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Dating someone who admits that they have had a homosexual experience in the past?

O

omnipresenthuman

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 19, 2013
Messages
460
General question on sexual history and present relationships here from a 24 year old guy – just trying to engender some interesting discussion. I originally planned just to ask women their opinions on this topic, but, since this tactic usually doesn’t stop plenty of guys from giving their input regardless, I’m dividing my questions up into categories for both genders -male and female- to answer as specified.

Women – how do you feel about dating guys who admit that they have had a past gay sexual experience?

What if they told you they did give a guy a blowjob? What if they told you that they swallowed?

What if they admit that they fucked a guy?

What if they were the one who got fucked by the guy?

What if they admitted that they were in love with this guy that they had a sexual experience with?

What if they said that they were still attracted to men as well as women, making them bisexual?

Importantly, how much do STD’s and the concern over STD’s factor into your thoughts on this topic?

Men - how do you feel about dating girls who’ll admit that they’ve slept with other girls in the past?

What if they just gave the other girl head? Would it make a difference if either of the girls had used a strap-on or did any other type of sexual position/act, like scissoring or tribbing, etc.

Would it really make a difference if they had used a strap-on on another girl since this means that they had been a top?

Would it matter if they actually loved the girl they had slept with/done something sexual with?
What if they claimed to be presently bisexual?

Importantly, how much do STD’s and the concern over STD’s factor into your thoughts on this topic?

BOTH MALE AND FEMALE – would any of your answers to the above questions be at all affected by your current S.O. saying that their previous homosexual experience was with a transsexual? Specifically for women, further, would it make any difference if the transsexual your guy had slept with was pre-op (still has penis) or post-op (had artificially constructed vagina)?
______

So yea, same questions down for the line for both guys and girls to answer, just trying to make it specific for each gender. And please, everyone, extrapolate on these topics as much as you want. The more opinions and the longer the answers the better in my view.

I’m leaving my own opinion/applicable experiences out of this intro – mainly want to see what other bluelighters have to say first.

NB to mods – this is my first thread created so edit/merge as you see fit.
 
I'm a female and none of those factors would make any difference to me whatsoever. I wouldn't flinch if the guy I was dating told me he had dated or slept with men, women, or trans in the past.
 
^

marry me?


=D

But seriously, anyone brave enough to admit being different is probably a keeper. I mean that in the sense that they are open, honest, and not afraid of being in the light.


Personally I think conservative thinkers just can't get past their assigned gender roles. Or! they are just stupid.

/biased


:)
 
Me? I tell people what I think they can handle.

How do I feel about men or women admitting some same sex experiences?

I feel like we are kin.
 
How do you feel about dating girls who’ll admit that they’ve slept with other girls in the past?
Would it really make a difference if they had used a strap-on on another girl since this means that they had been a top?
No, I don't see why it would.

Would it matter if they actually loved the girl they had slept with/done something sexual with?
What if they claimed to be presently bisexual?
I would probably prefer it to be a female they had feelings with than a male.
Bisexuality doesn't bother me in the slightest.

Importantly, how much do STD’s and the concern over STD’s factor into your thoughts on this topic?
I've never given it any real thought, If i knew they had an STD, i'd stay far away. I guess I don't really view fem + fem relationships as being a breeding ground for STD's.

BOTH MALE AND FEMALE – would any of your answers to the above questions be at all affected by your current S.O. saying that their previous homosexual experience was with a transsexual? Specifically for women, further, would it make any difference if the transsexual your guy had slept with was pre-op (still has penis) or post-op (had artificially constructed vagina)?

No I wouldn't really say so, I'm male and I'd have sex with a transsexual if he was feminine and hot enough. So couldn't really judge my partner for it.
 
I am a woman.

I wouldn't have an issue with a guy I was dating to have had sexual contact with men in the past. We all have our sexual histories and for the most part, unless disease or illegal activity is involved, it's not really any of my business.

People seem so set on titles rather than just being. I may not understand the preferences of others but I at least try to keep an open mind about them.
 
I'm female and I truly wouldn't care about any of it. It takes a lot to freak me out after the stuff I've seen caught up with drugs. STD's would be a deal breaker, but that's about it.
 
Let me clarify:

What I do or have done behind closed doors is only the business of people I trust enough to be partners.

One offs?

Why bother?
 
I am bi, my wife knew that I had experiences with men in the past.
I thought I'd put that behind me but later in life I started to long for same sex encounters again.
It caused problems in our marriage but it changes nothing to the fact that we love each other.
 
