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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Xorkoth

Ibogaine (flood dose) - First Time - Into The Flood

Xorkoth, this was an absolutely amazing read. took me 3 days on and off (bathroom breaks at work)(too many and too long) to finish reading your report. I have been fighting with opiates for over 8 years now. H and IV... :\ but over the past 3 years ive been on suboxone and only had a 2 day slip up the entire time. I was on 16 mg of suboxone a day and ive got myself down to 1mg a day. .25 every 4-6 hours about. i acquired some ibogaine hcl and TA. and have been reading different reports and stories for over a month now. yours being the one that's influenced me the most and now im going to go through with it. thanks to you :) the plan is to get off of suboxone and go onto a shorter acting opiate which im nervous about but i need this to end. my good friends are going to babysit me for 3 days at my house, when my girlfriend goes on vacation for a week :\ she doesn't know im still on suboxone... but anyways after reading your report, well halfway through it, i knew i had to create an account here and tell you how amazing and detailed it was. it was nothing else ive read online since i started my research. thanks again xorkoth!
 
You're very welcome, it warms my heart to know that I influenced you in such a way. :) Be careful, and yes, do switch to a full agonist with a short half-life. It seems very counterproductive, but suboxone does not play well with ibogaine. Good luck!
 
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^^ ?

Since people wanted updates...

I am doing great, I feel so great in my own skin. Tonight I went to the kava bar, which is one of the main places I used to get kratom. I hung out there for hours, meeting people, having a great time, conversing with people who were drinking kratom. Simply no desire to go there. The "barkeep", who knew me from before, told me how great I looked and seemed. I am going out and meeting people, and I've been having one of my best summers ever.

I'm up to 158 pounds, a far cry from the 130 I had gotten down to. I've got some serious muscle definition and I'm way stronger than I have ever been, especially my core. I just got back from vacation with my family to the dearest place to me on Earth (I hadn't been for 4 years due to money and relationship issues). My family, immediate and extended, were just amazed at how healthy I seem and how much better I look, and the neighbor (basically also family) teared up at how happy I was and gave me a huge long hug after which she cried a little.

I feel reborn, and I'm SO grateful for the gift iboga has given me. <3
 
I didn't see the "deal with it" at the end, take the .gif with just the sloth and the sunglasses ignore the text plz.

I'm glad to see your doing greeaatttt! (like Tony the frosted flakes tiger, only you instead of cereal).

I'm proud of what you've accomplished and what your future holds. Opioids are a lie, a siren that beckons you to the rocks, a devil, beelzebub, a scarlet letter when on them in the form of an O, a lie from the pit of hell, satan in chemical form.

You're going to do awesome, you're already doing awesome! I'm gonna get through your whole trip story eventually, it's just so surreal and mindblowing I'm savoring it slowly.
 
:) Thanks dude. Yeah it's a pretty intense story. I'm going to re-read it again soon, I want to put myself back in there because the intensity of the memories is already fading into story form in my head, I don't fully remember what it was like anymore.

Also I forgot to mention, I have been having super intense, vivid, varied dreams every single night. Sometimes really bizarre ones. Before the ibogaine it was incredibly rare for me to remember a dream, much less be present in my dreams, but lately I've had a number of dreams bordering on lucid. I've taken to laying in bed and trying to remember them when I wake up, before I get up, and that's helped with recall, but I don't know why I don't just get a little notebook next to my bed so I can write something down. For some reason I never think of it at a time when I can do it, nor do I think to write stuff down right when I wake up.
 
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Fascinating report, very well written too.

If ever I get my leg fixed I think I'd do the same, I've been on opiates for over a decade now, after first falling on broken glass as a kid, that went through my patellar tendon/kneecap, and after, whilst recovering, had a big gang of pikey chav trash repeatedly stamp on my knee, and then much later developed bursitis of the hip as a consequence of the alteration in walking gait.

At the moment, I wouldn't be able to deal with the physical pain those cause me and still keep up and mobile, but the end result isn''t that different to what you describe as the consequences of your addiction. And yes, the pain meds have got their claws into me too.

One thing surprised me though, and thats that everything I've read about ibogaine says it comes at the price of a massive, and prolonged adrenergic load, which is something I find intolerable, hell, even baseline adrenergic output without constant suppression is something I find uncomfortable enough to make me squirm, without taking any kind of drug that influences it.

