Harm Reduction ⫸Should I Try HEROIN?⫷

[ShroomySatori]

Still recovering from binging on it daily throughout december and january. It's almost April? Prescription painkillers (high dose ones) are only now becomimg an option for pain relief any stronger than taking a tylenol. It completely fucks up my life with rebound depression, but I'll do it again down the road. Always do.

By the way I've had sublingual instant release fentanyl (medical tabs) and it was extremely euphoric. It also felt scary similar to heroin in my opinion. I see why it's cut with it now, and it can be difficult to tell. I just didn't think fent was supposed to be all that euphoric but it definitely is, and it can be long lasting too. H has a special soul to it though and a divine cosmic connection.

All February and So far this month I've been a total burnout with the inability to experience pleasure from anything. I'm sticking with pills as there is an enormous difference. It's way easier to lose control and get a ridiculous habit with dope and the withdrawal is so bad to me it is suicidal. It only lasts a short time in the beginning stage. Then it is a never ending struggle. pain pills don't fuck me up a tenth as much and they are still just awful, but have their place in medicine. I could take hundreds of milligrams if morphine and not feel a damn thing after those two months. Dilaudid was no longer an option, well I don't iv at least not yet amd it has been several years. That's one thing I seriously won't do. My life is ruined enough after half a decade of bullshit, I don't need to add needles when sniffing it is awful enough.

It sure is great for back pain though I'll give it that. Only thing that ever made me forget I have a spine problem. I'm able to feel 15mg oxy again. It has taken a very long time. For a while 60mg was pointless. Have I ever suffered due to tolerance issues, while still using pain meds. The high is black magic, incomparable and beyond words though - at least at first and if you have the proclivity for it. Oxy anddilaudid I like just as much in their own special ways but H is the one that really finds a place habitually. I nod and rush better and safer with dillies. I get more energy off oxy. Morphine feels very similar. If you have a tolerance that is too high it is better to cut back.

it's not worth the down that will make you want to kill yourself and nobody ever really does it just once. I read the warnings years ago on here, but I had already made up my mind. It is absolute hell running out once you get a habit. If you don't have a habit, it's dumb as fuck to risk getting one.

 

[Erikmen]

It's not too late to start thinking about giving yourself a break. It's all so sad, but you have the keys of your own 'enclosure' - so to speak. It's frightening when we see ourselves in a dead end but try to see your situation from another perspective. You don't even have to go through so much pain if you choose one of those subs or methadone clinics. Whatever it takes for you to take a break will do. Take care!

 

[subotai]

Well then are they really looking for an answer or just a confirmation of what they already want to believe? I'm all for HR but let's be honest, you can't save everyone. If someone thinks they can be a few steps ahead of dope addiction and goes ahead and tries it, let them find out the hard way. You learn the best through failure.

I'm still quite addicted to heroin, although I only use it two times a week at this point because that's all the money I can allocate to getting high at this point in time. I would like to be able to get high more often, I just cant because then I wouldnt be able to have such a staunch defense for my habit. Is that me having control over heroin? Not at all. I just have a stronger desire to not be a hypocrite to my family. So I'm not two steps ahead of dope, I'm just constantly catching up to it in a never-ending juggling act. Whether that is something to be proud of or ashamed of depends on who you ask but im not really either one of those two, more like somewhere in the middle.

I'm ashamed when I see something I would like to purchase but cant because I spent it on bags. But sometimes I'm actually a little proud when im sitting on my couch fucked up, bills paid, house in good shape, basically all my shit handled for the day, and I can just relax. That I don't feel bad about. I just traded a lot of things I could have done to get high, and that may sound negative in text and out of context but at the same time I could have died at childbirth due to health issues so everything after that is just gravy to me. I'm a glass is half full kind of person believe it or not, I just also understand why some may see it as half empty

so I mean, if you feel like you can outwit Lady Heroin, by all means give it a shot (pun intended). Just dont be surprised if you fall flat on your face or settle for mediocrity like I am currently doing

youre addicted to heroin, arent you Squidward?

its funny to read this now

what a random ass thread. Heroin is the worst decision anyone can ever make.

there is no other answer.

im not trying to scare anyone off, do what you want.

just know anyone who says otherwise is full of shit. Heroin ruined my life but at least I still have one. Can't say that about everyone who uses

peep how many people from the beginning of the thread still post about using. It's not a sustainable lifestyle

good luck if you get into it though

 

[Erikmen]

Nicely put!

 

[Breathe]

Erikmen, you have a lot of really good stuff to say. People, LISTEN to Erikmen.
He knows what he is talking about.

Everybody who's considering doing H... We can all say "don't do it" until we die, and that may not change anything.

I'll do my part and try to say something that makes sense and gets right to the point.

