Heroin I tried heroin but..

[sogno]

I tried heroin a week ago. Snorted a little bit and I liked it, but now here comes a huge problem: I'm thinking about it ever since. I don't want to start using it more often because let me be honest: I don't have any self control. I know this could go out of my controll very easily.
Do you have any advice about this? Do you think I did a big mistake? I'm also fighting depression and i'm using zoloft and lorazepam ( for sleeping). Sorry for my bad english. Thank you

 

[fukme]

Reading about you trying heroine makes me want to try it all the much more ...

 

[drewbocop]

Well, myself and MANY others around here are going to tell you DO NOT FUCKING DO IT AGAIN. It is one of the most slippery slopes there is and it always ends with pain and suffering for you and those around you. STAY AWAY if you feel like this after one small dose!

And believe me, it doesn't feel great forever. Before long you'll be using just so you're not deathly ill. You could OD with no self-control. You could have to go to rehab. You could go to prison. You could ruin your family's lives.

Choice is up to you, but I'd avoid it like the plague. Just speaking from experience. There is much beauty in life without opiates, get high on that and work on your depression. Because opiates will only dig that hole deeper many times over.

 

[The Doc.]

This is why all us heroin addicts tell people never to try it once. That mental state of wanting heroin will be there a long time even after one try that's just how good it feels. I remember my first opiate I felt like superman like I could do anything I wanted but also calm content and happy with where I was at that exact moment. I knew right away I was in for a world of shit and I was right almost 10 years later im still chasing this high to the gates of insanity, Suboxone saved me for now but it only covers up the sickness that lies within me a sickness I will carry around with me till the day I die because In my opinion once an addict always an addict is a true saying.

What I recommend while its not too late for you, is trying to find things in life that excite you besides drugs (especially heroin) once you've done it a few times in a row 9 times out of 10 your gonna become addicted and once the physical part comes not just the mental then you are screwed cause the physical withdrawal from heroin is brutal , unrelenting, and unimaginably cruel those are the only words I can think of to describe opiate withdrawal specifically heroin.
Please try to find a girlfriend/boyfriend whatever your into and start doing fun things you enjoy without drugs. Do you have any dreams or hope for the future? I'm sure you must have something you want to do in life besides heroin cause heroin won't lead you anywhere besides the worst lifestyle a person could possibly lead with no dreams for the future, a damaged body, lonely, miserable, and most of all no zest for life. Don't throw your life away stay away from heroin it turns you into a complete loser nobody wants to be around I've seen so many good hard working people who have lots of self control fall victim to heroin, its like a god dam plague the way it spreads from person to person slowly taking them out from the inside out.

I've sufferd a lot of hurt from heroin my friend I've fucked up my kidneys, given myself blood poisoning, my liver is almost shot in my early 20s, all my medical problems are exacerbated more than ever , every relationship I've had has been destroyed , I'm miserable, I'm alone, I'm in pain and its made me a harder person I would say not for the better either. I spend my life knowing I'll always be a lowlife heroin junkie knowing no matter how far I run I can never escape this demon so I stay right where I am and wait hoping I just make it through another day heroin free.

 

[Cliffy78]

^the truth

 

[tacodude]

The only thing to remember is even though it will leave you feeling good you'll feel worse afterwords only even after one time.

 

[Beavesmx44]

^^^^^^ that's what I used to say. Will make you feel the best ever and subsequently the worst ever. You want it bad while not addicted imagine when your vomiting and shitting all the time when you can't get it. Find a new class of drugs. Opiates are not a solution for depressed compulsive individuals.

 

[HiManImDan]

Stay away from heroin!
It's not a party drug, it just ruins lives....

