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Severe panic attacks and anxiety after MDMA use

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dangerpenguin

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Joined
May 7, 2014
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2
I took MDMA a couple weeks ago, had a great experience, and then took it again a week later to celebrate something. Both experiences were great, except I had what I now know was a brief panic attack during the second experience (I thought I as just overheating). It passed after only a minute or so, and after I got some fresh air I felt better and could enjoy the experience.

Then I moved and changed jobs, just a couple days later. I'm used to a lot of stress and I thought I was managing fine, but maybe 5 days after the most recent MDMA experience I had my first real panic attack. I thought I was dying. The panic attacks recurred, one on top of the other, for days. It was terrifying, and I felt like I had broken my brain. A couple days into this, I went to the ER, still panicking. They turned me away because they "don't treat that here" and handed me a list of hotlines for anxiety/depression.

A friend brought me some supplements -- Gaba, 5htp, vit D, and a vit B/stress management complex -- so I started taking those spaced out throughout the days. They helped keep the severe attacks at bay, though I still didn't feel normal. And I can still feel the panic creeping in at random times throughout the day. The triggers don't seem to have any pattern.

Yesterday was my first day feeling normal for even part of the day. I was so excited, I thought I was getting back to normal, so I didn't take the supplements as I usually did at night. Then this morning I had crazy dissociative dreams, and I woke up with my heart beating really fast for seemingly no reason.

The rest of the day, I've just felt depressed and anxious and like I can't do anything but sit here. I don't know what to do. I just started this new job and I don't know how much more time off work I can afford to take. But I also know that in this current state, I can barely think, and exerting the slightest mental energy exhausts me. I can't go to work like this.

I've thought for a while that I have IBS, and I've read IBS and anxiety can be related. Does anyone have any recommendations for diet, or supplements, or activities I can do to help speed up my recovery? I want so badly to just feel normal again.
 
Welcome to the club bro, I was in the exact same state as you 2 months ago. First things first: You will get better. It may take awhile for you to get 100% but you will continue to get better and you won't even notice until it's been long enough and you look back on week 1. It's extreme anxiety, there is a possibility you may have altered your brain, but it will adjust, in time. With exercise, healthy foods, no caffeine or alcohol (at least for a month).

I took only one bomb (about 80mg) and I had a panic attack during my comedown after the night out. The first week I couldn't think, I wasn't even in my body. It felt like I was astrally projecting and I was on autopilot. This lasted for about 2 weeks. Doctors just said "anxiety" and I just didn't believe it, my heart was playing up, my cousin recently died of a heart attack and I was depressed wanting to cry 24/7, even suicidal thoughts. I was prescribed Propanolol (a beta-blocker) and I guarantee if you went to the doctors they'll put you on either this or anti-depressants. Do not take anti-depressants, and Propanolol only when you feel like it. You need to train your body to not be alert naturally.

There's a handful of people going through the exact same experience as you and I right now, and they're very reassuring people. It's anxiety I promise you, anxiety makes your amygdala (your alert system) on overdrive, and you are on 'fight-or-flight' mode. This causes you not to think straight and too much of it will make you very depressed like it did to me and many others. Take it easy, take time off work (luckily for me, I just finished my University year so summer!), walk a good distance everyday, take magnesium for the muscles to relax and watch a good TV show (personally recommend True Detective and Sherlock), It's going to take what feels like forever, but the usual recovery time for people going through with this is generally 3-12 months.

I'm about 85%, one more month and I reckon I'll be back on my game. It's anxiety, and you will get back to good old you.
 
Hi Dangerpenguin welcome to Bluelight.

The jibberman is right, you are going to get better. I was one of the sufferers from the end of December 2012 up to 2013 end of the year. My panic attacks were constant and there were days where the anxiety was 24/7. I thought I would not get back to normal again and though of just ending my life. With proper diet and exercise and positive thinking you will recover easily as you did not take a high dose. I took 6 tabs that night which are ridiculous amounts but here I am and I can say that I have mostly recovered from the nasty effects.

My question is though, did you test the MDMA? This is one of my biggest mistakes, I did not test any of the MDMA i took so it could have been laced with something else. There have been recent deaths about some people who have ingested Paramethoxy-methamphetamine, or PMMA that were sold as ecstasy tablets or sometimes bath salts as well so it is very important to test the product before taking it.

Aside from proper diet and exercise, meditation and yoga helped me a lot in balancing the anxiety. It takes a lot of time and patience but you will eventually get there I swear!!! What will also help is to read recovery stories from the MDMA and Empathogenic drugs forum so that your positivity will build up more. Try to keep yourself busy so that you do not pay attention much to the anxiety. If you are having a panic attack, step out a little bit and do a breathing exercise then come back again and continue with your work or your task. The most important thing to keep in mind is that it will go away in time so hang in there and you will get there like us!!!
 
Thank you!! It's really encouraging to hear that other people have gone through the same thing, and are getting better. I didn't test the drugs first, but I had had some from the same batch a few months before with no serious consequences. I think what did it was doing it twice in two weeks -- not giving myself enough time to recover in between.