Heroin is unmatched. Nothing compares.
Smoking it is nothing. Snorting it is nothing. Comparably.
If you think you're going to get away with just smoking or snorting, you're wrong.
You'll like it, but only just enough to make you want to do more.
Eventually, the dope will have worked its magic on you - it makes you not care, ignore consequence, feel no pain,
and make really stupid decisions that suddenly seem not-so-bad because you're wrapped in a chemically-induced warm
blanket of satisfaction and glory. That's the magic, and that's how it gets you - it changes you from the inside, out.

You do not know it is happening. You are not fully aware that your morals have changed and your conception of what danger is
has changed because you are chemically altered so profoundly that it's at the fundamental level. The survival level.
Because it has changed you, then shooting up doesn't seem so bad. Everybody does it. It's what everybody talks about, right? It is.

So then you try shooting up... And it. is. over. for. you.
If you survive, you will be under a kind of psychotic lovesick spell and you cannot resist it. It's in you.
At that point, you STILL won't really know what you've done to yourself. At that point, you will have become
convinced at a fundamental, biochemical level that you just found pure love incarnate. You can't resist that!

That's how we get hooked. That's how I went a year and didn't even THINK about sex, even though I was surrounded by
girls with whom it would have been easy to have sex with. None of us really cared because Heroin meets you down at
that basic level of survival, and passionately smothers all those needs in one fell swoop. If you try to convince yourself
that you're fine because you continue to satisfy those needs in actual reality by actually eating and working and drinking water
and having sex.. you'd be lying to yourself. Nothing matches it. No behavior or event or circumstance or emotion compares.

So people - please don't.

 

[MeowMixx69]

Def not worth trying, if I knew the price of "trying" H was losing an amazing man, my job, my apartment, my car. If I knew it meant turning me into a whore, where I would sleep wit my dealer, & manipulate every other guy, 2 convince them 2 buy me more. If knew it meant, it was impossible 2 kick, becuz no one understands & now u have 2 kick it at some creeps place. Looking like death warmed up, vomiting, sweating, diarrhea, chills, kicking & hitting urself 2 find relief. Avoiding temptation, not just while ur kicking, but for the rest of ur life. No trying H, is def not worth it. I have 2 blame my ex, becuz I have 2 learn 2 hate him now. If I ever took him back, I'm sure he would take me down this road again. Maybe we wouldn't b lucky enough 2 make it back than...
Multi-Quote This Message

 

[MeowMixx69]

It's not easy 2 get into those places. All they want us $$$. & if ur lucky enough 2 have insurance that will pay 4 methadone ur suboxone, becuz most don't. If u do get in, they have so many rules, appts; meetings, ur never gonna sleep. The staff never owns up 2 mistakes, it's always ur fault. Ur gonna do what u gotta do, 2 try & make it. Which never comes. Whatever, u sound like u got it all figured out.

 

[MeowMixx69]

I weaned myself off H wit pills - Go 2 a frens & have them help u, slowly taper off. Ur withdrawals aren't as bad. 4 me the depression was the worse, I didn't know that was part of the withdraw @ first. But, it's def tricky, U have 2 find something that counteracts the depression. I'm taking supplements, vita C, B12, Biotin, & Apple Vinegar, also lots of water. Drink alch helped, but I would b several depressed the next day, uppers help ur mood, I can't sleep anyways. Anyways good luck, I have a headache from these uppers...

 

[MeowMixx69]

LoL that's funny, a Giant. We all were the shhh, b4 we got into this. I had a great guy, decent job, apartment, & now I'm most likely going 2 loose my car. I had 2 destroy everything, on purpose, just 2 get away from this drug. Becuz, when u have nothing, that's when it doesn't want u anymore. So now I'm hiding, avoiding everyone. Not answering my ph, cuz there always some guy that wants 2 hook u up. Withdrawing is horrible, I haven't slept in a week, I keep thinking its over & it comes back wit a vengeance. U keep being a giant, cuz fukking around wit H, will show u what's really possible. Maybe ur a mouse...

 

[jasons74]

Please if you know what's good for u stay away I have a h habit and I'm about to commit suicide to quit so please don't take this road wait until you get sick

 

[jasons74]

I relapsed after 2 years going to meetings getting involved. Now I'm in real bad shape homeless again doing whatever I got to do to get the next one I'm telling it's not worth it I'm in wd right now highly suicidal. Plus those who try it for the first time will meet people like me and I don't mean to be ignorant but I will take everything from u that's what this shit does to me. I'm sorry about that but it's reality when I'm clean I'm a good honest person when sick on h I will do whatever I got to do and if you never been where I have been u won't survive cause people like me make sure I'm not threatening anyone but that's how it is where I'm at. You know what I'm doing now I'm crying, yawning, can't sleep, sneezing, basically squinting water out of my ass, puking, anxious, goose flesh, can't eat and this is just day one wow is this shit fun. Don't believe the hype. I'm going to end up dead out here. Bottom line if not from the h than from someone I robbed or by my own hands. So please I beg you stay away. I'm sorry about this post but this is my reality and I pray that no one joins me.

