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RCs My descent into alpha-pvp addiction (long and in depth)

down508

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 25, 2008
Messages
777
so far I have written part 1, I will post part 2 in the next day or two. the following is an in depth account of my descent into alpha-pvp addiction and the places which it took me. this has been the hardest struggle of my life, and I'm hoping people who are considering using a-pvp consider what it did to my life. this story is extremely personal, but I feel like it needs to be told.


so in may of 2013 I tried mdpv for the first time. I am 22 years old, I was 21 at the time. I had a lot of experiences with a lot of compounds. I had experienced light stimulant psychosis a couple of times from i.v. cocaine, and once from a 6 day meth binge that ended with me in the psych ward for the first time. I have been in and out of treatment since early 2010, and at the time of trying mdpv I was on suboxone for 18 months, and had been injecting methylone and cocaine occasionally. I'd ordered the mdpv, only 250 mg and forgot about it. it came one day and I shot some. the rush was amazing, and I managed to make the 250 mg last around 5 days. by day 5 I had a DJ gig and hadn't had any sleep since i started the binge. I fucked up at the gig and didn't get to play. I had started to see things out my window earlier that day. I saw things in the trees like squirrels, turtles, fish, and I got convinced that fisher cats were living in the trees and bringing animals they killed up there. my parents were alarmed. when I ran out I slept it off and saw how silly the things I was seeing/believing in were. however a seed had been planted and I had found a type of drug that would drastically change my life.

having had a taste of this type of chemical I decided to look into legal alternatives that would be cheaper and easier to get ahold of. all signs pointed to a-pvp. knowing that I had gone completely nuts on 250mg of mdpv, I stupidly went and ordered 8 grams of a-pvp. when it came in the mail 2 days later I was just getting back from the rmv with my mother. my lisense had been suspended for 3 years and 8 months, and the day I got it back was the day I tried the drug a-pvp. I tried a shot and was blown away by the euphoria and clean feeling. I was probably injecting around 50mg at a time. I noticed that this drug intoxicated me in a way mdpv didn't, almost like mdma does compared to amphetamines. I was afraid to drive on it, and the next morning my mom offered to have me drive us to the mall to get some sandals. I had been up all night shooting a-pvp, so I said I didn't feel well. I kept going all day and the same thing happened the next day. I kept my dosage in that range and used a-pvp for several days until I was at around day 5 without sleep. all of a sudden the fear came.

I was injecting a-pvp in my room when I started to imagine voices in my head. I started to come up with a delusion that there were people outside my window (I lived on the second floor), and they were talking about killing me. adrenaline started pumping and I started trying to talk them out of it. the depths of the dilution were impressive, I had come up with back storys/characters for the 3 people talking outside my window. I ended up calling my mom in desperation, who was sleeping in the other room. the second she picked up I heard what sounded like a bang onto the ground outside and footsteps running away. I was a mess when she came and in and she didn't understand what was going on. they told me nothing was happening and to go to sleep. I started watching a movie and realized I was calming down. I was afraid to have the lights on because they could see inside my window, but when they were off I was afraid of them getting into my room without me noticing. I shot up again and had to call my parents into my room again. the sun started to come up and I kept shooting a-pvp for the rest of the night and the next day. I started noticing small white specks of dirt which I assumed were a-pvp, and despite still having several grams handy I started collecting them. I would spend hours upon hours collecting them.

