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Using stimulants and masturbating, in sessions of an almost eternity-esque sense (..)

D

DruggieWanker

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 29, 2014
Messages
1
Hola bluelighters,

Been lurking around the forums for a good 9-10 years, and enjoyed the readings very much.

Well, title field was too short for the fancy title, but it'l have to do.

The situation is as follows:
30yo single male, holds an ordinary job (which I enjoy very much), nice flat, scribble scrabble, et cetera, and so on and so forth, point is I'm quite an average boring person.

Except one little thing. From time to time, for the past 10 yrs or so, I'll make sure I have no obligations for the weekend, and then binge on a stimulant, could be mephedrone, could be amphetamine, could be MDMA, could be ethylphenidate (only one of them though).

I'll start friday after work and fitness, by changing the bed sheets, change to my DrugWankSuit(tm), consisting of a pair of very tight under-sized swim trunks, a pair of shorts on top of 'em, and a loose t-shirt. No, well, actually it starts a few days before friday. In the week leading up to it, I make sure to have adequate amounts of condoms, lube and various sex-toys, and check that there is food in the fridge for the weekend. The more the merrier!
Anyways, back to friday, I get my porn-laptop and plug it in the living-room tv screen, and turn on the blinds (which is a must, since, apparently, neighbours aren't necessary enjoying the sight). Also, I connect my wireless headphones to the computer, and do a test of an innocent sound, to check if it works (you only forget to check that once, the cocktail of neighbours and extremely loud porn noises appears to not be a good one).

Then I turn on my playlist of my favourite porn clips, set it on repeat & random, get comfy, take the drug in a glass of milk, and going to town on the sex-toys like there's no tomorrow. In between I have some breaks in which I drink water, do more drugs, have some snacks, and find some new vids to the playlist). It goes on like this until sunday afternoon (i sleep from friday to saturday), at which time I'll clean up, having cummed a somewhat high number of times, and anticipate the next wank-a-weekend, usually in a month or so. My workdays are rotating on a monthly basis, so I might have to go to work Tuesday, or I might not have to until Thursday. Mondays are, however, always off-limits (for reasons of company logistics), so I use the Monday to get over the (minimal, I have to say) comedown.

I realise it's probably strange, OCD-ish and whatnot, however, it's not interfering with my work or social life, so I've accepted the behaviour as benign. For the record, I don't do drugs on other occasions.

As you're probably aware, today is Sunday, so the drug (which this time was ethylphenidate) is partly responsible for this being such a long post.

Actually, my question is quite simple: Am I the only one having such a blast with stims and jacking off?
And if so, I'd luv to hear your takes on it.
 
used to do this, it gives you problems though because its so disconnected and pure hedonistic.

the lack of love becomes so very empty after a while, also ethylphenidate is shitty and very caustic. amp is prob less rank on the body
 
It seems logical that this kind of behavior would condition you to want to abuse stimulants and masturbate to the extent that you both become desensitized to some degree/time period, and are unlikely to be able to reach the same degree of hedonism while sober with a partner.

If that doesn't bother you, it isn't a problem. However, it is something to consider.
 
If you don't have like 50 tabs of weird gross things open you're not doing it right.
 
I can recall doing this a couple times when I was in my teens (in a very similar fashion - it felt extraordinarily obsessive & compulsive), but I never ritualized it to the extent you have. It was under the influence of vyvanse & adderall when I engaged in that activity. It typically just started by watching porn & then evolved into something which I put all my effort & energy into. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I don't look back fondly at it.
 
i like jacking off on stimulants too, always seems to happen even though i don't go in thinking "i'm gonna take some meth and masturbate"
 
I think most stim users have had weekends, days like this (I know I have :)). If its not interfering with your work etc why not ? The thing that I took from your post, you say your boring but crave stimulation at the weekend (for you this has turned purely sexual) - can you not focus this towards going out and interacting with other people etc?

Happy wanking :)
 
Bearlove said:
I think most stim users have had weekends, days like this (I know I have :)). If its not interfering with your work etc why not ? The thing that I took from your post, you say your boring but crave stimulation at the weekend (for you this has turned purely sexual) - can you not focus this towards going out and interacting with other people etc?

Happy wanking :)
Click to expand...

This.

But i would recommend maybe a prostitute once in a while :D
 
TheGrasshopper said:
This.