 

[ShroomySatori]

I would never, ever in all my life allow someone to try it. Under no circumstances whatsoever. I could never live with myself if I gave someone their first hit. The suffering is all on me and it's a huge burden to carry around. I mean, sharing party drugs is fun and all, but not this. This is fucking abuse to give to somebody, friend or foe. No matter how much they want to try it, they just don't know and they are better off that way. I understand that misery loves company, and some addicts like to see others start using. I find that disgusting, I would not so much as give a buddy half a percocet. Yet, if it was coke or meth (which I don't do) I wouldn't hesitate to party for a night. This is really serious stuff, it's not a party drug it's something that mainly tortured souls use for temporary relief and if you are going to use it, at least keep it to yourself. Don't pull others in... it's the work of the devil. I understand freedom of choice and all, but fuck this shit. Even several months later, I still don't feel right at this point.

I become desperate when I get low on opiates, and when I don't know if I will be able to source them. For example, I just took 30mg etizolam and 18mg alprazolam to try and calm myself down while waiting to see if I can get hooked up with my fix. If not, I'm in for a hell that is simply indescribably. I will have to cancel my fun weekend plans. I will have to suffer through something so horrific and unbearable that it's just not even worth trying to describe. I normally get by on a few milligrams of klonopin a day for extreme anxiety, and the amounts of benzos I took is not only extremely ridiculous, but a little dangerous too. But, I am so desperate and in panic mode that I'm not thinking straight. I just need the fucking drugs. I need my fucking dope, these benzos are nothing to me. Coke is nothing to me. Meth is nothing to me. I need my fucking dope and I'm freaking out about it.

Why would you try something that destroys people like this? I recall, that it was easy to try. It was easy to keep using. I started getting unbearable withdrawal symptoms 18 months in of chronic use. At that point, I realized that I had long been completely fucked over.

I'm still not giving up but at this point quitting will involve months or years of tapering and I'm not ready for it because all I'm thinking about is that next fix. And all it does, is make me feel happy and normal. It helps me chat up women like I should be able to sober but can't anymore. It completely rids my body of the physical agony of my chronic pain. It relaxes my body from my panic disorder. Whatever is bothering you, it is still there - this stuff doesn't make you stupid - but you become more accepting of it. The problem arises when you run low or run out, and no matter who you are, it will always happen at some point and it is HELL. All that euphoria and fun times, all that anxiety depression pain relief isn't worth an hour let alone a day of cold turkey withdrawal. And you will come to experience the hell that is opiate withdrawal. Why bother risking it for a high? If you're really all that interested, pop a lot of oral morphine or percocet or sniff some dilaudid or something that isn't anywhere near as habit forming as this shit (and those are still extremely dangerous, but nowhere near on this level).

I'm really trying to make positive changes to my life but I need a supply in order to do that. Tapering is my thing... slowly, very very slowly, taking lower and lower doses while keeping track of the times and doses that I take. I cannot handle it any other way with my mental and physical illness. Doctors have fucked my head up so bad at this point by prescribing me shit like seroquel that I didn't need back when I was still somewhat sane, at doses of like a gram a day for anxiety. I refuse to trust a doctor for anything anymore, and for this reason I will not touch subs or methadone. I have no trouble tapering with full agonists. I am making progress, very obvious progress, but still suffering a lot. Quitting is going to be a very long process for me.

Typically, if I enjoy a drug I'd like to use it again. It's very easy to get carried away with dope and if you happen to be one of those people who really, really, really likes it... like you're fucked. Not right away, but the attachment begins with the first hit. And you'll be fucked.

 

[CousinCocaine]

I honestly had my head set on trying it (thinking taking it orally wouldn't be any worse than pain pills), before I read these posts. I'm glad I didn't it sounds way worse than I ever expected. I thought the addiction stories that I heard on the news was just more bs DEA propaganda but hearing it from people who have actually experienced it makes it different. This thread truly is contributing to the goal of harm reduction, that's something to be proud of. I'll be stickin with oxy and NORCOs. %)

 

[Burnt Offerings]

You dont need to trust a doctor to get benefits from buprenorphine...you can just buy them off the street like any other opioid and do your own taper. That's what I've always done...it's better than trying to wean yourself off short-acting opioids (if you do a rapid taper...long-term bupe usage is another story)

 

[Erikmen]

Long term replacement meds can be a nightmare to get off of them. Some people never stopped.

 

[jasons74]

Long term replacement meds can be a nightmare to get off of them. Some people never stopped.