I'm worried I will lose my job from having to take too much time off. How quickly were you able to go back to work?

Thank you for your response! It really is helpful to hear that other people have made it through this. If it's happened to so many people, how come I've never heard of it until now? All the doctors I've talked to didn't seem to have any clue how this could be related to MDMA. How can that be?

I think I feel the way you felt. I've never been an anxious or super-stressed person, but the anxiety and panic I feel now are enough to make me want to end it, even though I know it will pass eventually. I'm trying to stay positive though and be as healthy as possible. I know now that it's not that I have "broken" something in my brain for good, thanks to bluelight!

Have you tried therapy? Would you recommend I see a psychiatrist or something?
 
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dangerpenguin said:
Thank you for your response! It really is helpful to hear that other people have made it through this. If it's happened to so many people, how come I've never heard of it until now? All the doctors I've talked to didn't seem to have any clue how this could be related to MDMA. How can that be?

I think I feel the way you felt. I've never been an anxious or super-stressed person, but the anxiety and panic I feel now are enough to make me want to end it, even though I know it will pass eventually. I'm trying to stay positive though and be as healthy as possible. I know now that it's not that I have "broken" something in my brain for good, thanks to bluelight!

Have you tried therapy? Would you recommend I see a psychiatrist or something?
Click to expand...
I know what you mean, feeling like this state you've bought yourself in will not reverse ever, and you'll stay in this pit of darkness for life. Totally not the deal, infact I'm actually laughing that I once thought that, but I know how it feels. I've never been a stressed person either, I think the avoidance of everyday stress made the MDMA bring it all out at once. I was put on a waiting list for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) on the NHS here in the UK, and to actually get that therapy would require me to wait a good two more months. You could try it if things got really bad, but I know you can recover. Buy a "how to beat/master anxiety" book in the meantime and get a good understanding of what anxiety is so you can minimalise it while you have it now, I found that to be really helpful. Others on this website have treated themselves with simple meditation and yoga, however I don't have the flexibility or time for that personally haha.

I saw four doctors, the first one (8 days in) said "it's the after-effects still, take this Propanolol", the second doctor (14 days in) said "it's not the MDMA, you sound stressed, it will go in about a week", the third doctor (a month and bit) said "you must be very sensitive to MDMA, this can take up to 6-9 weeks to fade" (i really trusted this doctor) and the fourth (month and a half) said "you sound like you're depressed. it's not the MDMA. take this: citalopram anti-depressants" that was only two weeks ago and in those two weeks I've recovered remarkably. I think about me not feeling 100% probably about twice a day in small 5 minute moments now as opposed to the 24/7 "WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!", and that's what's really making me normal again.

I know doctors are doctors with a good understanding of general health, but a diagnosis on your emotional health isn't really that easy. It's not really the MDMA, but the stress you gave your body and brain. Take MDMA out of the equation now. Focus on your stress. Learn to relax, the faster you can relax the faster you can recover. What I like to think I gave myself was a very mild form of PTSD.

Here's a link I have bookmarked on my browser if I ever get a little bit anxious (which is very rare now) which I like to view for reassurance: http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/713036-To-TheW0rm-and-Others-w-quot-comedown-quot-issues
 
dangerpenguin said:
Thank you!! It's really encouraging to hear that other people have gone through the same thing, and are getting better. I didn't test the drugs first, but I had had some from the same batch a few months before with no serious consequences. I think what did it was doing it twice in two weeks -- not giving myself enough time to recover in between.

I'm worried I will lose my job from having to take too much time off. How quickly were you able to go back to work?

Thank you for your response! It really is helpful to hear that other people have made it through this. If it's happened to so many people, how come I've never heard of it until now? All the doctors I've talked to didn't seem to have any clue how this could be related to MDMA. How can that be?

I think I feel the way you felt. I've never been an anxious or super-stressed person, but the anxiety and panic I feel now are enough to make me want to end it, even though I know it will pass eventually. I'm trying to stay positive though and be as healthy as possible. I know now that it's not that I have "broken" something in my brain for good, thanks to bluelight!

Have you tried therapy? Would you recommend I see a psychiatrist or something?
Click to expand...

I actually did not take time off, I wanted to take a break and take a few months off but I know that work will not let me go for that long. It was either I quit and find another job or stay in the job and fight it through. I have decided to stay and work even if I was not in the best state. 2012 will be one of the toughest years of my life going through the panic attacks and anxiety. I still remember the days where I would have to pause work and go to the washroom when the anxiety/panic attack will arise. I did breathing techniques then cry after. I kept telling myself what the heck did you do to yourself? Did you really think your use would not bite you back in the ass and that you would stay invincible forever? It was very hard and very disappointing at times because just when you think you are getting a lot better, the panic attack will discourage you thinking that you might be damaged goods for life.

