mdma long term comedown update

[Macenroe]

Hi blue lighters, I am at month 5 of my long term comedown. If you are just feeling anxiety I can tell you that things will get much better, you will recover 100% as I did from my anxiety.

Now at month 5 I don't experiment anxiety anymore but I experiment feelings of detachement like derealization where I look at the mirror and I don't connect with my own image, I don't recognize myself 100% on the mirror if it makes sense.

I am still feeling definetly better at night time with almost no symptoms but in the mornings I feel very much detached, with blurry vision and my perception has changed like if things are not 100% real.


Something that gives me hope is that out of nowhere, I felt 100% good for almost a week with no symptoms at all so that should be a sign that there is no brain damage, just psychological issues I want to think.

Another funny secondary effect is that now sometimes my pupils are not even, one being bigger than the other one specially in the dark. As soon as I receive some sunlight they balance them out and reequilibrate.I always heard that asymmetrical pupils are a sign of brain damage. scary shit


I just snorted 4 lines of amphetamines 5 months ago and since then my perception changed causing me a sensation of head tension with mild headaches. I pray to recover one day.


Any of you can relate to this?

 

[Maya]

Hi Macenroe I still have days where I feel the weird head symptom but it is mostly when I am extremely stressed out and tired like today. It does get better in time and I am assuming that in a few months your symptoms will be barely noticeable same as what has happened to me. Just keep busy and focus yourself on other things and don't forget to take care of yourself like proper diet and exercises.

 

[_DankOpiAmp_]

Unlikely you got real MDMA. You don't "come down" for 5 months unless you dosed so high you almost died. Anisocoria is what the pupil thing is, it's also a sign you are a hypochondriac. My pupils are occasionally uneven and it doesn't necessarily mean anything. Propaganda mixed drug side effects can cause lasting anxiety coupled with realistic psychosomatic symptoms.

 

[Badroll7]

There has to be some way to deal with the head tension. That's my biggest problem now. I'm on a 3 month comedown.

 

[CaseFace]

Unlikely you got real MDMA. You don't "come down" for 5 months unless you dosed so high you almost died. Anisocoria is what the pupil thing is, it's also a sign you are a hypochondriac. My pupils are occasionally uneven and it doesn't necessarily mean anything. Propaganda mixed drug side effects can cause lasting anxiety coupled with realistic psychosomatic symptoms.

I think the OP is talking about recovering from some serious MDMA addiction, not a one time use that he is still coming down from... By coming down I'm pretty certain he means post acute withdrawal symptoms - because it does take quite a while for people to return to normal after quitting any extended use of a drug, especially MDMA.


Stay positive macenroe! You're doing really well and the symptoms will continue to heal with time. Don't worry about the pupil thing, no point in causing yourself anxiety about it. The brain has a way of healing itself over time, so just keep doing what you're doing. As maya mentioned, healthy diet and exercise are huge - studies have shown that 30 mins of intense exercise per day can cut how long post acute withdrawal symptoms can last by up to 50%.

I can relate to the derealization/depersonalization - When I was 17/18 and experimenting with drugs everyday I got to a point where I thought I had totally fucked up my brain and felt depersonalized, derealized, the same detached feeling you are talking about where I felt fake and the world felt fake and I almost couldn't recognize myself in the mirror. It goes away with time.

 

[Maya]

Unlikely you got real MDMA. You don't "come down" for 5 months unless you dosed so high you almost died. Anisocoria is what the pupil thing is, it's also a sign you are a hypochondriac. My pupils are occasionally uneven and it doesn't necessarily mean anything. Propaganda mixed drug side effects can cause lasting anxiety coupled with realistic psychosomatic symptoms.

There is a possibility, I never tested any of the m I took from before or "supposedly m." I am not sure if you have been on the MDMA and Empathogenic Drugs forum but there are horror stories (including mine from before) and some of them had tested their mdma and still got horrible symptoms. I think that some people are just quite sensitive compared to others and if you are not careful, you will suffer the consequences.

Reading through the stories and the recovery stories and based from my experience as well, the brain heals/adapts over time and it gets better as time goes. Unlike other parts of the body, its recovery process is much slower specially through certain drugs including abusing mdma.

It is hard really to know and I will never know what I consumed that night, I have asked a some people and the information varies, some tell me they were probably mdma and that the effects I experienced were based from serotonin depletion while others have concluded that what I had was some research chemical. Whatever that was, I fought the effects and I am still fighting the remainder of it so have a little faith in your brain.

 

[lars90]

I can relate to the derealysasion. After coming of DXM I had that alot also what was scary as shit was me constantly forgetting my thoughts and not being able to picture things esepally faces. I dont thing it was brain damage but more like my anxiety that was doing that. It was horrible to fully recover it took about 10 months after a year I felt really good nd now after 2 years I barly can even belive it happend anymore and its hard to rember how bad I felt back than.

It will all get better bud. Somethings might stay but if that happens you should not look at it as damage but as something you live with maybe a little memory maybe a little warning to never do something like that again. For me its the snowy vision I still have. I notice it allot but it does not annoy me anymore I learned to accept it and live with it :

 

[CaseFace]

How's it going Macenroe? been a few days since you posted this without checking in. Let us know how you're feeling, if your symptoms are improving or whatnot. Hope all is well!

 

[RedLeader]

I took hundreds of pills in 2008, most of them high-quality MDMA. And honestly, the only lingering thing I've noticed is that I get extremely anxious when I think about MDMA or about the rave scene. A lot of the problems I attributed to MDMA absue I think were instead just essential problems I had with myself and reality. This isn't to say that there aren't serious consequences to abuse. But I *personally* feel like my pre-existing neurosis and hypochondria took the abuse and all of the awkwardness from dumb things done while raving and ran with it. I don't think the actual drug messed me up much at all.

 

[BHPaperstacks]

Unlikely you got real MDMA. You don't "come down" for 5 months unless you dosed so high you almost died. Anisocoria is what the pupil thing is, it's also a sign you are a hypochondriac. My pupils are occasionally uneven and it doesn't necessarily mean anything. Propaganda mixed drug side effects can cause lasting anxiety coupled with realistic psychosomatic symptoms.

I dunno, I had a roommate who bought some pills from me and he had a nervous breakdown shortly after. Fucker ran out on rent 3 days before due. Anyway he bought like 6 rolls from me then I cut him off, shortly after that he comes in my room creeping while my gf was asleep. The next morning my girl got up to go to work and he convinced her to sell him 2 more from my stash. This was unbeknownst to me. Then he wakes me up and says his aunt got in a car crash and he needed another 1 to stay up for the plane trip. This ended up being total bullshit but he freaked himself the fuck out when he finally came down but he was having mental problems for months after this bullshit.

 

[thejibberman]

Any updates Macenroe?