Oxy/Hydro + Tramadol Withdrawal

[lucidvision]

I gradually became addicted to opiates around a year ago, but the past 8 months and especially lately, it's just gotten pretty bad. It's always on my mind, when and how am I gonna get my next dose.. but every day practically I tell myself I'll "stop tomorrow'" but I give in and fail.

It started when I got scripted Percocet for severe migraines when other meds don't work, so I could avoid going to urgent care or the ER for relief. Then a friend at my old job started giving me pills sometimes if I complained of pain or fatigue, she'd give me strong painkillers, or adderall if I was tired. Sometimes Tramadol. Back then I had never really taken opiates before so a 50mg tramadol made me feel so good and warm and wonderful.

Skip ahead to my new job. I get new health insurance and a new doctor who continues scripting 30 percocets 5mg/325mg apap pretty much on a monthly basis from what I can tell from my history. I started stealing Tramadol from work (I work in a place that has access to these drugs but will not elaborate) first just a few at a time. Then I needed more to get the same feelings so I started taking a lot. Eventually moved on to stealing hydrocodone tablets, then just recently Dilaudid injectable. I have good veins so I was able to inject the Dilaudid two days in a row on the same arm and not leave a mark. I love the rush you get frkm the injection, I learned how it felt in urgent care when they gave it to me for abdominal pain. Now I know stealing drugs is a really bad idea, but my workplace is not good about keeping track of inventory, and if they were inspected they would be shut down for many reasons. I know it's not a matter of whether I get caught, just when. I need to stop now. I hope I can find another job before any consequences come of this, but it makes me anxious that I'm going to lose my ability to get opiates when my script runs out. I even steal codeine tablets that are rx'd for my mom's dog for coughing, just to add to my percocet or vicodin to potentiate it. But this all needs to stop.

I have 7 10mg valium and two syringes of buprenex that I plan on using to help get me through withdrawal, however I dont know how long it'll take me to get off the tramadol.. I was doing good, got down to 125mg a day and then today I messed it all up because I have no other opiates, so I took about 900mgs spread out over 4 hrs. I take Topamax, an anti-seizure medicine, and today also 5mg of valium, so I dont think I'll have a seizure for going over the highest recommended dose.

The problem is I DO suffer from multiple chronic pain issues. Chronic daily abdominal pain ever since I had an intestinal infection 5 months ago, level 7 usually every morning until I take a painkiller. I also get abdominal pain attacks with level 10 pain where I have to curl up and cant move, crying. Dr's dont know what it is despite all the tests done. I have chronic neck, shoulder, lower back, and knee pain. I get near daily headaches (now probably rebounds from the opiates, NSAIDs, and migraine abortive meds) and sometimes short lived intense stabbing pain over my right eye or temple. I have a brain lesion or tumor just behind my forehead above my eye so I believe it's linked to that, and am going to request the surgery to remove it. But if I have surgery they'll give me opiates and I'm afraid it'll restart my addiction, at the same time time part of me wants the surgery so I can get more opiates.

Anyway, that's my story. I keep telling myself to quit tomorrow, but with the pain I live with daily, withdrawal is going to make it so hard. All I have now is Tramadol (and the other stuff to get thru w/d) so I want to get off it, then save the rest for when I have a severe pain attack, and if I take a long enough break from it hopefully it'll work better. But I also keep wondering about a long acting opiate and talking to my doctor about it to keep my abdominal (and back) pain at a tolerable level, I read people are much less likely to get addicted to those. I'm so conflicted. I'm sorry this is so long. Only my bf knew I had gotten addicted and he flushed the Trams,and I got off everything for like maybe a week or two, but I requested a Perc refill then started stealing again and am keeping it from him.No one else knows. I want to tell my best friend but I just cant until I get over this. I had to get this out somewhere, and I hope there is somebody who reads this and knows what it's like, and can offer and advice. Just getting it out even on here is big weight off my chest, and seeing others who have successfully quit really helps. Thank you so much to anyone who responds with help or advice.