I agree I'm on day two with a taper I refuse the sub clinic because I don't believe I'm clean if I use them just my opinion this is tough but it beats the alternatives. Plus if you take subs for a long period you have to detox off them it's a crazy cycle. I have 2 subs and I'm doing a 5 day taper that someone suggested to me.

 

[Erikmen]

It's indeed quite tough. Good luck with tapering, it takes time until you adjust. Great that you know what you want.

 

[KimDid]

I wish th Chicago's Cook County Jail could do a video of the inevitable effects of heroin addiction. Believe me, I've Sat in the bull pens many times as a female. I've seen as well as been one of the people balled up on the cold concrete floor, sick as a dog, wishing I could just die rather than go through what lies ahead....much worse pain, the weakness that you feel you can't sit up let alone walk, but you have to stand before a judge in a few hours.
Ive seen women throwing up yellow foam while the other 70 women want to and often do beat the hell out of them cause they smell or threw up in front of them. The officers calling them names, telling them what nasty pieces of shit they are, etc., etc. And don't be Gang affiliated as I was because you have to hide it at any cost or get a violation by the others cause heroin is unacceptable in any Chicago gang punishable by a violation.
The men? Oh they got it way worse. In bullpen where there's barely room to stand...get sick & you'll get a beatdown for sure...first by the guys with you, then by the CO's. I watched a man get beat so bad by the CO's I thought he was dead and his 72 year old mom was with us hearing it. Yes his mother. A dear sweet Christian woman who was arrested because the police were assholes and wanted to hurt dude, so they took mom since it was technically her home. After they beat him so bad he couldn't walk, one officer said "should we call an ambulance?" The other one said "no, drag him outside the gates and throw his paperwork away".
Once you've caught a habit....and trust me, you will. Even if you can afford your shit eryday and by some slim chance you manage to keep a job (if not you'll find some criminal means), at some point you'll be locked up cause c'mon...its illegal. Any Amt is a felony. Don't know where u live but here in "Chiraq" you'll not get any help when locked up unless you're enrolled in a methadone program, and here you still won't get it till processed about 2-3 days of feeling worse than you ever have.
In addition, I've been jacked cause when going to the spot My life Mutha Fucka's know you got some money. I've been popped off cause they were doing a sting at the spot.
Man Papito.....bottom line is that it's totally your choice... But think of the long term consequences. I started and never got a habit for a year by skipping days. Before I quit....I had a habit of 24-40 bags a day...a dealers habit. Now this stuff got deadly shit in it. Phentynol for one. C'mon man I been selling the better part of my 20yr habit..these guys don't hire chemists to mix their shit.
Just think real hard cause like someone here said... Me telling you don't do it won't help any more than printing say no to drugs in the lid of a box of candy will.

 

[KimDid]

MeowMixx69 YOU'RE MY NEW HERO!!!

LoL that's funny, a Giant. We all were the shhh, b4 we got into this. I had a great guy, decent job, apartment, & now I'm most likely going 2 loose my car. I had 2 destroy everything, on purpose, just 2 get away from this drug. Becuz, when u have nothing, that's when it doesn't want u anymore. So now I'm hiding, avoiding everyone. Not answering my ph, cuz there always some guy that wants 2 hook u up. Withdrawing is horrible, I haven't slept in a week, I keep thinking its over & it comes back wit a vengeance. U keep being a giant, cuz fukking around wit H, will show u what's really possible. Maybe ur a mouse...

You, Girl, You are the shit!! Everything you said I can relate to.... Especially people coming to hook you up and you don't wanna be sick but you don't wanna use. It so sucks...btw it never happened when we were sick & wanted like hell to use.
But you have something I wish I had....NO FEAR ?. I commend you for your drive. YOU are definately a GIANT.
Right now I FINALLY quit (had a huuugge dealers habit)but I had to do it by tapering down methadone I buy- 240mg...now down to like 28mg a day since I started with 240mg in November.

 

[Erikmen]

^ down to 28 from 240mg. That's quite an accomplishment. I have had it after using 60-70 mg for so many years. I felt I had no life.
The constantly need and also being so dependent on doctors to avoid getting sick. I could see myself doing that for the rest of my life. No easy way out though.

I wish th Chicago's Cook County Jail could do a video of the inevitable effects of heroin addiction. (...)

....bottom line is that it's totally your choice... But think of the long term consequences. I started and never got a habit for a year by skipping days. Before I quit....I had a habit of 24-40 bags a day...a dealers habit. Now this stuff got deadly shit in it. Phentynol for one. C'mon man I been selling the better part of my 20yr habit..these guys don't hire chemists to mix their shit.
Just think real hard cause like someone here said... Me telling you don't do it won't help any more than printing say no to drugs in the lid of a box of candy will.

Indeed. No happy end after you do it.