing things right... and having asshole doctors telling me that I'm faking my pain...
 
Welcome to bluelight!

Man I must say for your Dr. To write you an script for dilaudids he should have known the risk. Hell its not your fault there, that's way to much of a painkiller, don't get me wrong but my step mom just won her battle with breast cancer and the strongest shit they gave her was oxy tens.
Now I admit, you did kinda fuckup when you put your pills in that syringe, hell we gotta learn for ourselves right?
I'm a opiate addict, and love downers. Every chance I got I would be looking where I will find the next nod, the next bus. I did whatever I had to do to catch that nod, rob and steal cheat, lie to whoever to get the nod. I was 17 when shit got bad, I was sticking needles in my arm when not but a week earlier I was bitching about getting a shot at the Doctors office.
Dilaudids is what got me in the IV game, then IV coke, then heroin,Roxy's and ended with me shooting meth. Its not the lifestyle I wanted, I wish I could tell you I ended up putting the shit down months ago,but not really, its been 2 weeks since my last shot of meth&morphine and I still feel like total shit. I just had a baby boy and put myself in 'rehab/detox' here at my fathers place. So far I am doing alright, and it will get better.

Just know you are not alone here, and theres threads all over this message board which allow you to express how your feeling, and even a blog so down the road you can re read it and be like damn..

I hope you stick around, if you need information on any of the forums here let me or one of the senior members help. Take care brother, it does get better. =)
 
So, a bit more info...

I'm a former national level judo competitor. I wrestled most of my life, boxed as well for fun.

I'm also a heavyweight...The abuse my body has taken is pretty severe. I hurt my back which has always been an issue with me in april.

I'm allergic to vicodin (makes my heart rate over 200bpm) percocet makes me turn into a bright red ball of itchiness...

After shoulder reconstruction surgery in 2011 I was perscribed dilaudid for 3.months and had no issues with it. Looking back I was going through divorce and was perscribed some depression meds and benzo during that time which most likely helped the withdrawls...

So, this time. While working a part time job... A job I took to literally meet new people and to get off the couch. I was unloading freight...mostly heavy as furnature... I felt a sizzle in my lower back.. it got so bad that it hurt to shit...lol

After an mri in april. I was diagnosed with 3 bulging disks, moderate arthritis and a hemoratic cyst inside a disk.. I was put on bacofin, voltarn and dilautid...

Took it easy for about a week and I move a 5 gallon jug of water and something popped... The pain was the worst I felt.... and I've had kidney stones 7 times...

I requested another mri... which was denied... but they agreed to a nerve block and steriod injection... here was the issue... I would take two month for kaiser to be able to get me in for the shots. During that time the dilaudid was making me nauseous... I went to the er because my script ran out on Friday and the doc forgot to put it in... so sat I was in full blown withdrawl...

They gave me fentanl... which was amazing.. The issue is that kaiser would not perscribe it... and put me back on dilaudid...

So... I got the shots.. I'm 30% better but it still hurts to do anything other than chill..
I am stupid for injecting... but goddammit when the act of pooping causing you to tear up... The euphoric wave of dillys.... makes.all.of.for two hours at a time...
Forgive my typing the meds are kicking in... and one little shot made the diaurea stop immediatly.

Problem is that... The amount of meds aren't enough to kill the pain... and Kaiser says the shots will cure me... they helped a bit... but I'm in constant pain... Thank god for summer. Wearing flip flops keeps me.from having to tie my shoes... which is a major chore. ..

I know it's bad... but a small bit of heroin once a day.makes all.this tolerable...lol


That's sounds so fucked up..... but man.... it's truth!
 
I know exactly where you're coming from man.I blew a knee out in '97 and had to have reconstructive surgery,which left me with a knee full of srews and pins,arthritis and chronic pain that is made even worse by rain or cold.Add to that a panic disorder that I've had for most of my life and doctors who under-treat for both,heroin seemed to be the only alternative.One drug that treated both conditions.I had been casually using it off and on,mostly to ease mt panic attacks,since 1990.After the surgery,when the most the doctors wanted to give me was Tylox,the heroin use became more and more frequent untill it became all consuming and pretty much made life hell.I finally put the shit down for good a little over 3 years ago and have no desire to ever do it again so it can be done but yeah,addiction is hell.It's good that you are getting Dilaudid,which can be effective if you sniff it,VERY effective if you shoot it,and useless if you eat it.The most they want to give me now is hydrocodone 10/325 which doesn't really touch moderate to severe pain in an opioid tolerant patient.Of course you can't let doctors know you're opioid tolerant or they dismiss you as a drug addict and send you home with a prescription for motrin.The good thing about heroin is that it makes the pain almost non-existant.The bad thing about it is that once you get off of it because it destroys your life,nothing else really works.I practically drag one leg now and hurt always.Good to have you on the site.There are lots of people on here in exactly the same predicament as you.Check out the chronic pain management mega-thread.This is a great place to both get and give help by sharing experiences with others who understand completely what you're going through.Welcome to BL!It's by far the best site of it's kind and you're sure to find it helpful.Hope you stick around.
 
Yikes! That's a nasty thing to go through... I went through Suboxone withdrawal, but it has a half life of about 36 hours. Dilaudid has a half life of only a couple hours, so the withdrawal must be a lot worse... I can't even imagine. Ironically, I just got an IV shot of Dilaudid a few days ago in the ER because I just had a tonsillectomy and the pain medication they gave me wasn't managing the excruciation pain at all. It sure was pleasant... Quitting that must just be hell. It sounds like they are tapering you too quickly though if you're that sick. My dad was tapered off of 60mg MS Contin with liquid Methadone over a six month period tapering down to literally one drop before quitting - he had no sickness at all. Also, if you don't want to quit and/or the sickness is too much for you, you should research local Suboxone and Methadone clinics - most are publicly funded and will treat you within the hour that you come in the door... I hope you feel better soon!
 
Thanks folks! I'm just a normal guy. an accomplished business man as well as a decorated athlete. I never dreamed that this would be an issue and that I'd get so crazy hooked and that the withdrawl is soooooo severe. I literally felt nerve pulses firing off... flashing lights when I closed my eyes.. violent kicking episodes when I slept... it made me want to persue illegal drugs just to get relief....

So, the next two months will be tough... I have kicked the need to feel high... I just want to keep the withdrawls away... so I can continue to run my business and be a.good father... then run as far away from kaiser as I can...
 
OP, can you tolerate oxy without apap, or morphine?
I don't care for dilaudid for pain relief orally, sucks TBH, the only value it has is when I'm in hospital and can get it as a shot. Plus I find the pain relief is not as good as oxy and the WD are worse. Crazy RLS and insomnia.
I recommend if you can tolerate oxy or morphine to make the switch. They work better and plus you won't have the allure of iving them like the dilaudid due to the crappy bioavailability of oral D. And tell yourself never again needles. Or H. #HarmReduction
 
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