I had started taking a public speaking class and got off to a very good start before trying a-pvp. I was probably around 135 pounds, 6' tall, which was a lot for me at the time. As I continued to go weeks without food or sleep I fell deeper down the rabbits hole. I developed a distinct theme to the hallucinations, it was demons. I began to believe that my room was becoming infested with demons. I would hear them around my room. I had upped my dose significantly. I would weigh out 500 mg of a-pvp, dissolve it in 1 ml of water, and divide that into 3 shots. I started to notice that I would have distinct auditory hallucinations when I injected these doses, it would often consist of flys buzzing around my room, things crawling under my bed, banging in the closet, voices of my family talking about me, sirens, basically the worst possible thing at the time. the psychosis evolved to the point where injecting high doses of a-pvp would cause things to crawl up from under my bed and attack me. I would feel them if my head was turned, see them in the reflections of things, watch them move under a blanket, and at times feel them moving around behind my head. I began spending entire nights with the lights out in my room, getting chased out of the room. when I would go down stairs I would see things outside the windows and at one point, my back to a cabinet, heard the door slam loudly behind me. I could feel the vibrations in my eardrum when these things happened. there were times where something in my room would fly off the shelf and my mother would yell up from downstairs saying "what was that!?"

at one point i split a 10 gram order with a friend, having him pay for most of it and giving him half. I learned that this drug had a street value much higher than what i was paying for it. he began hallucinating while taking it (he vaped it) and shortly there after he ended up in the psych ward. I was in the habit of cooking up 5 or 6 huge shots at once and keeping them in a syringe, then loading 10-20 units into other syringes and diluting the shot to 1ml. this lead to a situation where I had 1 syringe with over 500mg of a-pvp in it, and another syringe with around 100mg that looked identical to each other. needless to say I confused the two shots one morning, and injected over 500 mg of a-pvp into my arm. I instantly heard and saw flys buzzing around my head. heard screaming, a distinct cocaine like warping of sounds, and hundreds of voices all yelling over one another. my heart rate was extremely high, I had a hard time breathing, I would hold my breath and have to tell myself to breath. the scariest part was I heard and felt popping coming from inside my brain. I surprisingly didn't die, and unfortunately as a result of that incident increased my dose even further.

my mother still didn't know that I was using, but her and my father were convinced that I had full blown schizophrenia. I was so constantly paranoid that I was 10 steps ahead of any possible attempt by them to catch me. my diet began to consist entirely of watermelon and french toast sticks. I had gotten down to around 115 pounds at 6 feet tall. the longer I stayed up the more I could make myself eat. at one point I was able to eat an entire cheeseburger minutes after doing a shot, but even then the a-pvp had jacked my metabolism up so high that no matter what I ate while high, it would have no effect on my weight. the days that I would have public speaking class I would spend the whole day panicking and trying to prepare, but getting constantly distracted, then I would attempt to drive myself to school usually going 50 mph on the highway, pulling over several times because I thought my tire was flat, shooting 200ish mg of a-pvp in the bathroom and going into the class 30+ minutes late. my speeches were atrocious. I would leave halfway through the 3 hour long class as I started crashing and shoot more, go back and tweak out for the rest of the class. there were days that it took me 2 hours just to get the courage up to leave the parking lot. no matter where I was going it would take an extra hour to get there.

the few times I would sleep would be completely by accident. I would be starting to get a handle on the psychosis and starvation, and I would be sitting there in bed on my computer and just nod off in between shots. I'd wake up at noon the next day and within seconds of waking up inject a massive dose of a-pvp. much of my time was spent looking out the window through binoculars. I would see the most extreme things in the woods, things that would blow my mind. my parents were starting to seriously wonder what was going on and I made an appointment with my suboxone doctor to see him at an outside practice. he prescribed klonopin and prozac. no matter how much klonopin I would take, it never came close to touching the a-pvp. the prozac, being an ssri, began to interact with the a-pvp.

