MaryJanePain
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2014
- Messages
- 1
Smoking 30gbp (an eighth) worth a weed a day
feel depressed anyway
but feel really suicidal without it
I abused mkat a lot last year after splitting with my girl off 4 years and losing my job
I feel sad a lot I do have mates and have been going gym eating healthily but still when I don't have weed all tht goes out window and I feel like giving up.
I did heavily drink for 3 weeks aswell but for last month Ive been hiting gym 5 hours a week and walking a few miles a day.
I had phet last night for first time in a ahad a good time and now im feeling guilty again after leaving my mate hes now asleep the wanker ive ate some chicken drank some milk orange juice and vitamins and protein shake ive also had 1mg lorazepam and 15mg diazepam.
Im not even tired and hardly have benzo tolerance.
I really need to stop weed more than anything though my parents r ashamed of me but I feel im autistic or some shit as I cant handle jobs or adult life very well when I worked full time I once walked out went home and just cried in my bed working part time I was ok though but if they ever changed the routine it would send me on one.
Im going to be completely honest
I don't want to commit suicide
but I don't want to live
but I hate how my life is atm.
I think im just mad
feel depressed anyway
but feel really suicidal without it
I abused mkat a lot last year after splitting with my girl off 4 years and losing my job
I feel sad a lot I do have mates and have been going gym eating healthily but still when I don't have weed all tht goes out window and I feel like giving up.
I did heavily drink for 3 weeks aswell but for last month Ive been hiting gym 5 hours a week and walking a few miles a day.
I had phet last night for first time in a ahad a good time and now im feeling guilty again after leaving my mate hes now asleep the wanker ive ate some chicken drank some milk orange juice and vitamins and protein shake ive also had 1mg lorazepam and 15mg diazepam.
Im not even tired and hardly have benzo tolerance.
I really need to stop weed more than anything though my parents r ashamed of me but I feel im autistic or some shit as I cant handle jobs or adult life very well when I worked full time I once walked out went home and just cried in my bed working part time I was ok though but if they ever changed the routine it would send me on one.
Im going to be completely honest
I don't want to commit suicide
but I don't want to live
but I hate how my life is atm.
I think im just mad