I have spoken to some of the other sufferers before who have recovered/who got a lot better and they went to CBT. Do whatever you would think would help you, if you think that you need to see a psyche, go and try it out. The most important thing is for you to keep fighting and keep thinking positive. Remember that you are not sick, you can eat, can drink, can walk and can go to work. It is just the brain fixing itself so give it more time to heal.
 
My name is King Cuzzo and I would like some information or advice. I am 19 years old , 5,6 ft and way about 59 kg( 131 in pounds )On Jan 12th 2018 I had my birthday and it was really fun. But I had a lil too much fun. I drank and smoked a lot but also did about 150mg of ecstasy that night. I woke up the next morning and continued to party again but this time i took two pills of 200mg each. Yes I know it?s a lot but at the time I wasn?t aware I just wanted to have fun. I?m not a regular user that was my 3rd time in my entire life. They day after I felt like shit. I was depressed, having brainzaps ( shocks through my body) at one post int during that week I had a panic/ anxiety attack. I didn?t feel like I was in tune with reality merely just walking and I would after feel like I was having a delay. The weekend I stayed by a friend and drank lot of tea and vitamin C and slowly I got better. I had my appetite back and I felt normal. I started gym about 2 weeks after so I started sweating. After a couple days I started feeling the symptoms coming back but I still felt kinda normal. I would just feel a little out of sync. I?m not having any memory problems or spasms but I did get about one or two brainzaps during this time. I feel the same but just a little out of touch. And the two weeks before I was perfect. Is it because it?s still in my system and I started sweating it out or did I take to much and it?s just taking a while to come down. I?m going to see the doctors Tuesday. But would still like some advice

PDATE: The whole weekend I was having trouble sleeping and eating. But I would just eat some fruits and drink some green tea , I started feeling a little like myself Sunday morning but it would go and come. I went to see the doctor and he told me I basically ran a marathon and body is drained and tired and needs time to recover. He also advised for me to do a check Thursday which I am going to do then next week Tuesday I have an appointment again. Thanks for the help but I have a couple questions. 1. Why did I feel back to normal after my 1 week comedown and right after 1.5 week I started feeling shit again. 2. Why did I struggling with sleeping and eating. I?m slowly getting back my appetite and sleep but I?m still kinda concerned. 3. My eyes and brain have been feeling a little heavy / foggy. I?m feeling like my eyes are little slow and I?m scared that I did permanent damage to brain from just one dose. Is it possible ? Thanks in advance and I would appreciate if you can explain in dept what happening.
 
Probably get some magnesium even on top of a benzo. Magnesium calms the central nervous system. I would recommend 5-HTP as well (LOW DOSE at night) like 25 mg. You're very low on serotonin probably. I'm not a doctor though so take my advice with a grain of salt.
 
@KingCuzzo - It is highly unlikely that you've done any permanent damage.

Can't answer questions as to why you started to feel better and then not feel so well.

It's good you've seen a doctor.

Exercise in moderation and good eating habits along with not ingesting any unnecessary drugs in the next few months will be very helpful to you feeling back to snuff.
 
hi
I have taken MDMA for the past 2 weekends. I did about 3 bombs and sniffed some on Saturday. since then I have had mild discomfort and pain in my abdomen area. I also have had quite severe anxiety regarding my health and how I am feeling. I haven't noticed any come down symptoms such as depression etc. am I okay?
 
Hey guys , I?m feeling back to normal but some days I still feel out of sync and some days I feel normal. I smoked a lot of pot and drank in my week vacation and now I?m feeling s little out of sync but I?m not suffering from anxiety or depression I just feel like I?m a little out of it. Is it because I used drugs again and I?m not fully recovered or are my serotonin levels not yet balanced. Ps it?s been almost 2 months
 
^Maybe you should look into your diet, exercise and lifestyle in general? Maybe you need to really double down on physical health for a bit. Try daily meditation first thing in the morning to set a calm tone for the day ahead. It is often way more than drug use that causes this disconnected feeling.
 
Hi! (I apologize for my English, is not my first language)
Last december i consumed a HEROIC dose of 2C-B, i snorted 80mg!!! 8) and of course...I had a panic attack, I came to know it weeks later, at the time i thought I was having a heart attack because i felt a pressure in my chest and even went to the hospital, but the doctor said I had nothing wrong...classic from Anxiety
It's been three months since I've been dealing with this anxiety disorder and feeling all kinds of symptoms (insomnia, muscle twitching, chest pains)
but I must say I've improved a lot!!! (80% recovered)

It's comforting to read all these stories of people with the same problem that has fully recovered.
Currently I do not use any drugs or even alcohol because this increased my anxiety and it brings me back to the first few weeks after that massive dose of 2C-B; Now I have a healthy lifestyle, and take magnesium glycinate (400mg daily) and 5-HTP (100mg daily)

And yes...I feel almost recovered!

BUT, I have a question, how long did it take for you guys to go back to drink or using drugs without an anxiety episode? (I have heard that about 6 months or 1 year)
I don't want to sound like I didn't learn the lesson but I would like in the future to go back to drink or consuming some drugs (of course in a more responsible way;) )
 
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