there was a night where I was trying to go over to an old friends house. I convinced my parents to let me drive. it took me 3 hours just to leave the house. by the time i left I was a mess. I got lost on the way there, despite living in that town for 20 years. at this point I was down to 105 pounds, 6 feet tall. I stopped at a parking lot to try to get my bearings. a guy pulled up next to me and I asked him to use his gps to get me directions because I was perpetually locked out of my phone. I would constantly press the emergency call mode button on the password screen and spend hours on the phone with verizon customer support trying to figure out what was wrong with the phone. I sat there waiting for the man to produce directions when all of a sudden a car full of young adult men pulled up next to him. it dawned on me it was a trap and I hauled ass away from there. when I got to my friends it was hours after I told him I was coming over. they were visibly aghast by my appearance, and commented on the weight I had lost. I told them how desperately addicted to this drug I was and how miserable it was making my life. I started to come down and shot up in there bathroom, they politely asked me to leave and I got convinced the door leading out of the apartment was locked. they came and opened it fine. the desperate state of my life was starting to dawn on me, I had never been so addicted to any drug like I was to this, and I had never seen a drug wreak such havoc on someones life in such a short period of time. I drove to a neighborhood near my house at around 2 am. my mom had been calling desperately trying to get a hold of me. I later found out she had even Facebook messaged my friend trying to find out where I had gone.

I sat in my car with all the lights off and did a massive shot. immediately after doing the shot I realized that police had pulled up behind me and were sneaking up to my car. I threw the car in gear and stepped on the gas, I felt the car bounce over something and I pulled a u turn and hauled ass the the town over. I realized I was being followed. I started driving faster, taking turns as fast as I could trying to lose the headlights behind me. I blew through red lights and stop signs galore. I drove for hours desperately trying to escape. I was lost and had no idea what town I was in. I had realized that I had ran over a police officer trying to escape. finally I got to a dead end in a town far from mine. it was still dark and as I reached the end I realized I had been caught. I turned off the car and saw the police block off the road behind me. I was by a lake. the sun started to come up and I saw people watching me from their kitchen window as they had breakfast. I thought about what I would tell my parents. I thought about saying I was sorry and that I loved them. I sat there for about an hour and saw snipers posting up in the trees around me. then all of a sudden as it got brighter out it dawned on me, that there were no police. I turned the car around and went to a dunkin donuts to order coffee. I drove away before I could even get it.

I spent some time in parking lots wondering what I should do. I started collecting sand from the floor of my car thinking it was a-pvp despite having a lot of real a-pvp in my backpack. I had started buying a-pvp by the ounce and would make the ounce last less than 3 weeks. I drove to a bar that was just opening up, it was around noon. I went inside and ordered a beer, I drank a couple sips and went to the bathroom and shot a rather massive dose of a-pvp, most likely in the 200mg range. In such a panicked hurry to get out of the bathroom I left a rig on the sink. I went to the bar, took another sip, stumbled over my words, blurting them out too fast to make any sense, and paid for the beer. I practically ran outside and got in my car. I saw a man walking into the bar who kind of laughed at me. I turned on my phone. my mother had texted me many times, she was furious that I had disappeared with her car in such a bad state. I started driving home and realized that I was being followed by various cars, so I pulled into a couldesac. I watched some bizarre activety at the nearest house and saw police setting up in the tree line. a white suv stopped down the street from me and watched. I drove to the gas station to use the phone, locked out of my own phone as per usual. I went inside, got to scared to use the phone and went back out to my car, I had noticed everyone had walkie talkies on their waste. I saw the same man who walked into the bar and said hello remember me? he was clueless as to what I was talking about. I realized I had locked my keys in my car. i started panicking when finally a highway department guy pulled up in a truck. I thought he looked friendly enough, and asked him if he had a slim jim to open my car. he told me he didn't and that I should run inside and try the phone. I went back into the gas station and called my mom, telling her I was having technical difficulties getting home, she asked where i was i said hold on and hung up. I walked back outside and the highway department guy opened the door and said it wasn't locked. I was amazed, but brushed it off like the other bizarre things that had happened to me lately.