 

[Erikmen]

First you have to calm down and be objective about your aims. I noticed you are nervous and very anxious. If you are trying to deal with this for such a long time, and is failing because the next day is best, then take it easy and don´t try to solve it in 24 hours.
From experience withdraw can be very painful and you must have patience and willpower. You need to prepare yourself so that you don´t start something you can´t finish. Do you have someone that can help you during the process? When you succeed how is going to be back to your place of work? Temptation, right? so do you have a plan for that? Try not to steal because when you get sober you will be sensitive, in case of audit you need to be strong and perhaps honest. That´s easier in case sanctions are being taken. Another thing, you will need support. Valium will just help you with the anxiety, but you need something for nausea and read how withdraws are like. I´m pretty sure you know this already, but before starting, try to lower you dosage to the maximum you can. Do this 3 weeks in advance, less every week and much less on the last five days. Do you have that time. Try to use a dose that will give you euphoria as this can easily make you postpone your ´project`. Have you considered having methadone instead of what you are taking. That will certainly be the best option as you can skip the WA and later decrease on the methadone. Search for medical advice.
Wish you well and best of luck! Ahh, don´t create too much expectations as you are only human.

 

[edgewise1]

Well Erikmen pretty much said everything I was thinking. Good post/response Erikmen!

It will really help you if you can enlist someone else to help. It would have to be someone who you can trust 100%.

As Erikmen has said, this is a process that you cannot solve overnight. There is a great plan that outlines what things you need to come off of opiates, but for the life of me I cannot remember the name of it. But I'm sure that someone here knows it and can point it out. Again, as Erikmen pointed out, it would help you tremendously to get your use down before you try jumping off or beginning the plan I am speaking about. You will need to do your best to take only what you need to stay out of withdrawals, and no doses to get high.

People who are addicted to opiates are going to get them any way they can, even if they have to steal them. You are not the only one that has stolen drugs. But it has to stop NOW! You need to work with what you are legally prescribed. Again, getting high is not the objective, getting CLEAN is.

Tramadol is a little different since it has the SNRI action. But if you have it down to 125mgs a day already then you are in a good place with it and it will be easier to get off of it.

Good luck on this and please continue to post so that we know what is going on and so advice can be given if needed and requested. If you slip up do not let it discourage you to thinking it can't be done, you just have to get back up and start over. It might take you more than one time to get clean but that is alright as long as you get up and start back getting clean. Just envision life clean and how you will no longer have to worry about where your next dose is coming from. You can't even enjoy the high having to worry about the next. As long as you use this is what you will have to go through day after day, week after week, and...........well you know.

 

[lucidvision]

Thank you both for all the advice and support, but... what about my chronic pain and frequent attacks of agonizing pain? Or post-operative pain control if I have this brain surgery? NSAIDs have been shown (in a study I just read) to work no better than placebo. I want to be able to take Percs after a break, just PRN use - as needed - and keep the dose low, just enough to get the pain at a tolerable level. But I'm afraid I'll get upset about something and pop a bunch of pills to feel better and restart the whole problem. That's often why I binge and take more pills than I had originally planned for the day, if I get pissed off or upset by someone at work.. it helps me cope. I used to get panic attacks but that was ~7 yrs ago, lately I've had some occasional mild ones. I need to learn ways to handle criticism, rude people, difficult management, in ways that arent detrimental to my mental and phydical health. For a long time I seriously believed the Tramadol was working well as an antidepressant too, but I know its been long enough and I need to quit.

Since I took nearly 1000mgs today after getting down to 125mg the day before, I think I'll cut to 400 tomorrow, then 300, then 200, then 150, then gradually lower until the withdrawals arent too bad on 50mg and I'll stop. I'll take Valium, hot baths, and drink this super nutient packed vitamin water stuff to help w/withdrawal symptoms and will eat healthier. After 2-3 days off Tramadol , I'll inject the buprenorphine (subutex as many of u know it) and I've read that takes away all the cravings, and also provides pain control. I'll do it again the day after that. That's all I have but I think that's enough to make it much easier than quitting cold turkey.

