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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Xorkoth

Ibogaine (flood dose) - First Time - Into The Flood

Yeah I noticed that about here vs Erowid.

I'm doing great, I haven't had a dream about getting high on opiates in probably 2 months, I did have a few for a month afterwards, but I woke up feeling even stronger about not using them because the shame I felt in the dreams was so intense. I never think about using opiates, every so often I will talk about them with people and I remember those times, even fondly remember my early times, but it doesn't trigger me to want to use them. Totally uninterested in that lifestyle, it just seems stupid. No interest in trying to use them "just once" or responsibly either, as I know I can't, and even if I could now, it's not worth it to me to find out. Plus I really enjoy the mental clarity and energy I have, and I feel better at any given moment than I ever did once I got addicted to opiates, even when I was on opiates.

I've been tripping quite a bit this summer but it's because I feel like I have been reborn and I've been doing a lot of awesome things like exploring rivers and waterfalls, going to shows, hanging out with my friends, meeting women and people in general, etc (I trip for the nature exploration and shows, not for meeting women =D). I have been drinking a lot more than usual but it affects me well again now that I'm not on opiates, and I just do it with my friends (who are generally pretty big drinkers compared to me). I've been over at friends' houses probably 4 out of 7 days every week so it comes up a lot. I actually detected a bit of weirdness after I got drunk 4 nights in a row, after drinking each weekend for a while so I'm taking a break from that for now and I feel fine and don't want to do it. I did experience 2 days of feeling weird and anxious though before I felt fine again, but there were also other factors so it's hard to say what it was. Probably a combination of too much alcohol, lack of sleep, and fretting about whether this girl I really like is into me. But I can see the potential for a problem so I'm cutting way back on the drinking, but I do like to do it socially so I'll continue to do that periodically, just not every time I socialize. I've actually been smoking a lot less weed. No other drugs besides psychedelics, alcohol and weed, and some tobacco.

I have gained a LOT of weight (which is good for me as I was emaciated post-opiates/post-ibogaine). I weighed 130 then and I'm 6 feet tall, slightly above but less than 6'1". I'm up to ~162 now, muscle at this point. I've been working out ever since ibogaine, 5 days a week. I got up to 145 from eating and putting body fat back on pretty quickly and the rest has been muscle gain. I'm also eating really well, cooking almost all my food using lots of good fruits and vegetables and quality meats (and eggs). My mental state is better than it's been, ever. As a kid I was very happy but also very unsure of myself and scared a lot. Now I know who I am, I'm confident, and I'm almost always actively happy. Like I said, I feel reborn, like I crawled out of this dark hole and regained myself.

Ibogaine <3
 
Great! Sounds like you've not only slipped the noose of opioid addiction, but you've become a happier more fulfilled person (like I crawled out of this dark hole and regained myself)! Xorkoth, you should be extremely proud of yourself! Congrats my friend!

So you never really experienced anything that you could describe as similar to PAWS? From reading everything you've written post-ibogaine, it sure seems like you dodged that bullet for sure. It's just shocking how complete your recovery from dependency and addiction is, like ibogaine was almost an off on switch for addiction, rather than a very sturdy crutch. Though I have a feeling in a less determined person there would still be a bit of psychological struggling going on, what do you think?
 
I think it's a combination of factors. First, it's true I didn't experience PAWS. I started feeling good right away even though due to my slip-ups right afterwards I was feeling a bit of minor lingering withdrawal from kratom for about a week. Despite that, my mental state was very positive and happy. And once the lingering minor withdrawals faded, I felt amazing and still do. I do feel like a switch was flipped off, and I credit that largely to the ibogaine. However the other factor is that I had just ended my relationship and no longer am living with her. That had happened almost 3 months before ibogaine, but the lack of that confining and toxic situation is another reason it's so easy for me to not do opiates. I realized that a big part of the reason it had gotten so bad was because I was masking the pain with opiates. Now that that pain is removed, I have nothing I need to mask.
 
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There's no telling how many people your experience and description in such great detail will change so many lives. You've given me so much hope after so many failed attempts. As soon as my body is ready Ill be going down the same road and share my experience as well.
 