I got in my car, keeping an eye on the police watching me from another parking lot. I started driving home and tried to drive right past my house when I got there because I had second thoughts about going home. my mom was waiting in the driveway and stopped me . I got out and went into the house and explained that I thought I had ran over a cop. she looked on the news for the next couple of days to make sure that didn't happen.

the prozac combined with the a-pvp was increasing the psychosis dramatically. I had started to film myself in my room at night through my webcam in an attempt to catch the demons on camera. I whole heartedly believed that I was being tormented by evil spirits. there were at least 5 inhabiting my room at one point, one resembling a cat, one resembling a mini jabba the hut, one looking like an ugly furry rodent like thing that lived under my bed, one in the closet that would rummage around making noise. and the worst one of all I could never tell where it was until it was too late. I would reach into the wrong spot in my room and I would hear it growl like a large dog. at one point I felt one of them bite my arm and it left a mark. i would encounter these things every time I did a-pvp and I was using constantly.

my parents decided to come into my room early one morning and wake me up to catch me off guard. they had determined that I must be using because syringes kept turning up in my room. they found a couple syringes and a vial and said I had to go to the hospital. I begrudgingly went. I had about .5 in my boxers and 2 broken needles that barely worked. in the psych ward I sat there and shot the rest of my a-pvp. there was a camera in my room and it was clear the nurses were aware of it. the doctor said that I had a bed in a longer term program but before I could leave for it I had a freak out and discharged myself immediately. I walked several miles from the hospital to a cvs and bought new needles, injected the rest of what I had and called my mom. she had heard I had ran from the hospital and came to pick me up. within a couple of days I had a new shipment of a-pvp in and it only took me a couple days before my mom took me to another paych ward. I didn't care about anything but shooting more a-pvp at this point. my family would come to visit me but I would just tell them to leave. in the 6 days I was in the psych ward I went from 105 pounds to 135 and had to be kept an extra couple of days to make sure my heart didn't give out.

after leaving that hospital I ordered more a-pvp the day I got back. the doctor there had communicate with my pdoc who prescribed the klonopin and I had an appointment with him a few days later. I got the a-pvp and within 2 days my dad found me lying face first on the floor in my closet trying to shoot the rest of my supply before the police broke down the door. they took me to the psych appointment that day and he section 12'd me to another psych ward. I had 8 grams of a-pvp in my boxers in 2 bags and a vial, I had no syringes and they found the drugs on me in the psych ward upon searching me. they threatened to call the police but never did. all I wanted was more a-pvp. I turned 22 years old in that psych ward, my mother and father came to visit me, I told them not to bring my little sister because I didn't want her to see where I was. she was 13 years old at the time and had witnessed my downfall at the hands of this drug. my parents brought me a cheesecake as a birthday cake, and I sat in a room and ate it with them. they had watched their son go from being of relatively sound mind and body, to a person who they couldn't even recognize. at the time it was very unlikely that I would survive the next month or two. the caseworker there wanted to section 35a me, which would mean a 90 day stay in a state run mental hospital, where I would be detoxed from suboxone. I convinced my parents to let me come home. it had been 4 months of continuous daily use of a-pvp, a total of around 4 oz's all together at this point.

I will continue in part 2.
 
I too used a lot of A-PVP, but not in those extreme doses. I had standard "shadow people" hallucinations once when I went too long without sleeping.
 
I think that a very bad acid trip that I had when I was 18 (somewhere around 2.5 hits of hoffman blotter) really primed the pump for psychosis later on. I ended up totalling a car and getting beat up by cops, thought they were demons bringing me to hell when they were taking me to a hospital and later jail.

I also found that the more a-pvp I did, the quicker the psychosis would come on. whereas when I started it took about 5 days of no sleep and constant use to get me to the point of dissociation and delirium + hallucinations, after abusing the shit out of the stuff I would get there on the first dose. I'll talk more about the after effects and long term effects, but every time I relapsed on the stuff I got more and more lasting psychosis, there was a point where I knew if I used it again I would have serious psychological damage, and I chose to keep going. the doctors kept telling me that if I didn't stop I would find myself in permanent psychosis.
 
So what kept you going when the psychosis hit? I've never done A-pvp, but I've done other stimulants many days straight. By the time I start seeing stuff, the high from fresh doses has diminished to the point that it's not worth using any more, and I begin to come down.

