So, I'm watching this now... and it's not as bad as I thought.
It's not great. But, it's definitely watchable.
I really like Billy Bob Thornton and Martin Freeman's characters.
Some of it is really badly written, and some of it doesn't work well.
Like the plagues being brought down on the supermarket king.
There are a lot of gag characters, as well. Too many.
It's, often, too quirky for it's own good (I think).
Bob Odenkirk is amusing, but they stretch the dumb sexist country sheriff / police chief gag across the entire show.
But then: I was never a huge fan of Fargo, which largely revolved around the caricaturization of small town America.
(After France McDormand said "ya" for the tenth time, a part of me wanted to die.)
I don't find Minnesotans particularly funny.
I'm glad the toned the accents down for the TV show.
But, there's still a lot of borderline retarded characters.
It's not a particularly affectionate portrait of Minnesota.
The supermarket king's son is retarded.
Sam Hess' kids are retarded.
The police chief is retarded.
Billy Bob Thornton's character has some great dialogue.
And then it cuts to a rodeo clown for five minutes.
The plot unfolds, Hangover-style, with one outrageous moment after another.
There wasn't anything - logistically - in the film version of Fargo that didn't make sense.
In the TV adaptation, they don't even attempt to explain how anything that happens is possible.
The Coen Brothers flirt with fantasy, but their films are - usually - heavily grounded in (some sort of believable) reality.
There are cartoonish elements to a lot of their films (Hudsucker Proxy, Barton Fink, The Big Lebowski) but their films aren't cartoons.
Fargo, the TV show, is practically a cartoon.
Instead of Wily Coyete producing an ACME rocket gun from thin air, we have the supernaturally-gifted drifter Lorne Malvo who can do anything.
He's basically God. Malvo can walk up to someone's house, kill their dog, break into their house (while they're inside), replace their heart medication with amphetamines, and slip out without breaking a sweat or - even - hurrying. He can slip in and out of any house, at any time, without planning anything. He's magic, apparently.
I'm only half way through the first season (is there going to be another one?), but there's no wood-chipper scene yet.
The film was carefully structured and paced. I didn't like it very much, but I recognize the talent.
The TV show doesn't have that. It isn't brilliant. It isn't worthy of the Coen Brothers.
Although I initially didn't understand why it was called Fargo at all, but I get now why it's not a remake or a related sequel/prequel.
It's very different. It's a weird adapted cartoon appendage to a film I didn't love.
But, I've run out of shit to watch. And Fargo is better than a kick in the nuts.