Monkey on my back...

you're most definitely gifted as a writer. prove em' wrong, prove em' all wrong............

wish you and yours the best.
peace
 
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that was an awesome read. actually told some mates about this and they were keen to read it, so ive printed a copy. Seems everyone who reads it is either touched or effected by it in some way.
Brilliant piece of work.
 
Amazing... Brings it all back hard, I've been trying to explain to my wife the frigging despair that came with being put on pain meds after being clean 16 years. I'm printing it off so she can read it.

Thanks for writing this.
 
i have been snorting 200-300 mg of oxycontin daily for 2 years now, i had just quit 6 days ago and i relapsed tonight. searching through bluelight led me to this. i dont know if i can ever quit...
 
Absolutely profound and amazing! It's purrrrr-fect (LOL) What a talent you have =D Thanks for sharing this.
Wow..8o
 
Bump for blah, your stuff is off the way in a that reality seems through the seams of the story you weave.

A+
 
way too long for me to read, i would need ritalin or adderall or E or meth to read that whole thing!
 
What an amazing read. I was spellbound at the vividness of your description. Reminded me of the book "Take the Long Way Home," about author/journalist Susan Gordon Lydon's 25-year struggle with heroin addiction.

Blah, I know you still post on the board and I'm always interested in reading what you have to say.
 
I've never touched the stuff, speed is more my deal. I feel like I have after reading this though. Good writing, fucking awesome.
 
That was almost as good as reading Naked Lunch. Brilliant.

Sounds familiar.

Luckily the 2 times I actually started shooting H it only lasted a month or so then I stopped because my wife busted me and told my parents, they intervened and I stopped. God I remember the first time my wife busted me - I actually had a needle in my arm and she opened the door and saw it. YIKES! The next day she took my then-2-year-old daughter and went to my parents house to live, and she told them all about my little escapades. That fucked my brain up pretty bad to know that my little girl was gone because of my wrecklessness.

But curiosity got hold of the cat soon enough a year later and I got busted by my wife again. Same shit happened except people weren't as nice.

My wife and I had our second child, a boy, less then 10 months ago so now I got 2 kids and recently found out ANOTHER on is on the way! 1 more then I bargained for my friends. Anyway, I only once had a minor withdrawal which consisted of simply feeling like a really bad hangover for 2 days.

So a couple more years past and a grand connection to China White was coincidentally established. I had bad luck with shooting H in the past so I thought snorting it would be just fine and even if I got caught, it just wouldn't be thought of as bad right? since I was just snorting, not shooting, right? No big deal, not dirty needles and bad drug behavior right? Snorting is more responsible right? Not quite - since my brother-in-law just died last Saturday from a combonation overdose of valium, alchohol, and 5 bags of China White Heroine that we snorted over the course of the evening I don't think I'll be getting back into the stuff ever fucking again. He went to sleep and never woke up. Read all about it the Dark Side forum section if you want.

I always thought I had a so-called addictive personality but years later I realize exactly what it really is – I and most other "drug people" are addicted to virtual reality. Some people call it escape, but that connotes people are taking drugs to escape something negative. I've had very large drug collections in the past, and I also have very large book and movie collections. Books, Movies, and the like are also virtual reality. Through a trance-like state, we tune out the real world and tune in the virtual one.

At any rate, that original post is really amazing. It should deter quite a few people.
 
I'm completely speechless... I didn't read all of it, as I may never, but the first half of it left my mind in a twist thinking of surreal visions of my past and present.... shit man, genius.
 
Phenomenal read! This line really stuck out:

“Only when circumstances drive the addict to the anxious edge of withdrawal will a shot of dope trigger the tummy orgasm of yore, thirsty junk cells gratefully gulping.”
 
blahblahblah said:
bump for al you bored ppl

Wow.... absofuckinglutley amazing piece.

I have spent the last three nights reading, and hesitate responding to such a well versed work, but feel compelled.

First, thanks for sharing... talk about the "beat generation" - this gentleman has lived it and makes one think - "There but for the grace of God go I".

We all have our demons and thoughts - this post is the best thing I have read on the internet - ever. Have you ever read anything so honest and close to your own heart? I know I have not.

He makes me realize I need to go back and revisit many of the books quoted and read in our schooling. I am great on reading comprehension, but very few are as gifted as this gentleman with prose - well done, and again, thanks for sharing with the rest of the world... you make us think.

As the observant can see, this is my first post to bluelight.... I have long been a lurker, but never felt compelled to join and respond / contribute until now.

Hope that gorilla is still off your back blahblah - God Bless.
 
wow, and all of you people who cant sit still long enough to read all of this amazingly brilliant piece, your really missing out.
 
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