my life with out drugs is a death sentence

[xxsicknessxx]

I'm sober, if you read some of my old posts I was a hardcore mdpv user for as long as it was around not to mention ox, pills, xanex, ghb, meth, weed, booze. I have tried to get sober but always with the intention of doing drugs again but I'm six month sober this time trying everything I can. I had gastric bypass when I was 19 I'm a success they tell me I lost over 250 pounds I was 455 I'm 190 now. I add this to explain something's wrong, in tired all the time, my mind slow compared to when I was younger I was smart now I forget names, places, story's, I sleep so much and have nightmares where I'm paralyzed and fight to wake up with a feeling like if I don't wake up now I'll die it's scary. I'm trying hard but I miss mdpv and meth and being tired makes me crave it more. I'm at the point where doctors won't give me anything with a narcotic in it which is silly because I can buy drugs I work I need adrell or ritilin so I can live a life but they won't. So I'm living but feel half dead all the time making me feel like a zombie. I dunno what to do I need help something's so wrong with my body I used work 7 days a week going through withdraw no problem now 2 days is to much. I'm thirty this is no way to live a life. What do I do keep crying to same doctors in stuck with what I get I can't afford insurance sigh I can't keep doing this they keep saying I need to wait and be patient but my life's ticking a way my dad needs help at work now he's old and I can't help. How long before I self medicating. I need to vent thanks.

 

[gr33n3y3z]

>snip<

Maybe switch up doctors and stop getting the run around with them. Exercise and keep your mind off the self medicating atm until you get the right treatment, maybe therapy wouldn't hurt eh?

 

[neversickanymore]

WOW, congratulations sick, that an amazing accomplishment.

You are doing great. It takes awhile to get the system to stabilize. But you have to be close. Allot of times we get a big push right before all the paws go away. I did I made it through a crazy ass long detox and tons of PAWS only to almost give up less than a week before the miracle happened. All the sudden the symptoms just got worse and I was saying you know what I have come so far but shit if i'm going to be all fucked like this forever its not worth it and almost went back on methadone so I could sleep and think properly. I shit you not less than seven days latter I went from sleeping 4 hours a night for like five months to sleeping like ten hours a night for three nights in a row and every symptom I had except a bit of fatigue vanished. It was pretty fantastic. So they say that the PAWS can last up to two years but the vast majority of people receive a huge break close to where you are at. Some takes up to a year but most people not. Keep at it and it will happen. What have you been doing to promote neuroregulation? Have you identified and root to your addiction at all?

Again amazing work.. you have come so far, it will happen.. nothing back their for you but all the crap you have made the monumental effort to get through.. no need to do that shiot again. even though your feeling off your doing great.

 

[legalizeall]

Couldnt agree more with neversickanymore here man. He is totally right on every point he hit. Drugs and doing many drugs can make the body all twacked out for a bit but the body is an amazing machine and can recover from alot. I know you dont want to hear this but it takes time. what your going through is just the bodies process in making itself right again.

You will get there but you have to help the body too or it will just take longer. You dont get better just sitting there wondering why you dont feel great. DO things that make you happy or give you fulfillment. That way your giving those natural endorphins and transmitters in your brain a boost. Your helping it produce it the natural way by doing that which it didnt have to do on the drugs. Your basically reteaching it how to do that.

They say dont quit before the mirace happens for a reason.

 

[herbavore]

sick, I am so glad to hear from you and that you managed to get off mdpv. You really struggled with that for a long time and that is one insidious addiction! Feeling like you need adderall or ritalin is just your brain wanting stims; better that you continue to seek equilibrium without stims of any kind. Of course they help you work more but at what cost? You have a right to be exhausted and to go through that at a pace that your body determines. Are you eating a really good diet with plenty of protein?

 

[Maya]

Congrats OP! Nope it is the other way around OP your life starts now!

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

What have you introduced in to your life to fill the void created when the drugs left?