My boyfriend has had sexual experiences with guys in the past. I don't care. My boyfriend got himself tested for STIs before sleeping with me (not just because of guys but because of previous girlfriends / friends with benefits).
 
Yea, all of the answers on here are pretty much what I was expecting...everyone on this thread seems to be very open-minded about this topic, and that's being said in a good way.

Well, as for my background/input:

I've slept with girls and multiple pre-op transsexuals before, and yes, I've gone back and forth, and yes I've been tested, and I'm HIV negative.

That being said, I've never told any of the girls I've slept with about my encounters with transsexuals...and it's one of those things that I feel guilty about keeping a secret, but, at the same time, as long as I'm disease free, is it really any of their goddamn business, long term relationship or not?

Also, my past encounters with transsexuals always had a common denominator - speed. I was always high as a motherfucker on speed/amps when I had sex with transsexuals, and it's very awkward for me to talk about all of that background with girls that I'm seeing, especially since I haven't touched either speed or transsexuals for a few years at this point.

At least, in America, I do personally feel like it's easier to say that you're 'gay' or 'straight' than saying, 'Well, I kind of go back and forth...but not with guys and girls, with transsexuals/girls'. I guess it's just me on here, but I HONESTLY, in real life, don't see how any relationship I have with a girl would last very long after me talking this over with her...I'm just being realistic, a lot of people will say they have these open attitudes about people's past sexual history, but when they're actually faced with it, it's a different story. (By the way, I'm not calling out anyone on here when I say that - if you're lying on a forum like this, I have no idea why you're bothering - I'm just talking about people you meet in everyday life...)

I really never see myself being truly honest with a girl about my past sexual history - I just feel like I'm bringing up so much baggage that she really doesn't NEED to know and that could very well end up being a deal-breaker...why take the risk?

I will admit though, that part of my viewpoint is from having just slept with pre-op transsexuals before - yea, they had dicks, but you can say what you want, they were taking on the appearance of a female, they were taking estrogen injections to look more feminine, and their asses were as tight as any pussy...
 
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My gay ex fucked a lot of women and he is out.

Being queer is not a problem when one is hung.

Sex is more psychological than physical with a proper trooper in my opinion.
 
Noodle said:
Sex is more psychological than physical with a proper trooper in my opinion.
Click to expand...

word! as you get older you realise the quality besides technique has more to do with whats going on in your head than anything else
 
i'm a 100% straight male, i had a homosexual experience (let a dude suck my dick) when i was younger cuz i figured i might as well try it, my dick was unresponsive though (no hardness, not even a twitch) so that was it for that.
 
I am also a bisexual female and it wouldn't matter at all. What matters is that we love each other and our relationship is working despite of whatever experiences we have had in the past.
 
it wouldnt matter if it was just an experience. if it was a constant thing, now that different. i have no problem with gay people at all. but the fact that i am now sleeping with someone who has slept with someone of the other sex kinda gives me the heeby jeebies. and as long as she remained faithful to me i would have no problem.
 
I am a guy and not only would I not care, I would prefer an open mind to someone without a past. Most of my wife's/girlfriends have been bi and I have experimented with triads (relationships with 2 girls) if not full blown poly lifestyles. I think in the end you can't choose who you love (or lust for) and what does it matter about a person's sexual history as long as it doesn't bring complications (STDs, crazy ex drama, etc...)... especially if they are with you now. I think the same type of person that would get upset learning that a partner had some same sex adventures would also get angry if someone of the same sex hit on them. I can't wrap my head around either or why it would bother anyone...
 
My girlfriend was in a relationship with another girl for four years just before I met her. This didn't bother me in the slightest; in fact, it was something of a turn on. She never self identified as gay though, nor did/does she consider herself to be bisexual. She just thinks that she was younger and more innocent then and fell in love with her best friend.

Myself, I have had some sexual contact with other guys- only things like mutual masturbation, giving anal sex and giving/receiving oral sex- and my girlfriend knows this and doesn't care. These experiences were mainly when I was also quite a bit younger. I've never really considered myself as gay, but would say that I am bisexual, leaning more towards heterosexual these days- which is a little bit boring I think :\ FWIW, I've never been in a solely homosexual relationship, though did have a kind of 3 way bisexual relationship between myself, a male friend and a female friend, though it was relatively informal and short lived.

I can't see why these sort of things would actually bother people, and if they do, its a good sign that this sort of person is not worth your time. :)
 
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