Thanks dude, I hope so, that was my hope for this. :) The whole thing was a labor of love. If even one person benefits half as much as I have, I will consider this story a success.
 
ebola? said:
Well, in the past, substances have not been scheduled if most people don't find them fun. This is a large part of why salvia was never scheduled. Ibogaine has a reputation for being unpleasant, but I wonder if this is because many people who take it are in w/d or otherwise dealing with emotional crisis due to addiction, and also many who aren't interested in psychedelia...

ebola
Click to expand...

I was re-reading this thread and I have another answer to this question now. I believe it is a mistake that ibogaine practitioners seem to have a dogma of "use HCl only for addiction/medical treatment". I took a substantial portion of my dose (well less than half though) with the TA (total alkaloid) extract, and I believe it made all the difference in the effects I experienced. A friend of ours on here has done it twice for addiction, the first time with TA where he had a beautiful, peaceful, loving, immersive experience, and the second time with just HCl where he had a jarring, physically unpleasant, scattered and taxing experience. There are other major alkaloids in iboga which include a powerful dissociative. I believe these other alkaloids make a tremendous difference in effects, and that they calm out the rough stimulation of ibogaine HCl and make the experience more cohesive and immersive and just overall comfortable. I think they are essential to the whole experience of the plant, I think that only makes sense. It makes no sense to me to restrict the medical use of it to the isolated major alkaloid ibogaine, even if it ends up providing most of the effects, especially when ibogaine HCl appears to be somewhat physically unsafe at those dosage levels. Alkaloids in plants synergize with one another and often produce an effect unique to any of the individual compounds that make it up... I think this is what's happening with iboga.

In my experience, with the TA, I didn't experience a significant heart rate or BP increase. I felt comfortable, amazing really, the whole time, physically I mean. It felt like the hypnagogic state where you are about to fall asleep or have partly woken up and you feel heavy and cozy and wonderful. When I would sit up briefly during the first two days, it felt like I was buzzing with an energy similar to what you feel during sleep paralysis, but I wasn't paralyzed and it wasn't frightening. On the third day when I started to walk around it just felt AMAZING. The entire experience was a series of dreams, or visions in the form of dreams. I believe it acted deeply on a subconscious level, unlike anything else I have ever experienced or imagined. It was a deep trance of dissociation resulting in dreaming. There was absolutely no fear at any point except briefly upon re-entry (or partial re-entry) to the regular world, which was directly the result of having no sitter at that time. I read all these reports of people feeling fear, and pain, and discomfort... I believe that's not the intended way to use iboga. I believe it's supposed to be taken in its full spectrum.

The follow-up dose I took was predominantly TA extract (but about equivalent of only 350mg of HCl in total - 100mg of HCl + 500mg of TA), and it was simply phenomenal in content, and much more lucid, with topics of extra-dimensionality, death, rebirth, etc. It was my favorite part and I hope to get more TA/ibogaine and take follow-up doses at that kind of level, periodically. I enjoyed it greatly. And what's wrong with enjoying the life-changing experience you are undergoing? If it doesn't need to be jarring and painful, then why should it be?

I know people read this, that's why I bothered to post it. We have a tremendous addiction problem, to opiates and other drugs, in the world today, and we should be doing everything to try to figure out how to battle that, including better understanding iboga/ibogaine.
 
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Thank you for sharing this, it's an amazing report. I'm happy to hear you're still doing well.

Reading your report I see a lot of myself in you, especially the parts concerning dosing drugs as soon as they arrive in the mail. Like you opiates have always been my favorite class since discovering them a decade ago but I will also take anything I happen to have laying around just to starve off boredom.

I was discussing ibogaine with a friend tonight while reading this report as I've been thinking of attempting a flood dose for a long time now. I have kicked and gotten back on the opiate train more times than I can remember now and find myself slipping in and out of daily use. When you mentioned the shame of taking the kratom, and knowing you would dose despite the fact that it might ruin the progress you've made it really hit home for me. This is exactly how my mind operates as well.

Again, thank you for taking the time to compose this trip report. I'm not sure if I'll ever attempt a flood dose as I'm exploring other options first but reading this report gives me peace of mind that there are options like this out there for people like us.