 

[ShaunG]

This is why all us heroin addicts tell people never to try it once. That mental state of wanting heroin will be there a long time even after one try that's just how good it feels. I remember my first opiate I felt like superman like I could do anything I wanted but also calm content and happy with where I was at that exact moment. I knew right away I was in for a world of shit and I was right almost 10 years later im still chasing this high to the gates of insanity, Suboxone saved me for now but it only covers up the sickness that lies within me a sickness I will carry around with me till the day I die because In my opinion once an addict always an addict is a true saying.

What I recommend while its not too late for you, is trying to find things in life that excite you besides drugs (especially heroin) once you've done it a few times in a row 9 times out of 10 your gonna become addicted and once the physical part comes not just the mental then you are screwed cause the physical withdrawal from heroin is brutal , unrelenting, and unimaginably cruel those are the only words I can think of to describe opiate withdrawal specifically heroin.
Please try to find a girlfriend/boyfriend whatever your into and start doing fun things you enjoy without drugs. Do you have any dreams or hope for the future? I'm sure you must have something you want to do in life besides heroin cause heroin won't lead you anywhere besides the worst lifestyle a person could possibly lead with no dreams for the future, a damaged body, lonely, miserable, and most of all no zest for life. Don't throw your life away stay away from heroin it turns you into a complete loser nobody wants to be around I've seen so many good hard working people who have lots of self control fall victim to heroin, its like a god dam plague the way it spreads from person to person slowly taking them out from the inside out.

I've sufferd a lot of hurt from heroin my friend I've fucked up my kidneys, given myself blood poisoning, my liver is almost shot in my early 20s, all my medical problems are exacerbated more than ever , every relationship I've had has been destroyed , I'm miserable, I'm alone, I'm in pain and its made me a harder person I would say not for the better either. I spend my life knowing I'll always be a lowlife heroin junkie knowing no matter how far I run I can never escape this demon so I stay right where I am and wait hoping I just make it through another day heroin free.

Well said except the part where you said you will always be a low life junky. You can still do things in life to not be a "low life junky". In fact your post may have just saved someone else. It disappoints me that you can speak these words but not see any good in yourself as well. If you change a few lives even from posting your bad experience and you stay off the junk and try to work towards a goal in your own life, I would not call you a low life my friend. Head up and try to focus on something you want buddy. You might have an itch your entire life, but you don't need to be a low life junky for the rest of your life, maybe just an addict. Actions speak volume.

 

[The Doc.]

Yea I know man but I find it hard to believe I can truly change you know what I mean. I'm on Suboxone but now I just use that as my opiate of choice and I am still the same person I've taken some courses on the side to become a drug and alcohol counsler to help addicts but I don't know if I'll even be any good at that if and I don't know if I'll ever be able to truly change. I would like to go to medical school but gotta have the money im currently contesting my rich father's will in court to get some of his riches so maybe I'll do schooling with that it's better than doing drugs with it. The medical field has always fascinated me so it would be cool to be able to lean more and maybe one day be a doctor or something mabye I just need more dreams like that to keep me away from these bad thoughts.
I don't believe people change they just become more of who they really are and I seen that first hand with my dad and am scared to end up like him dying alone with no loved ones. I don't know counseling hasn't done much for me and my self esteem so I'm starting to think maybe there's no point to it. Its seems the counslers talk to the damaged person draw out their suffering a long time then they tell themselves their making a difference by doing so and feel good about themselves when they go home from work. I don't know I just think once an addict always an addict is true due to the fact we have no cure for addiction.

 

[Cliffy78]

We do what we gotta do to make it bearable I think. You got a shot at a future bro, that's something to look forward to at least...
I know though, I know man...

 

[TheLostBoys]

I've never used heroin so I don't know how you feel about it but I would say that since you're suffering from depression, the heroin I'm.assuming put you in the "perfect spot" & took you away from the depression which is why you are thinking about it all the time.......what heroin did is make you feel happiness without a care in the world versus the depression & anything else negative you were feeling before the use.

I have taken opiates & they tend to make you feel great at times, especially when you are feeling down & out. Opiates are the magic cure for the here & now moment.......but they can kick you in the butt when they stop working for the purpose you started taking them for & if that happens, you ate in a worse situation than when you started if you let it get out of control.