But i would recommend maybe a prostitute once in a while :D
Click to expand...

dangerous path even to entertain the thought.. did I it once, was not as enjoyable of course because I was too focused on trying to keep myself up and finish. As you know stimulants can be distracting... but now even though I don't call I fucking spent two hours opening another 50 backpages .com/escort.fml tabs on the tablet lol, I know I won't because I can't afford it and I have that much Reserve at least but now its distracting me from fap itself hahaha
 
DruggieWanker said:
Am I the only one having such a blast with stims and jacking off?
And if so, I'd luv to hear your takes on it.
Click to expand...

no, my ritual is different but same behavior to the T lol. I don't know if it's affected my social life because I have a little less of it now that I'm getting older I do find that prior to resorting to for masterbating I've been getting desperately lonely, scouting services like OkCupid that focus more on connection than quick validation like Tinder (or escorts, sigh) ..but that may have normal causes like ex gf drama, friends moving out of town, etc. I've been holding out sexually for this girl but I can definitely feel the urges for relief starting to cause doubt.

Eh , at least Media Center is super optimized for viewing tagging clipping and otherwise needlessly organizing 2 terabyte collection of videos (proud)
 
I think the secret of this is to have some balance, couple of weekends locked up wanking yourself crazy and a couple of weekends out socializing.
 
Always been a big fan of the wanking that inevitably (for me, anyway) comes with the meth use. I do miss the layer (or two, depending how twacked I was) of dickskin that had been rubbed off while jackin'.
 
It's a shame that with this ritual, you can't get off on the same clip twice. You got to keep downloading and downloading new and fresh ones you haven't seen before. The effect on the internet quota can be super shocking, especially if you treat yourself to this kind of thing more than once a month. I speak from experience lmao! :D
 
drancer said:
It's a shame that with this ritual, you can't get off on the same clip twice. You got to keep downloading and downloading new and fresh ones you haven't seen before. The effect on the internet quota can be super shocking, especially if you treat yourself to this kind of thing more than once a month. I speak from experience lmao! :D
Click to expand...

For some people the porn can be the same stuff, the same movies turn into part of the ritual. I find it strange when your finished your wankathon and real life starts to filter its way in - your mind is still in porn mode, depending on what substances your on you may even still be able to hear the porn after its switched off 8( and then theres the almost expecting people about you to start fucking for your enjoyment.
 
Hey bluelighters, this is my first post. It's really long but I hope it's interesting. I hope you guys enjoy it.

