I'm not a drug user. I'm 23 and I have only taken a handful of hits of weed with friends in high school. I do have an addictive personality though as it runs in my family. I am probably addicted to video games. My uncle and aunt were both heroin addicts. My mom is an alcoholic. This past year my brother became a heroin addict. He is 18. Throughout the year he sold almost my entire video game collection as well as consoles to support his opiate addiction. I didn't know why he was stealing and selling my belongings at the time, he said it was just for weed and cigarettes which was a lie. I thought he stopped stealing for a while, but it only seemed like it because he was taking my moms debit card and taking out 100s of dollars a week. When she found out she cancelled the card. I work at night so I sleep until 2 pm. A few months ago he began taking my car and my wallet and withdrew 800 dollars from my account over the course of 2 weeks. He knew my PIN number because I let him take my card once when I trusted him before he used drugs. So basically he was stealing constantly, and it finally came out that he uses heroin because his codependent boyfriend overdosed on Xanax and heroin. Since then my brother has been going to intensive out patient and narcotics anonymous. He totaled his car going to a drug deal so my parents take him to all the meetings.
He works at dunkin donuts and is on suboxone. He still uses heroin, I think some kid drops it off for him at our house. My brother is still stealing things, he recently stole the Xbox and traded it in. I bought a small safe for my belongings. My parents have to hide every car key and wallet or my brother will steal it. It's so easy for him to be an addict with a roof over his head and my mom cooking him dinner every night. I have anger issues myself and I have had a huge amount of anger and rage towards my brother for doing this to our family. He is completely submissive to his codependent boyfriend. His priorities in life are #1: heroin and his heroin addict boyfriend. He doesn't care about anything else. I can't trust one word that comes out of him. I have lost my temper and punched him in the face on two occasions. I want my brother to get better but his idea of me supporting him is enabling him and trusting him completely. He thinks its "ridiculous" that I don't forgive him for stealing hundreds of dollars of video games and hundreds of dollars of money I worked hard for. I will forgive him when he stops using drugs. He has made no effort to pay me back while he uses his paychecks on more heroin.
I was so angry I was about to call the credit card company and report him for identity theft. I am still tempted to do that because my parents enable him and he has faced zero consequences. But the American criminal justice system is terrible and I don't want to make him unable to get a job because of him stealing from me. I want to support him but my anger at his constant lying makes me lose my temper and I will verbally abuse him and call him a "faggot pathetic drug addict piece of shit".
I don't feel good about myself for being an asshole and I know it won't help him. But I'm not perfect. I have anger problems. It's not fair that he gets to do this to me and my family. He doesn't have remorse and heroin is his number one. My parents take him to meetings with his codependent boyfriend and they are BOTH still using. As far as I know my brother does not shoot up he just sniffs the heroin out of an empty ballpoint pen. My brother is on his first attempt of recovering and I'm trying to support him. I miss the person he used to be. He had a great sense of humor and we would hang out and laugh all the time. But since last year when he decided he cared about nothing but heroin the brother I knew has transformed into a gaunt and emaciated liar and thief.
I believe a small part of him wants to stop using but he doesn't really want to stop because he is comfortable and supported and not at rock bottom. I want my parents to kick him out. When I said he's stolen too much from me and I can't trust him or forgive him he says "they're just material things! Who cares!" He basically refuses to admit he did anything wrong and acts like he is a victim. Last night he was on the phone with his boyfriend outside and my mom looked outside and then my brother came in screaming that my mom was "spying on him" and invading his privacy. I said he has no right to feel entitled to act like he owns the house. It pisses me off so much that he continues to walk all over my parents and keep using drugs while half assedly going to meetings and using suboxone. I fucking hate the drug addict he has turned into. Sorry for the long post. Does anyone have any words of advice? What are some steps I should take with myself and my family to help my brother? Should we give him an ultimatum of going to a 100 day program or being kicked out of the house?
I will greatly appreciate any response. Thanks.