Help Please

Areichert

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 22, 2014
Messages
2
I have visited this site for the longest time and always used it for information that is provided by others. I have never posted anything until now. I will keep this as short as possible but will provide enough details to allow you to know what's going on. I started using at the age of 18 which was in 2007 and I started out with Roxy 30s and OCs. For several months I only when I was going out but after time the usage escalated. From November 2007 to August 2009 was the time of my addiction of pain pills and cocaine. Like I said my usage escalated and so did my life of an addict. Went from being a good kid to, stealing from friends, family, and jobs to losing my job from stealing and just being a manipulative self centered asshole. At first it as all about feeling good and going out to waking up wondering what I was going to break in or steal next to get my next fix. I did things I would have never imagined doing. Finally after so many attempts from love ones to help me out, and short stay treatments I was faced with a choice. It was either living in the streets of a Tampa, Florida or moving to North Carolina to a two year substance program. I had no choice and went to the program. From Aug 2009 to around Nov 13 I was clean from opioids and cocaine. I completed the program, turned my life around and landed a job that turned I to a career. In November I was working out one day and hurt my back and didn't think anything of it. It ended up that I slipped a disc in my back which caused sciatic pain in my leg. Never dealt with so much pain in my life. It gave me an excuse to lose and with my years of being sober I thought I could handle it and I did at first but damn I knew I was playing with fire and it sure enough bit me in my ass. So pretty much from November till now I have been using Oxys and herion on and off. I'm snorting not shooting. There's time were I get off the shit and stay clean for a few weeks but then I go back to it. Now I'm still myself. I don't miss work, I haven't stolen, but damn man I know eventually if I keep using it will only get worse. I know the logical thing to do is just quit but as an current or ex addicts you guys can relate to know how now much you have in front of you but still come up with an excuse to use. I can't lie, I like being high but I know this shit has to stop before I start really fucking up my life. I have to much going in for me and I know this but I need help. I've done suboxone before back when I first started using but I didn't have any will to quit at the time. This time I do. So is suboxone a worthy option? As far as withdrawals go I'm not even worried about it. I can honestly get over it all in less then 4 days with it only being minor. I know suboxone is not just the answer to my problem. There's issues that I do need to address but the cravings are what sucks. I know once I get back being sober I can continue were I left off. I just know the way I'm heading is only going to lead me to disaster.
 
If you can stop using and have time to do a detox I would just do it from the smack rather than subutex personally. Just collect together a certain collection of meds (lofexidine, pregabalin, some sleep meds) to deal with the withdrawal and stop dead if you can.

I couldn't do that this time as I didn't have the time to batten down the hatches for a detox I needed to study so I went on bupe and then detoxed from that at a later date. The bupe was very good for keeping me stable and enabling me to get on with my life and the detox wasn't tooooo bad but if I could have just done it from the smack I would have prefered that.
 
Trust me me brother you want to get off that stuff ASAP. I'm only 25 and have been a heavy Norco/Tramadol/whatever I could for well over 2 years. Used every single day. Having scripts for the pain killers didn't help.

I just recently got clean. It's been about 10 days for me. I will say it is hard. I don't really crave the drugs but the depression that set in after the initial WD period is the worst. I know it's temporary and have to push through it. Especially for my family's sake.

Every day gets easier and the goal is to get back to the person I was before these drugs took a hold of my life.

Get out now. I wouldn't do suboxone or Methadone unless you simply can't stop yourself.

Any advice please feel free to message me or ask in this thread!

Best of luck!
 
Thanks for the reply guys. I can detox like I said and get through the WDs pretty easily but it's staying off is my problem. I understand the rules of recovery and the tools I need to apply and every time I apply the whole recovery process. It works for a little while but cravings are still there and yes mind over matter but damn it's tough right now. Tougher then it's ever been. I suggested suboxone to help stay clean for while and get my self adjusted to living a sober life again. Trust me I know what WDs and how much it fucking sucks! But If I do a suboxone program I'm willing to sacrifice a week of being miserable then slowly falling apart and loosing control of my life again.
 
Well, as far as suboxone goes I'll straight up admit I'm not sure if I'd ever have gotten clean or stayed as clean as I have if it wasn't for, well, various buprenorphine meds. I really just never felt right without some kind of an opiate in my system, and suboxone provides that along with a great deal more stability, not to mention that even if you get to lower doses (which I'd recommend. I'm not saying rush to stop, I'm just saying get down to maybe 1 mg at a time or less; not only are lower doses easier to jump off of if you have to, but they're also more satisfying due to reasons that are besides the point right now, but one would easily be able to find here on BL if they were interested) and the opiate blocking effect of the drug is fairly minor, it will still give you a bit of buffer time so that you aren't so inclined to act on impulses.

In the end there's very little harm in at least trying suboxone, as it's immensely helpful to many people and so long as you have a doctor to go along with it you can basically chill on it as long as you feel you have to until you feel like the right time to get off (or never do so for some people). I definitely vote yes for the trying suboxone thing if you're able. If it helps you then heck yeah, if it isn't your thing then whatever, just check that off your list and move on.
 
Since it's the cravings you're worried about, I would say sub will probably help you with those. I was also a heavy heroin addict for a while and trust me, I know that when ANYTHING comes up it can be used as an excuse to want to go get high. Sub will help you with that as it does eliminate a lot of the cravings, as well as a good bit of withdrawal symptoms. Another benefit I liked about sub was when I'm on it, even if I crave opiates, I'm not able to go do them because I'm on sub... it kind of stops you from going and getting something because if you were to do it while you're on sub it's not even going to work.
The best thing for me when I have cravings (which is why I'm telling it to you) is for me to imagine going to get the heroin, doing it, having a few minutes of euphoria... but picture the feeling you're going to have afterwards... the feeling EVERY addict knows after they undo their however many days of clean... it's not a good feeling, it's a "why the fuck did I do that?!!?" feeling. It works for me because I think of how far I've come, even if it's a few days, and don't want to undo that and start completely over.

Good luck, and if you ever need to talk to someone feel free to message me or add me on skype.
 
Maybe you need to go deeper this time. By that I mean go even deeper into why and how the oblivion of opiates hooks you in psychologically. Have you ever considered ibogaine treatment or anything of that nature? I think that very sensitive people are vulnerable to life in a way that feeds addiction but it is completely possible to transform that vulnerability into strength. The word spiritual has all sorts of religious connotations I wish it didn't have but I think that no addiction is ever overcome without going down to the level of the spirit. What does your spirit want and need that you are not getting? Usually it is simply peace. How do you find peace within yourself no matter what is happening externally? That is a place to start exploring. It may seem daunting but it is actually a very rewarding and exciting journey. You sound like you are very sincere in your desire to break the cycle. I wish you all the best.<3
 
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