Also wanted to add that it's always good to see another BLer from North Carolina on here. For all I know we might have passed each other by at a festival. :)

All the best.
 
wow man that's some powerful medicine! I've been wondering how your memory works when jumping through so many different psychedelic environments! And in how many of the environments you realized you were on Ibogaine? Did any of the places you visited feel like a past life? I also was thinking of the fact that i don't know you or your personality! nonetheless i feel like there were some signs of a amazing imagination fueled by who you are. I especially liked the space house, the part where you were younger and played a hide and seek game with transporters! that was great :) so the occult thing was in retrospect the opiate's in your life? the treasure and searching for more was the drug seeking side? Because you did bring your jar of drugs the Monday you hung out with friends, was this the treasure hanging from your belt in your dream state? also the place where you were chased out and could not search for your "treasure" which was very rude indeed! was that some hold on the drugs being illegal or not accessible ? i'm just trying to understand the symbolism! ?
 
HeadphonesandLSD said:
Thank you for sharing this, it's an amazing report. I'm happy to hear you're still doing well.

Reading your report I see a lot of myself in you, especially the parts concerning dosing drugs as soon as they arrive in the mail. Like you opiates have always been my favorite class since discovering them a decade ago but I will also take anything I happen to have laying around just to starve off boredom.

I was discussing ibogaine with a friend tonight while reading this report as I've been thinking of attempting a flood dose for a long time now. I have kicked and gotten back on the opiate train more times than I can remember now and find myself slipping in and out of daily use. When you mentioned the shame of taking the kratom, and knowing you would dose despite the fact that it might ruin the progress you've made it really hit home for me. This is exactly how my mind operates as well.

Again, thank you for taking the time to compose this trip report. I'm not sure if I'll ever attempt a flood dose as I'm exploring other options first but reading this report gives me peace of mind that there are options like this out there for people like us.

Also wanted to add that it's always good to see another BLer from North Carolina on here. For all I know we might have passed each other by at a festival. :)

All the best.
Click to expand...

Hey man. :) Glad you found value in it. Every day I am more glad I took the (considerable) time and effort to write this in the way I did, because of the number of people who have told me it's helped them. If you decide to do it, feel free to PM me for guidance. I had a guide and it made a huge difference.

And yeah, NC love. :) I'm not from here but I've lived here for over 9 years (WNC mountains, Asheville specifically, for the last 6+ years). I always wonder how many BLers I've met and not realized. :)

silas GUY said:
wow man that's some powerful medicine! I've been wondering how your memory works when jumping through so many different psychedelic environments! And in how many of the environments you realized you were on Ibogaine? Did any of the places you visited feel like a past life? I also was thinking of the fact that i don't know you or your personality! nonetheless i feel like there were some signs of a amazing imagination fueled by who you are. I especially liked the space house, the part where you were younger and played a hide and seek game with transporters! that was great :) so the occult thing was in retrospect the opiate's in your life? the treasure and searching for more was the drug seeking side? Because you did bring your jar of drugs the Monday you hung out with friends, was this the treasure hanging from your belt in your dream state? also the place where you were chased out and could not search for your "treasure" which was very rude indeed! was that some hold on the drugs being illegal or not accessible ? i'm just trying to understand the symbolism! ?
Click to expand...
 
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Wow, that was an extraordinary story. Thanks for taking the time to write it all out in such detail, it was a fascinating read. I'm glad to hear that it has continued to be a positive force in your life.
 
Thanks. :) It was honestly a lot of work writing it, there were times I wanted nothing more than to stop writing this thing that just got longer and longer and longer. But 100% worth doing.

I printed it out because the girl I've been seeing recently wanted to read it, and she's totally engrossed by it. You know you have something good going on when the person you're seeing is intensely motivated to read the story of how, 4 and a half months ago, you took ibogaine to cure a 10-year addiction to opiates, and she doesn't bat an eye at that. :)

That makes me realize how far I've come since then... this happened at the end of April, but it feels like it's been a year or more. SO MUCH has changed in my life, all for the better. I'm in a totally different place now.
 
Woah, that's a great report there, Xorkoth. I'm surprised anyone could really put something like that into words, let alone a report as well written as that. I'm normally a TLDR sort of guy when it comes to trip reports but that had me totally immersed. Out of interest, have you (or anyone else for that matter) experimented with lower doses since? I didn't really know anything about ibogaine until reading this, but I'm kind of interested seeing as I've only remembered like half a dozen of my dreams over the last decade, probably due to the amount of weed I usually smoke. It would be cool if a smallish dose could allow one to have funked up dreams and/or remember them in the first place without being totally out of it the proceeding day(s).
 
