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how are you in one word? v. Happiness is in your hands

Mixed

I seem to be happy as larry one moment and all over the place the next. Dunno how much is down to the benzo taper and how much is just my head but I'm getting bored of it.
 
Just found out a few hours ago my oldest sister has stomach cancer (detected in blood and by CT scan) and her doctor told her she would not live long. She has not seen an oncologist for staging but was having symptoms for several years and would not get it checked because she was afraid of the results. Now it is probably stage 3 or 4 (I think survival rates are 5 years less than 10% at stage 3 and rarely more than 2 years, often a lot less at stage 4).
 
Nervous! Dentist appointment today--I normally would have medicated myself into not caring.
 
relived back from cop shop and finally getting some where threated with 6 months in a rehab centre if I fuck up that its jail but I am free getting a case worker and therapist :)

and that reminds me dentist next week so more doctors scripts coming to help me get out the house yeah
 
thank you xorkoth so am i they took pity on me this time looking forward to getting the help i need for once drug and mental health works about time to shouldn't be a problem to get some kind of medication now

p.s thank you for all the kind words and support now i can delve in to my past live with most of you know about so i wont bring it up again :)
 
Excited... gonna have the girl I started hanging out with over tomorrow evening, along with 2 of my really good friends (both Bluelighters, incidentally)... we'll hang out, talk, listen to music, and eat food I am making. Then she's sleeping over. I slept over at her place on Sunday, it was awesome, plus as a big bonus she likes to snuggle all night which is like one of my favorite things in the world.

Too bad she's leaving for 6+ months in 2 weeks... but until then, good times with a really cool and sweet person. :)
 
no good no good. That's me most of the time and this is cliche but you're not alone.
 
Hey the only non chem related pain ive felt worse than abscessed tooth ache was almost dying from staph so be happy for the dental apts. SPECIALLY if you have insurance !
 
Peaceful. This is the first morning my brain isn't screaming for pills. What a relief...I hope it lasts.
 
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