Very very few people have control to take opiates for depression.......if you ate taking opiates for depression, please use a milder opiate. I consider heroin the end of the line of opiates because eventually you hot the needle, & the needle is one place you don't want yo be.

 

[sekio]

Just realize that taking heroin is just a band aid. It makes you feel better but it doesn't fix any of the problems that make you feel bad in the first place.

 

[Lone Deranger]

This is why all us heroin addicts tell people never to try it once. That mental state of wanting heroin will be there a long time even after one try that's just how good it feels. I remember my first opiate I felt like superman like I could do anything I wanted but also calm content and happy with where I was at that exact moment. I knew right away I was in for a world of shit and I was right almost 10 years later im still chasing this high to the gates of insanity, Suboxone saved me for now but it only covers up the sickness that lies within me a sickness I will carry around with me till the day I die because In my opinion once an addict always an addict is a true saying.

What I recommend while its not too late for you, is trying to find things in life that excite you besides drugs (especially heroin) once you've done it a few times in a row 9 times out of 10 your gonna become addicted and once the physical part comes not just the mental then you are screwed cause the physical withdrawal from heroin is brutal , unrelenting, and unimaginably cruel those are the only words I can think of to describe opiate withdrawal specifically heroin.
Please try to find a girlfriend/boyfriend whatever your into and start doing fun things you enjoy without drugs. Do you have any dreams or hope for the future? I'm sure you must have something you want to do in life besides heroin cause heroin won't lead you anywhere besides the worst lifestyle a person could possibly lead with no dreams for the future, a damaged body, lonely, miserable, and most of all no zest for life. Don't throw your life away stay away from heroin it turns you into a complete loser nobody wants to be around I've seen so many good hard working people who have lots of self control fall victim to heroin, its like a god dam plague the way it spreads from person to person slowly taking them out from the inside out.

I've sufferd a lot of hurt from heroin my friend I've fucked up my kidneys, given myself blood poisoning, my liver is almost shot in my early 20s, all my medical problems are exacerbated more than ever , every relationship I've had has been destroyed , I'm miserable, I'm alone, I'm in pain and its made me a harder person I would say not for the better either. I spend my life knowing I'll always be a lowlife heroin junkie knowing no matter how far I run I can never escape this demon so I stay right where I am and wait hoping I just make it through another day heroin free.

Listen carefully to the advice of trainspotter10102; i subscribe every word, except his own perception of himself has a "lowlife heroin junkie". I see trainspotter10102 has a good person who unfortunately has a disease called addiction. His post are the proof of that.

To trainspotter10102: i wish you all the best mate, i truly hope you can find a better path for yourself.

To Sogno: leave Heroin alone, try to achieve ways that get you stoned with reality.

Love and light,
Lone Deranger

 

[The Doc.]

Thanks lone Deranger its good to hear some people have faith in me even if I don't have a while lot in myself.
For right now I haven't touched heroin since January so that I'm happy about its the longest time without full agonists for me in close to a decade. But I'm on Suboxone and I smoke hash still so I can never say I'm clean well I can't bring myself to say that till I am clean from all substances for fear of looking like a hippocrite. It just seems nothing has changed besides the fact that I have money now since Suboxone is a much cheaper high compared to heroin but like the saying goes nothing changes if nothing changes. I suppose I should just be happy im not putting myself in bad situations from heroin or having to sell drugs to keep getting high I guess if it wasn't for sub's I would most likely be in jail or dead. Using with my sub script was too easy and a very hard cycle to break I've seen many people who just can't stabilise on Suboxone and go back to heroin just as soon as the sub starts making them feel well again all because heorin has this hold over them telling them they don't want Suboxone that they need heroin instead.
Its just my beliefs I've had due to my life of being let down and of instability is why I think the way I do I suppose its just the drugs telling me I can't do it but I've just seen so many people who for years have been unsuccessful in quiting drugs they go to detox come out relapse go back and repeat. The nurses at detox say they have only seen a handful of success stories in their decade long or more careers and they say it tires them and saddens them to see so many people just can't get on the right track and spend decades going in and out of detox only to fail everytime.