I have not experimented with ibogaine since, though I want to acquire some TA extract for some more lower-dose trips periodically. My follow-up dose was by far my favorite part of the actual trip, though the aftereffects of the flood dose were in an entirely different league. I can't see a lower dose providing the same life-changing behavior modifications, but it sure was fun, and for me it helped me to tie the whole thing together. It also gave me the most phenomenal and enjoyable dreams of my life, bar none. The dreams I had on my ~350mg dose were otherworldly, beautiful, profound and amazing. The flood dose dreams were often grueling and I enjoyed the ability to come out of the dreams and realize what was actually going on in reality from the smaller dose. Also, the visuals were phenomenal from the lower dose. The lower dose was a very intense trip but it was the kind of thing I was fine to be alone and unsupervised for. Visually it was about the most intense thing I've ever experienced, I couldn't believe how intense the visuals were. With eyes open I saw a huge variety of things overlaying my vision, and with eyes closed I would immediately begin seeing visions which would turn into dreams as I got pulled in. I felt some aftereffects the next day but it wasn't anything that impacted my ability to function. I could see myself taking a similar dose or even a bit higher every 4 months, just to keep myself aligned with iboga's energy.

My dreams have been slowly fading in intensity over the past few months, but I am still dreaming much more vividly than I have since I was a kid. I also smoke less, I stopped buying my own so I smoke when I hang out with friends now, probably 3 times a week, rather than every day.

I loved my entire ibogaine experience but I REALLY purely enjoyed the follow-up, lower dose... it's more of a dissociative than a psychedelic, especially with the whole alkaloid profile ingested (there is a potent alkaloid besides ibogaine in iboga that is actually more potent by weight than ibogaine HCl), but whatever it is, it's an amazing substance.
 
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Xorkoth said:
I was re-reading this thread and I have another answer to this question now. I believe it is a mistake that ibogaine practitioners seem to have a dogma of "use HCl only for addiction/medical treatment". I took a substantial portion of my dose (well less than half though) with the TA (total alkaloid) extract, and I believe it made all the difference in the effects I experienced. A friend of ours on here has done it twice for addiction, the first time with TA where he had a beautiful, peaceful, loving, immersive experience, and the second time with just HCl where he had a jarring, physically unpleasant, scattered and taxing experience. There are other major alkaloids in iboga which include a powerful dissociative. I believe these other alkaloids make a tremendous difference in effects, and that they calm out the rough stimulation of ibogaine HCl and make the experience more cohesive and immersive and just overall comfortable. I think they are essential to the whole experience of the plant, I think that only makes sense. It makes no sense to me to restrict the medical use of it to the isolated major alkaloid ibogaine, even if it ends up providing most of the effects, especially when ibogaine HCl appears to be somewhat physically unsafe at those dosage levels. Alkaloids in plants synergize with one another and often produce an effect unique to any of the individual compounds that make it up... I think this is what's happening with iboga.

In my experience, with the TA, I didn't experience a significant heart rate or BP increase. I felt comfortable, amazing really, the whole time, physically I mean. It felt like the hypnagogic state where you are about to fall asleep or have partly woken up and you feel heavy and cozy and wonderful. When I would sit up briefly during the first two days, it felt like I was buzzing with an energy similar to what you feel during sleep paralysis, but I wasn't paralyzed and it wasn't frightening. On the third day when I started to walk around it just felt AMAZING. The entire experience was a series of dreams, or visions in the form of dreams. I believe it acted deeply on a subconscious level, unlike anything else I have ever experienced or imagined. It was a deep trance of dissociation resulting in dreaming. There was absolutely no fear at any point except briefly upon re-entry (or partial re-entry) to the regular world, which was directly the result of having no sitter at that time. I read all these reports of people feeling fear, and pain, and discomfort... I believe that's not the intended way to use iboga. I believe it's supposed to be taken in its full spectrum.

The follow-up dose I took was predominantly TA extract (but about equivalent of only 350mg of HCl in total - 100mg of HCl + 500mg of TA), and it was simply phenomenal in content, and much more lucid, with topics of extra-dimensionality, death, rebirth, etc. It was my favorite part and I hope to get more TA/ibogaine and take follow-up doses at that kind of level, periodically. I enjoyed it greatly. And what's wrong with enjoying the life-changing experience you are undergoing? If it doesn't need to be jarring and painful, then why should it be?

I know people read this, that's why I bothered to post it. We have a tremendous addiction problem, to opiates and other drugs, in the world today, and we should be doing everything to try to figure out how to battle that, including better understanding iboga/ibogaine.
Click to expand...