I just wish there was a really good pain med that could be developed without the chance of developing tolerance or even addiction. I hate that all the doctors I've dealt with say they'll "prescribe some narcotics for pain" - narcotics. Not opiates, not pain medication or painkiller. Calling them narcotics just makes you sound like a criminal for needing them. I really wish this industry would have a positive turnaround for chronic pain patients. It's so frustrating that most doctors, friends and family members dont understand how much multiple health problems can hurt you and interfere constantly w/your life. Some people cant take it and become numb and have no sympathy. I understand that feeling because I had felt that way towards my mother before, it seemed like she did things all the time for attention. But I'm not inducing pain on myself for attention, I cant stand what I go through every day.

 

[edgewise1]

You will be given some type of pain medication during the operation and in post-op, pretty sure of this. It will depend on the degree of pain if you are prescribed any opiates. You have a valid prescription for Percocet already, correct?
I think you need to work yourself down to whatever the prescription you have calls for you to take. This will not be easy BUT it is doable. Look around for the mega opiate withdrawal thread and it will give you some great info on how to do this.

Is the operation already scheduled, or are the doctors waiting for you to decide? If this is a time sensitive operation then you may have no choice but to tell the doctor how much you have been taking so the faster you can work yourself down the better.

As far as being prescribed opiates after the operation, it will be up to you as to how much you take or if you even fill the script.

I've been where you are now and it is possible for you to get clean. Just don't expect it to happen overnight, but you can expect to get better day by day.

Keep posting and let us know how things are going. Advice and empathy are free and in abundance at BL.

 

[Erikmen]

The good thing I see in your post is that you can already predict what will trigger your "abuse", so to say. That´s a great achievement for many of us who can´t really recognize when a relapse is coming. So be alert to these occasions. Take extra precaution, don´t keep so many pills with you or try to delegate to someone your purchasing power. Some thing on that line.
About the doctors, they are really annoying sometimes and I don´t like the way they talk to me sometimes. It´s not you, I believe they are just used to these words.
I would worry too much about your post operative. That´s when you should leave it to them to decide.
You seem to me more than ready to start on being sober. You know the facts, you know the drill and you can always count on lots of good people here on BL.
I keep wishing you luck, and again, I think you are maybe underestimating your willpower. Control yourself, know the risks and give yourself a chance. You don´t have to get all right in the first time. Just give it a try!
All the best

 

[Skelu]

Hi,

I have noticed that for me tramadol is the best pain killer for my chronic pain. I dont get tolerance to tramadols pain killer properties. I just get a horrible depression every morning and day that diminishes when i have taken my last dose of tramadol. I have used many opioids for pain and where tramadol is a dirty drug, has horrible whitdrawals and dont even take 30% of my pain usually, it is the only viable option for me. For example oxy and fentanyl i needed to up my dose all the time to avoid whitdrawals. I was still in pain. Dont be too hard for yourself. I have been many times in a situation where i have thought that i can and want to live without my meds. It almost got me killed.

This time its all different. I decided 5 months ago that i wont take any meds until i truly must. For my surprise it was much easier then i had thought. Most pain that arised was mental!

It is just tormenting your body if you dont really want to stop. After i started tapering i havent taken any drug to feel good, because i am afraid that if i do so my brain might learn back to old habits. Though i was in a intensive care unit few months ago and they injected oxy to me for 5 days, knowing my history (they said that ICU is not a place where people get tortured and that in home i can take what i want but in there they would give me what they thought i needed). When i got out of hospital they tried to give me injectable oxycodone to be taken at home. I asked if it would be possible to not give it to me but keep those in hospital where i could get an injection if needed. I have had severe pain but somehow i havent truly needed anything besides tramadol. Hopefully i can drop that too sometimes. Whitdrawing is not something to do in hurry! Best of luck! You can do it especially if you truly want to!! Keep in mind that eventually there is no more euphoria just keeping away from whitdrawals! At least for me...