But thanks for the encouragment I hope to one day beat opiates but it's gonna be a long rough fucking battle I tell you. But this is the life I chose so now I got to play these cards

 

[mkd]

I've never come across the stuff myself, but from everything I've ever read, you'll never get the same feeling as the first time and you'll regret having ever tried.

Trainspotter has lived the life and lived with the pain, you should listen to him.

 

[ThaDudeAbides]

First off, you're on a benzo, so using opiates shouldn't even be an option. Same goes with alcohol. All 3 are central nervous system depressants. Just needed to warn you because even doctors make this mistake and script people opiates and benzos at the same time.

I agree with pretty much what everyone said. I do want to share my perspective I've gained through my own mistakes though...

I live alone. I used have a very active life that involved a lot of real life friends (one being a girl). At one point in my life I jumped on the H train and friends started to disappear. Some because they didn't agree with what I was doing and others...well they died. There is no winning with H.

I've gone through sub treatment and still dabble with opiates. It's a vicious cycle.

I also suffer from depression. Like suggested by others I'm trying to expand my interests beyond using drugs. It's not easy. All I know is heroin is not the solution.

Lastly, I NEVER thought I'd become a heroin addict, let alone ever touch the stuff. Famous last words. Get out while you still can.

 

[Screaming_Skull]

Okay, if you did a small amount and have been thinking about it ever since, the the obvious answer is no you shouldn't do it. But, you probly are going to start chipping and tell yourself you have it under control, and might for a while but it will soon backfire on you. The using the "just on the weekends" will turn into "it's the middle of the week, might as well get some" and so on and so on, it might take a sec but you will get a habbit that will ruin your bank account and relationships..and you only snorted it, eventully you will IV it and then thats when shit's really gonna hit the fan for ya, cuz your gonna be like "im saving so much by doing this" it will raise your tolerace and eventually you will be spending more...Now this was my experience w/ opiates...I started off on Hydrocodone 10's(40mg at a time) when I was 18...Then made a huge leap for price reasons and started getting 40mg Methadone Wafers for the weekend... I'm sure my post is still on here from way back when I was asking about Methadone, and people telling me not to..but didn't listen, and 8 years later I'm on Suboxone, still struggling with relasping...It's all up to you, BUT IMO if thats all you are thinking about after doing a small amount, then stay the fuck away, because that sounds like me when I first started..All week I would just look forward to the weekend when I would get my Hydro's or Methadone(damn that was such a jump!! 40mg of hydro every now & then to two 40mg Methadone Wafers, dosed 30mg twice on the weekend, and 20mg in the middle of the week...just stay away..or if you are going to do opiates anyway, I would reccomend looking into some weaker ones besides Heroin...

 

[TheLostBoys]

Just realize that taking heroin is just a band aid. It makes you feel better but it doesn't fix any of the problems that make you feel bad in the first place.

That's with any drug people take trying to mask their problems........the most common drug & socially acceptable is alcohol & people use it for forgetting their problems. Thing is, like you stated, no matter what you ingest to try to mask your problems, those problems will be there when you sober up & the thing is, those problems feel worse psychologically.

 

[adder]

I think that opioids may be a great psychoactive tool, but definitely not when you're suffering inside like from depression or when you don't have self-control. Honestly speaking, it's much easier to gain control over yourself than most people think. They key is concentration on the inside and killing everything from the outside for a moment. Most probably it's because our cultures and religions try so hard to control us that we're forgetting that it's much more important for us to understand ourselves first and then try fitting anywhere if at all. We are all people and that's the only thing we really need to fit.