Have you tried ibogaine on its own, without the tabernanthine, voacangine, etc. etc. to compare?
 
No, I have only tried ibogaine once (twice, with the booster), and it was with all the alkaloids. From, what I hear, pure HCl is much more stimulating and "jarring". I believe that the other alkaloids contain ones that are stronger dissociatives which seem to me to balance the HCl out in important ways. I can honestly say it felt *great* the whole time, I had a BP monitor and my heart rate never raised even when I was rocketing up, my heart beat felt slow, steady, healthy. Afterwards I had lots of energy but in a wonderful way, for days. I wouldn't think of calling it an "adrenergic load". I believe that would have continued longer had I not slipped up and brought my withdrawal back. I felt a bit manic in the best kind of way, but also very grounded. The way I felt immediately after the 3 day main experience was phenomenally good, probably the best I've ever felt, period.

I'm sorry you had that shit happen to you man, that sucks. :( What a bunch of dicks to fuck your knee up further.
 
Yeah, a right pack of cocksuckers. If I see some of them again, the little two-bit cunts are dying. Slowly, and painfully. The hip problems have only really started the last few years, but I've lived all my adult life, and most of my teen years with my knee fucked up. I did have it operated on to remove some shards of broken bone from behind the tendon, but all that achieved was to keep me on crutches for a fair while while that healed, and leaving me with nerve damage, and resultant neuropathic pain, and opiates, methadone excluded with its NMDA antagonist properties, do fuck all for that, so that just means more pills to pop daily (gabapentin, plus tizanidine, a strong, strong muscle relaxer.

In some ways, I'd be happy to be able to live without opiates, other than as an occasional treat but in others I'm glad I get all the gear off my doc, without having to deal with shady shitbags on street corners or wait all season for my years pod crop.

But I don't think I'm lying to myself as things are at the moment, I can't walk far without more pain than I am either willing or able to cope with enduring on a daily basis just as the price of mobility.

Was it strongly stimulating in and of itself, as the combination of alkaloids? I've read that even the raw rootbark is a fairly effective stimulant, IIRC the Bwiti people use it in much smaller doses than for 'breaking open the head' to keep them alert and focused whilst out hunting.

Sounds like quite one hell of an experience though either way, using it for detox or not, and your report has definitely made me want to try this one day, detox or not.
 
It was not stimulating at all during the main effects, on the morning of day 3 was the first time I got out of bed, and I felt so amazing, comfortable, but with regular energy. On the 4th day the metabolites began to kick in and I felt more energy but like I said I don't think of it as stimulating, more like a beautiful, engaging euphoria that made me want to live life. I got maybe 5 hours of sleep per night for the next few days, and I wasn't tired at all.

It was certainly one hell of an experience. I re-read it Saturday in its entirety, and I teared up a few times... brought me right back. I'm SO happy I took the time and effort to write this in the way I did, this way I can always bring myself back there and remember every detail, and I'm as close to 100% pleased with it as I've ever been with something I've written.
 
I took a long time to decide readig this, and 3 days in and out to finish. It was totally worth it! I envy (in a good way) the amazing adventure you have been through! That was so well written... I would call this genre psy-sci-fi!
The last part of the boost trip was so meaningful... it matches so much with my conception of the eternity of consciousness. Also dying and being born again is, IMO, a pretty obvious way to symbolize the extreme transformation brought to you by this experience.
I wonder if this came out of "nowhere" or if you already had some preconcieved notions about death and rebirth. I say this because your experience relates so much with some notions brought out by buddhism and spiritism.
It is a great privilege to have the energy and freshness of a newborn with all the acumulated experiences of a previous life :D
Wish all the best to you!
 
