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One of my best friends overdosed from drugs I gave him, anyone else experience this?

G

Geaux Tigers!

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 15, 2010
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393
Hey, everybody,

It's been exactly two weeks now since a best friend and colleague overdosed off of my medicine.

I gave him #90 2mg. alprazolam "bars" Thursday evening. This is our typical deal. I know he likes them, and I know he deals them too. Nothing disastrous has ever happened, so I thought nothing about it.

The last communication between us was on Facebook Messenger on our iPhones around 9:45PM:

Him: About to hit the barge. ;) I snorted some of that oxyMOREphone you gave me lol.

Last thing he ever read from me was my reply:

Me: Haha, good times. Just be careful, you're an amateur haha.

^^^

I feel like I killed him.

I'm kinda about to cry right now typing this, but I feel like he ate more pills or snorted more to prove to me that he wasn't an amateur.

I was just being sarcastic, and I never thought about overdosing, passing out or death. Toxicology report confirms that he died of my Opana and Xanax that I provided him. No alcohol or other drugs in his system.

He was always careful about dosing too, never did more than a third of an Opana 10mg. IR, and no more than a bar at a time. I guess he went all out or something; whatever the case, he's dead.

I feel terrible about the situation.

What do you guys think? Ever been in a similar situation? Did I kill him?

Appreciate input!
 
No you didn't kill him. You told him to be careful. People have to take responsibility for themselves.

Blaming yourself is a quite natural reaction but doesn't make it any more true. You didn't kill him.

Horrible situation and I sympathise with you. But you didn't kill him.
 
i agree with stonehappymonday.

feeling responsible - or being made to feel responsible for somebody's death - is absolutely awful. ultimately, as shm says, people have to take responsibility for themselves.

i mean, what kind of person would do that to somebody? it's an evil, vindictive, mean-spirited thing to do for sure. don't do that to yourself geaux tigers.

alasdair
 
Well, that is very unfortunate, brother. & Yeah, that HAS to be one of the most shittiest feelings ever.
Hopefully, you will not encounter any legal troubles for this incident. LEO's can be pretty damn nosey.
 
Don't blame yourself, there's no reason 2 people have to lose their lives over this tragedy. But as JunkieDays said, there's a good chance LE would see responsibility differently, so do everything you can to help his family but don't say anything.

You'll never forget this though--hopefully you can use it to do better things with your life, to make it count for him too.
 
im pretty sure at least in US it has been ruled that an IP address is not sufficient proof of identity.

that must suck GT however as others have said you can't blame yourself for a mistake that occured, even if it was a fatal one. if you know in your heart your friend was not suicidal chalk it up to extreme unfortunate luck. i am not saying "just get over it" as that will take time for sure. just try try try to forgive yourself for something you did not directly do. i am sorry for your loss.
 
Around 2004 a girlfriend of mine overdosed on methadone she got off a girl I had introduced her to the day before. She died next to me in bed and for years I felt responsible because this girl was very inexperienced and very naive before I met her. I never tried to get her to use drugs with me and there were certain drugs I wouldn't let her use but she was around them all the time and met all my friends so she started to experiment.

I still think all the time about "what if this or what if that" but in the end she was making her own choices. So no you didn't kill him. I am sorry that you have to experience something so painful. I wish I could say something to make you feel better but in the end this is just something you will have to work through. Watch out that you don't begin a guilt ridden downward spiral. My addiction quickly took over as I battled the depression and feelings of guilt. I quickly relapsed back into IV heroin use and as a consequence ran from my feelings for years. My heart goes out to you.... Feel free to PM me if things get too rough.
 
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yeah ur a dumbass for posting this had a friend that was dealing blows to support his habit the kid he sold to died they took the kids phone saw his number and text conversation arrested him for manslaughter dont know all the details. on another note just had a cousin die from benzos and painkillers at a friends house fell asleep and never woke up he was there to buy the kids pills interested into wut comes out of it the cops took the phone to see the conversation
 
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