Interesting read. You sound lucky to be alive, sane, and not locked up somewhere. Can't wait for part two!
 
the way I see it is that I was constantly fighting the comedown. I also found that no matter how much a-pvp I would shoot I would still get a rush and a very extreme high. the comedown really isn't that bad unless you are trying to function coming down after a multi day binge. there were times when I would literally fall asleep at restaurant with my family, like heroin level nodding off. they always thought I was high then, but it was actually me not being high.

the point is, if I am coming down and I have more a-pvp left I'm going to keep using it until I either pass out from exhaustion, get locked up somewhere where I can't use, or die. the compulsion to redose is as strong if not stronger than cocaine.
 
For me, the comedown from APVP takes at least a week, depending on how long the binge lasts. And for this incredible chemical, no matter what my intentions are, there's always a binge.

I'm looking forward to part II as well.
 
whats up guys, so I'm going to write up part two in the next couple of days, probably over the weekend. I'm glad people enjoyed the read. I've been very busy lately with trying to get myself out of the mess that a-pvp and my extreme abuse of it made out of my life, but I haven't forgotten about the thread. stay tuned
 
So what kept you going when the psychosis hit? I've never done A-pvp, but I've done other stimulants many days straight. By the time I start seeing stuff, the high from fresh doses has diminished to the point that it's not worth using any more, and I begin to come down.

Even in the grip of psychosis, you can still get high off of A-PVP. But by then, it's likely to turn into a masturbation-fest.
 
strangely enough I didnt masturbate or have sex once on a-pvp, if I was sober enough to not be running around with a kitchen knife I was either cooking another shot or passed out.
 
Wow, that was a harrowing read but I really enjoyed it! Looking forward to part 2 mate.

I'm not very familiar with the a-pvp dosage range but 500mg sounds fucking mental. I seem to remember a while back you posted you had IV'd meth before, how do the rushes compare?
 
Dude. I have used a-PVP just like this. However I did not ever inject. I always smoked and snorted. Please, please post part 2. That was some of the best reading I have ever laid eyes on..... It is seriously insane how fast this compound disintegrates the body mind and soul. One hit, nothing exists except another.

I have only posted like once and your story compelled me to post this.

One thing I have noticed though, is how fast I bounced back from it. Once the ban happened in February, I haven't touched a dopaminergic. I now realized how incredibly obsessed I was. Thinking of it, setting up the schedules to be able to do it, how to pay for it, etc... But once I was forced to stop, a couple weeks later my mind started to heal again. It is truly incredible how we even got money to pay for it.

If you follow up with part 2, I will post my story :D I really hope you are ok, if you ever need anything contact me. I was on it for about a year and a half. I have vended it, sold my car for it, and more. I have been there. Oh look, I made this in February. Wonder why. :)
 
what baffles me most about this story is the fact that you are able to casually order this powerful stimulant online whenevr you please and have it delivered to your home? how do you not get arrested for ordering drugs online?
 
Are you freaking serious? Google
(I was in a rather bad mood yesterday, so I'm sorry to snap at you.)

It is quite easy to find rc vendors even on clearnet, some are even willing to ship where said substances are sceduled, then there is also darknet markets, where some vendors can have very skilled packaging that will pass snifferdogs, scans and even when opened for inspection. From what I've read, some vendors are obviously using less than ideal methods, but even then the percentage lost seems marginal.

There is a risk mostly of customs seisure regarding grey area substances, arrests are rare, but can happen, I only order legal rc's so that's a bit different.

I don't recommend ordering illegal substances especially if you live in the US that would get me paranoid especially with a-pvp.;)
 
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what baffles me most about this story is the fact that you are able to casually order this powerful stimulant online whenevr you please and have it delivered to your home? how do you not get arrested for ordering drugs online?

its hard to get caught via usps . The mail service doesn't open your packages or have police dogs sniff every parcel .. Ordering online is way safer than meeting up with someone in person IMO


-experience
 
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I would love to see that demon footage but would be completely understanding not willing to show your face/state... it would be very educational I think on the effects of advanced stimulant psychosis.

also looking foreword to part 2
 
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