Thanks man. <3 I did already have preconceptions I have developed about death and the nature of existence, but aspects of this experience were brand new to me, and it was just so visceral. It rang of truth to me. I'm not going to try to claim that "that's exactly the way it is", but it sure did have a lot of meaning and impact to me, and left me with a calm sense of peace about death. I felt that already, but this just reinforced it, and powerfully.

psy-sci-fi... I like that. :)
 
3 month update: I'm doing really well! Still no desire to use opiates at all, one day I considered it briefly because I felt shitty, and I just laughed at myself, there was no chance I was actually going to do it. Nothing is worth that. I'm still working out 5 days a week. I'm still eating well, lots of protein, lots of fruits and vegetables. I've been tripping a fair amount this summer. On this past Friday I went to my first Phish show and took DOC, it was an incredible experience in which I had a very intense emotionally opening experience related to letting go on my relationship and my inhibitions/blockages. I just met a girl on Ok Cupid, we're going to get together this weekend hopefully, if she can get a sitter for her daughter. We'll see what comes of that, I want to take it slowly but I'm also very excited about it, I have this feeling that something significant will develop. Still doing therapy, except once every 2 weeks now. I told my therapist about my trip on Friday and she thought it was great, she really supports me using psychedelics as a tool. Overall I'm just living life to the fullest this summer and healing every day. Life is amazing and I'm so grateful to be living it, as me. <3
 
Hi Xorkoth, good read, a bit scary, enlightening, and real soul bearing for you. Thank you for sharing your life and personal struggles and triumph!

I personally have never done psychedelics. I almost did a hit of LSD, my baby brother was going to give it to me. This was back in the mid 80s. And as he puts it on his finger, I open my mouth, and he paused.... Uh- no. He popped it into his own mouth instead. He said "You had a bad "trip" after getting your wisdom teeth removed". At that time is was sodium pentathol. And I was screaming because everyone was coming at me and their faces were stretching and changing when I woke up. Needless to say, I was screaming, which everyone in the waiting room heard.

He said, if you have a bad trip, I won't know what to do for you, and it might effect my own. So, I didn't take it. As I look back and remember that day. Knowing he took it. I really didn't see a difference in him outward. I was to inexperienced to ask him how he was feeling it. And now to late to ask him being he passed away 1997. Non drug related. He had an extremely hi IQ and tried anything that came along.

So happy for you in my heart of hearts to know that you are off opiates. I so badly want to stop. Medical issues are what's stopping me at the moment. I posted a brief hello not to long ago in the welcome forum.

Looking forward to hear about your life after the addiction to opiates. (aka the Occult)

Happiness for you and your future. I do hope you find that special someone to share in your new life.

I will PM you soon! as I really would like to chat with you for a few.

Sincerely,
JMH
(just me here)
 
Hey, thanks for the comments! Feel free to PM me, I'll look for it.
 
Amazing report/short story. Magnificently written, amazingly descriptive.
I read it in one sitting and felt like I was living it myself, without the euphoria of course lol.
Thank for taking the time writing that up. I've never seen such a complete report for ibogaine before. It was a great trip to take in my mind trying to imagine it as you wrote it. Thx again brother!
 
I received your PM and the site won't let me respond via PM, I don't know why?? I have been looking around, there's a Treatment Center in Mexico?? Sunrise in Baja. And I was going to call, BUT..... then I read the post here above ^^^^^^^ from "lolwhatzdrugs" about his/her friend that was to be in a "vacation/retreat place, and it sounded like Sunrise, but ended up in a hotel room???? HOLY CRAP!!!! And that is what scared me!!!! I am still researching for a place. Being that I don't have the support at home to help me. Can can't PM you. But I will keep researching, because I am so ready to be free and me. Thank you so much for sharing. I so want to be able to share an experience once I have it..... Happiness to and for you!

~Jmh~
 
I actually did get your response but it only contained my PM as a quote. You can ask me stuff in here if you want, or try to PM again. I did it at home, as you know... good supervision is required but sounds like you might not have that available. It's MUCH cheaper of course to do it at home. I can ask around and see if anyone has a good recommendation for a place they went to that was legit. There are certainly predatory "clinic" companies that are trying to screw you, but there are also legitimate ones. It's surely the safest bet to go to a good clinic, but many times more expensive as well. Also it seems like most clinics insist on pure HCl only for your experience which I simply disagree with. Perhaps there are some who would accommodate a part HCl and part TA extract experience.
 
Funny thing, you said it would be more widely viewed on erowid, and here it has 100 more views.

I just finished my summer online class, so I'm finally gonna get on reading your awesome looking report - I've only read a bit of it so far.


How are you doing? Still uninterested in opioids? Do you ever think of the high/using them? If no, do you have any (literal) dreams about getting high even if you doing think of them while conscious? Have you been doing other drugs more to compensate? Has your weight changed? How about your mental state, and if so positively or negatively?
 
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