Last year on August 1st at 11:30 pm I found myself in Phnom Penh airport. I had just arrived on a flight from Guangzhou after spending the two previous years teaching English in China non stop and I was more than ready for a nice long vacation. After getting my visa on arrival I made my way to the bathroom with my luggage and found an empty stall. In the stall I took out a thick envelope from my suitcase and put it in a money belt I made out of a pair of ladies nylons. Then I pulled down my pants and strapped it around my right thigh. I had about $6,000 USD inside the envelope. After pulling up my pants I walked out of the airport and got in a taxi. My mission was to find the cheapest hotel for the night and go to sleep. The driver told me that the cheapest hotel in the city would be about $15 a night which was not what I wanted to hear. I had done some research and knew I could probably find something much cheaper but I was more than tired so I told him to take me to the hotel. Sure enough it was $15 for the night. Couldn't talk it down. After taking my luggage up I plopped down on the bed and passed out. The next day I woke up around noon and took a cold shower. The place didn't have hot water. After getting dressed I took a $100 bill out of my money belt that was now well hidden in my suitcase, put it in my wallet, and set off to find a cheaper place to stay. As soon as I came out of the hotel there were about 12 tuk-tuks that immediately tried flagging me down all at once. I hopped in one and told the driver to take me to the riverfront since I heard that's where all the foreigners like to congregate. When we got there I had him pull up to a restaurant that looked like a great place to eat at and get some info. After eating a traditional Khmer dish I ordered a large glass of Angkor beer, lit a cigarette, and started a conversation with another solo white guy who was sitting at the table next to mine enjoying a few beers himself. He was an extremely friendly 30 something Hungarian dude that claimed to have fought in Kosovo. He said he'd been in Cambodia for quite a few years already doing everything from teaching English to owning a bar. He said he'd even bough some land in the provinces and was planning on farming later on. It was obvious he'd been in the country for quite a while. People who've been off the rails in Cambodia for a long time have a certain unmistakable look about them. Later I would find out that the guy was a pro con artist who'd overstayed his visa for more than 3 years. He made his living by scamming people and there were a lot of shady people in Sihanoukville that were looking to kill him. Luckily he never tried to scam me or anything. He just directed me to an area of the city where I could find a nice private room for $6 a night. I would never see him again after that. After chatting with him I finished my beer and hopped in a tuk-tuk telling the driver to take me to the street my Hungarian friend had just told me about. After shopping around for a guesthouse with a decent room I found a place for $7 a night. That would do. I stayed one more night in the hotel I was already staying in since it was after 12:00 pm and I would have to pay another $15 anyway. The next day I got up early and set off to my new room. After that it would be time for the fun to begin. I originally planned to party in Cambodia for maybe six months before getting another job teaching English either there in Cambodia or in Vietnam. Cambodia is very cheap and a little money there goes a long way. One of the things that excited me the most about Cambodia was the availability of good drugs for cheap. Like I said I did my homework before making the trip. During my two years in China the only drug I'd done was Uyghur hash. It gets the job done but can't compare to anything I used to smoke back in the States. I wasn't interested in smoking any weed anymore though. Back when I lived in the U.S. used to do my fair share of drugs. Besides weed I'd tried heroin, ecstasy, cocaine, and shrooms. What I remember liking the most was cocaine. I guess I'm just an upper kind of guy. After living in such a strict country as China for two years I was ready to do some real drugs. I really wanted to get my hands on some coke but I'd read all the horror stories online about foreigners in Cambodia buying what they thought was coke and dying after snorting too much because it was really heroin. You'd think they'd rub a little on their gums fist. Anyway, I knew getting my hands on some real coke would be a bit of a challenge but I also new that crystal meth was BIG in Cambodia. I figured coke and meth were probably a similar high. I knew that the high from meth lasts a hell of a lot longer than coke does so that could only be a good thing since saving money and extending my vacation as long possible was my biggest priority besides getting really fucked up every day. So after getting settled into my new cozy little room I set out to find some meth. I took a walk from my room back down toward the river front close to the area where I was talking with that Hungarian guy the day before. My plan was to ask a shady tuk-tuk driver for some meth but I didn't know how to go about it. I was more than nervous. As I got closer to the riverfront some of the tuk-tuk drivers were asking me if I wanted "ganja". I just ignored them and kept walking. One driver asked if I wanted ganja and I looked at him then said no. As I was walking away he yelled out "Opium". I ignored him and kept walking. Then he yelled "ice". I immediately turned a 180. "How much?" I asked him. Back then I was no pro and wouldn't even have known if I was getting ripped off. He said what sounded like "eighteen a bag" so I said "OK" and hopped in his tuk-tuk. He took me to a temple and told me to go explore the temple and come back in 10 minutes when he would have it. After about 20 minutes I came back and he handed me a cigarette pack. I looked into the pack and sure enough there was a little baggie inside it of what appeared to be crystal meth. I thanked him and handed him $18. Then he told me he had said "eighty" not eighteen. They do this kind of thing a lot in Cambodia. I argued with him a bit and then showed him the contents of my wallet. I only had $45. I told him I could give him $40 for the bag and $5 for the ride. To my very good luck he reluctantly agreed. Later, after becoming more pro, I would find out that it was exactly what I should have payed for for that amount since it was a tiny bit short of a $50 bag. After he dropped me off a couple blocks from the guesthouse where I was now staying I quickly went back to my room. I was so excited to that I was about to do some real drugs again. Like I said I was nowhere near pro at this stage so I crushed up and snorted a super tiny line for fear of overdose. Even with that small amount I started feeling really buzzed after about 10 minutes. It was like I'd taken a whole lot of Adderall or something. That night I didn't go to sleep at all even though I didn't snort anymore of it. I just stayed up on my laptop watching youtube vids. After about 8:00 am I laid down and tried to go to sleep. I just laid there in misery for hours sweating balls. I was finally able to sleep for maybe an