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Mental Health Schizophrenia relapse

T

Tinfoilhat

Guest
Hi...

I developed schizophrenia a few years ago but was fortunate enough for it to go into almost complete remission. I was essentially symptom free for around 10 months but then I started getting anxiety problems. I also began to become convinced I had an underlying problem that was causing the anxiety & I got a referral to the mental health people. Not much really panned out other than they thought I showed some signs of adhd & some of aspergers... they did however say it sounded like I was suffering from mild gad whilst adjusting back to real life again.

Anyway... to get to the point... after lots of sessions & going on ssris, they said I would be fine if I just stayed on the ssris for a while. Even up until the last I was still trying to fit some of my symptoms into aspergers & had mooted the idea my voices (which had appeared back) were OCD but they just brushed that off as health anxiety & seeing symptoms where I wanted to. Getting home after all this... I felt compelled to look up the symptoms of schizophrenia for some reason & I realised that I must be in the process of relapsing.

I've been losing interest in things, becoming less sociable & wanting to just spend time alone, staring off into space sometimes, voices are back, I've just started waking up at 4am unable to get back to sleep every night, having little to say, forgetting what I was saying midspeech or not being able to get things across clearly... I also realised I'm paranoid/suspicioius & have some mild delusions of persecution. The voices had appeared once or twice a while back before staying but I figured the voices were the only thing bothering me until I got insight a few days ago.

With my initial psychotic episode, I had no insight for about 2 months or so but eventually had full insight after 6 months or so. It's seems to me that I've obviously had partial insight for the past few months because I knew I was ill but not what with.

I'm aware that apparently the longer you get into the process of relapsing, you run the risk of having another full blown episode & may never return to the state you were before. At the moment it's not too serious & I have insight, which is good but I'm not sure whether I should go to the hospital & get some medication this weekend or wait for a referral, which might mean I don't get any medication until the end of the week. I was 'discharged' from my psychiatrist who seeing me for the schizophrenia, so I'm not sure how that would work... I don't really need to check myself in.

I've no idea whether getting insight means I'm past the worst or not... the insomnia would seem a worrying sign to me.

thoughts...?
 
I think at the E.R., unless you're showing serious signs of discomfort, they'll tell you to wait for the referral.
 
The voices seem to me to be most indicative of schizophrenia, but maybe that's just a lack of sleep. Only a real doctor can tell you what you're experiencing. IMO only trust the doctor, never anyone else who isn't acting under the doctor's orders. This is the most efficient, productive, conservative course.
 
from tinfoilhat:

thanks.

I have got a referral & will just tough it out. I have slept a bit better past two nights but that seems to have made little difference. Not noticed much worsening other than apathy but will have to see how things go...

Pretty sure I'll be back on meds, don't see what else could be causing this that is short term... think abilify is the likely choice.
 
There is an interesting new study that has just been done comparing 'voices' or auditory hallucinations across 3 very different cultures.
http://news.stanford.edu/news/2014/july/voices-culture-luhrmann-071614.html

I have some limited experience with this state from when I was a young teenager and a few years later during a very stressful time in my mid twenties. I have a long time since then to contemplate the nature of that state of mind for me and all of the factors that influenced it. I am convinced that had I not let my state of mind terrify me as much as it did (Am I crazy? Will I be like this forever? What is wrong with me?) that my experiences would have been different. Sort of like riding out an intense trip without freaking out and compounding the terror. I have been practicing mindfulness for quite some time now. I have successfully changed my relationship with many uncomfortable aspects of my life--anxiety, chronic physical pain and grief to name the most notable.

Try to focus on what there is to learn. Be an observer of yourself. Notice the emotions that come up and then pay attention to the way your thoughts rush in and tell a story about those emotions. What story are you telling yourself about what you are feeling? Can that story be re-interpreted? How many ways?

Stay in touch and let us know how you are doing. <3
 
Herbavore, I have had similar experiences but educated myself about it in a constructive manner and realized that I could in fact be as sane as I wanted to be. There is no need to create problems with yourself by worrying/freaking out about non-drug induced hallucinations/voices. It can actually be a good thing and it has been for me over the years. Sometimes, I have had them multiple times a night and sometimes during the day as well. It can be very intense, but it certainly isn't always the horrible thing it gets made out to be. I actually posted a thread about it here on bluelight
 
thanks all.

I wouldn't say i was too worry about my voices but at times they can be very intrusive. I hear them pretty much 24/7 to one degree or another, apart from whilst I am distracted sometimes. I feel that sometimes the voices will feed off my emotions, being either positive or usually fairly neutral but at other times they get very persistent & negative, at which point I start to become delusional. It's hard to take any meaning from voices when they are telling you negative things that you either believe are true or are unsure whether to.

as far as trying to trying to think about the thoughts behind it all, I do have some trouble forming thoughts. It varies but when my voices are persistent, I feel that I am unable to have my own thoughts & everything that comes into my head is from the voices. Even though I know the voices ultimately comes from within me, I feel these thoughts aren't truly my own. So I end up just feeling like my mind is blank & listening to the voices.

As for an update... I've been a bit up & down, but something that made a difference was stopping using my steroid inhaler. I wasn't using a high dose, but I noticed my mood was going up & down a lot whilst using it. Stopping that seems to have helped an awful lot with the apathy. The other symptoms are still prominent though but being a neutral environment is helping - that was what really helped to get me past all the initial panic of a relapse. The promising thing is that things haven't got any worse. I've only just got my appointment for my referral through this week & I'll be seeing a psychiatric nurse with the 'urgent' referrals team tomorrow. I'm not sure why it took so long but I think something went wrong with it... i chased it up & got a call the day after with the appointment.
 
merged

if you need anything else start another thread in anonymous with a link to this one.

thanks!
 
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