Great follow up post. Agree with it 100 % although I am not sure the total alkaloid has a 'dissociative' compound, at least I am not aware of anything with more of an NMDA-receptor effect that ibogaine itself. On the other hand, the total alkaloid product has ibogaline (about 25% of the alkaloid content, sometimes more) which is twice as potent as ibogaine by weight, and is still converted to noribogaine as I understand.
 
I may have been a bit confused there, I was thinking of the twice as potent by weight one and for some reason I had in my head that it was a more potent dissociative. Either way my main point was that the total alkaloid content of the plant makes a significant difference.
 
Easily the best trip report
I've ever read.

You should
have this edited
& published.

Congratulations
on y'ur addiction
surmounting
Cptn.
 
Thank you. :)

It's been almost 7 months since this experience. I still have no desire for opiates and I feel so blessed for that. I had a bit of a down period when the season started to really change but I've worked through that mostly (and it happens every year, just a part of being a living creature on Earth where there are seasons I suppose). I've been using a fair amount of psychedelics, socially, too many perhaps, but things are going well in my life. I've been seeing a girl who I really like, but it's just casual at this point, a really wonderful thing we're just enjoying for whatever it is. I've been very social and I've expanded my community quite significantly. I'm still going to therapy twice a month, not 100% sure I need it but it's nice so I am still going. My level of self-confidence is the highest it's ever been. I don't notice any residual ibogaine energy anymore, that has passed, but I feel good. I'm still working out a lot, not quite as hard as I was but I am in very good shape now. I just got an amazing opportunity for extra work that will be commission-based, which I think will help me tremendously in getting ahead in my finances, and I'm really excited about it. My ex and I are in a good place, we respect each other and have love for each other but I am 100% moved on, no part of me is still hung up on any part of that relationship. I'll be able to file for divorce in February (my state has a very long period where you have to have lived apart before you can file). We have papers written up already with all the terms, which we agree on, so it will be open and shut once we do file.

So yeah, things are going well... I am alive again, fully alive. Life is always going to have ups and downs but I finally feel equipped to deal with that.
 
I first read about your trip report on reddit, on the drugs subreddit. It was on a thread talking about if there are crazier psychedelics than DMT and someone mentioned your trip report on ibogaine. The past 2 days have consisted of me reading your report off of my phone whenever time allowed and i finished just about an hour ago. I would like to say that that was one of the finest pieces of literature that i have ever read and that you truly have a talent for writing. I made this bluelight account just moments ago to tell you this because i think it was well worth the process of making an account just to express my joy from your report. I plan to use this account as well, now that i have it and to maybe connect with other members from this site. Anyways man, I really enjoyed your writing and I really hope you are doing great in your life. I hope it also feels good to know that you are semi-partially-fractionally internet famous to the psychedelic drug-using community lol. Wishing the best for you! Also, if you have a blog or somewhere that you consistently write, i would love to follow it whether its drug related or not!
 
Wow, thanks man, always a nice thing to log on and read. :) I'm glad you got so much from it. It was pretty intense to write, it took a lot of focus but I was as inspired as I've ever been to write something for it. I expected it to be a lot shorter than that but it just kept growing. I don't have a blog, I have a whole bunch of trip reports on Erowid though, written between 2004 and now. I've tried to adopt a more narrative style when I got back into things this year, it's definitely a progression.

Stick around, check out PD (the psychedelic drugs forum). The social thread there is my #1 stop whenever I go online pretty much. Lots of awesome people there.
 
I'll come clean:

I still haven't read it in it's entirety. I just can't fucking read a 35 THOUSAND word report on a forum in a web browser so I turned it into a .docx (word format) as my adobe pro crashed twice.

On google docs (as a .docx):
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-bw3lTgYu09aHlkb2EyWmdkcWc/view?usp=sharing

If anyone wants it in a doc/txt lemme know, I'm gonna try and fix my acrobat pro and turn it to a .pdf which I think would suite it best (my original idea as you can bookmark it).

You should get a friend to draw a cover and post it on Amazon's self publishing site. It's long enough to be a small book!

EDIT
Download links are near the top of both documents.

Found an online place to convert to .pdf:

On google docs (as a .PDF):

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-bw3lTgYu09c0s5Tl9OSjdWR3M/view?usp=sharing
 
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