hour at the most then I woke up at around 3:00 pm laying in a pool of sweat and thirsty as hell. One thing I immediately noticed was how weird my sweat smelled. I went to the communal bathroom to take a shower and covered myself in tiger balm to mask the smell that I couldn't seem to wash off. Then I went out and forced myself to eat before going to a bar. At the bar I was still coming down crashing. I started drinking a lot of beer and flirting with some of the girls that worked there. It was so embarrassing because the beer made me have to piss a lot. By the end of the night I was running to the bathroom every 10 minutes because whenever I tried to piss I couldn't get it all out and I would have to concentrate for about 5 minutes to even get my dick to start dribbling. Finally when I was drunk enough that I thought I could sleep I went back to my room. Thankfully I was able to sleep. The next day I vowed that I would finish the rest of the bag, however long that would take, then never touch meth again. The crash was too harsh as far as I was concerned. I would relax that day and start finishing the bag the next day. After getting something to eat I decided to go find a hooker so I did. After having some really good sex I went home, played on the computer for a bit, then went to bed. The next day after waking up I went to a cafe and gorged on some western food. I wanted to have something in my stomach since I knew I'd be doing meth again later on. After getting full I bought two huge water jugs and some cigarettes then went back to my room. I pulled the mirror that was in my room off the wall then chopped up a pretty good sized line and snorted it. It hurt like hell this time. After about 15 minutes I was feeling a high like I'd never felt in my life before. I was on top of the world. I started looking watching all kinds of youtube vids and before I knew it I realized I was really horny. I mean REALLY REALLY HORNY! I ended up looking at porn of course and I noticed that even though I couldn't get it up jacking off was more pleasurable right then than the best sex I'd ever had in my life. For the next 14 hours I was jacking off to one video. It was the perfect video. I remember thinking that if I could feel like this for the rest of my life it would be the perfect life. I was up for 3 more days beating off and periodically snorting more meth. After I was out of it I crashed and actually slept very comfortably. The crash wasn't bad the second time because I had been up so long and was able to fall asleep pretty quickly. After sleeping for about 20 hours I got up, took a piss, drank some water, then immediately passed out again for about 10 more hours. When I woke up I was probably more hungry than I'd ever been in my whole life. So I took a shower, covered myself in more tiger balm, then went and ate enough food to feed 3 burly construction workers. After I was full I wanted some more meth. I found a different dealer almost immediately and got a $50 bag from him. He was pretty straight and showed me how to taste it to see if it was good. He also told me what prices I should be paying for the different amounts. After that I went back to my room I began another round of jacking off and snorting meth for 3 days. That's what I did for the rest of the month. On September 1st I decided to go to Vietnam. I spent the whole month there traveling to different cities on trains and buses but eventually went back to Phnom Penh. Not 30 minutes after getting back to PP I was back in the same room at the same guest house with $100 worth of meth in my hand. The next morning I took a break from my masturbation session and decided that I wanted to try smoking the ice in conjunction with snorting it. So I found a tuk-tuk driver who took me to a local glass blower who made me a good meth pipe. After getting back to my room I snorted a fat line, then watched a few youtube vids of people smoking meth, then tried it myself. The initial rush was great. I took three hits and started beating off like a madman. After a while I needed more and more"interesting" porn to achieve the same level of pleasure. It got really "interesting" too. I started watching brutal porn, snuff porn, old lady porn, Japanese toilette porn, and anything else you can think of besides gay porn. I would usually binge for 3-4 days while masturbating, crash for 20-30 hours, wake up, eat a HUGE meal, score, and repeat the process all over again. That routine lasted for three more months. After a while with my tolerance going up I would be able to eat some food while I was on my binge but toward the end I had still lost a lot of weight. The masturbation was getting more and more difficult too. I would get high and start to beat off but then any noise I heard would set me off in a rage because I couldn't concentrate. There was this stray cat that would roam around inside the guesthouse. Some asshole decided to put a collar with a bell on it and whenever it would come near my door it would drive me absolutely crazy. I would have to stop beating my meat and try to scare the cat away. Sometimes I would spend up to 6 hours standing still outside my door trying to either kill the cat or catch it and take the damn bell off it. The cleaning ladies would always drive me nuts too whenever they did their morning routine. They were always loud and giggly. Sometimes I would yell something like "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID CUNTS!" whenever I'd hear them lol. I'm not usually like that at all but meth is known for turning people into monsters. Eventually I started stuffing 3 cigarettes butts in each ear to keep out the noise. One time I didn't have any cigarettes butts left so I rammed peanut butter down my ear lobes with Q-tips. Man I had some good times lol. Anyway, all in all I spent four good months in Phnom Penh tweaking and beating off. In the end I had no money left. Just $8. Only enough for a tuk-tuk ride to the airport. My grandmother bought me a ticket back to the states. I told her everything except the part about masturbating like crazy lol. She was very understanding. Now I'm back in China teaching English. My contract will be up in April and I can't stop myself from going you know where to do you know what in April. This time though I'll have three times as much money with me and I'll be freelancing too. I'll try not to have too much fun.
 
wow.. what the fuck that has to be the longest paragraph I have ever seen
 
To reply to the original post, I also partake in a amp/porn/masturbation marathon from time to time. Btw, i am a 25 year old female living with my fiance. The amps make me horny as hell! I can also relate to what drancer said. It has to be a new clip. Half the time is spent finding the right video, 1/4 is building up to the climax and the last quarter is seeing how many times I can get off. I use it as "me" time, and it doesn't affect my relationship or my social life. As long as it isn't hurting you or others, there is nothing wrong with it. Basically, you are not alone! Today was one of my "me" days. Which is why with a combination of my bipolar mania, and ADHD meds, I'm typing a long post at 3am. Lol well enjoy your next session!
 
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