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Vodka and Seconal... my demise.....

bdomihizayka

bdomihizayka

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 30, 2012
Messages
582
Hey guys I am new using this. Sorry for my english, I am from Russia, name is Tanya...

I am addicted to anything that is not relate to sobriety... I want to be constantly fucked up. From vodka (my maintenance drug <snip> ) to opiates, barbiturates, speed, x, etc... but mainly vodka and opiates and barbs now....downers...)))

I am sensitive to drugs, it seems I use seconal once, for example, and i feel out of it and slow and depressed all week until i feel myself again.... same with drinking, i take a long time to be recover from any drug.... and it makes slow, depressed, out of it days.... the consequences to my drug use far surpass the actual highs, but i cant stay away. a 4 hour high will make me feel shit all week....

For my situation, I am waiting one year to go back to school... i am so bored and depressed, noting to do, no friends... just drugs... cold, dark winter... you get the pic?)))) Just sitting at home is so boring and it seems everyday you wake up, your old same environment gets drearier and drearier...((((( hard to explain understand?))))

i need to break this cycle... i dont know how...

Just any suggestions I think.... I appreciate it
 
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Do you live in russia or another country?

I know russia doesn't have very good assistance for drug addicts, but many other countries have great addiction services, some even at little to no cost.

I know how you feel, I'm in a similar situation, minus the drugs. Got sober at rehab (again) 5 months ago. Still trying to put the pieces back together, But trust me, it does improve with time once you stop using!
 
From Russia at this time unfortunatly(( Yes we have really no support here... and even mental health is not adressed. The cycle needs to be broke you are right...

I dont know how to be withdrawling from seconal... i know you can die?

I take usually around 1000-1200mg 5 days from a week
 
If it's not every single day you're already a step ahead. I would taper off and stop entirely. Then look into NA/AA meetings. I know they have them worlwide, They probably have them in Russia. It's probably one of the only places you will find support and knowledge about being drug/alcohol free.

Stay strong! <3
 
Thanks for the support))) I what is this with meetings? AA NA??

And one more thing.... i cannot find...what the LD50 for secobarbiturate is.... I don't know if I am near deadly dose now(
 
bdomihizayka said:
Thanks for the support))) I what is this with meetings? AA NA??

And one more thing.... i cannot find...what the LD50 for secobarbiturate is.... I don't know if I am near deadly dose now(
Click to expand...

LD50 of Secobarbital is 125 mg/kg in rats (prescribing info indicates a fatal blood level is between 15µg/ml and 40µg/ml).

And here is information regarding Russian Church-Based Alcoholism Treatment and Prevention.
 
40% of russian men are alcoholics? wow.... im knowing the average age for russian male is 57 I believe((( thank you for the link Rabbit) I'm so ashamed to be like this.
 
Don't be ashamed. From what I've learned of Russian life (from friends both from and currently living in Russia), it's quite easy to fall into the depression/addiction spiral.
 
Please loose the shame and guilt as it does nothing for us and there is no reason for it<3
 
AA/NA meetings stand for "Alcoholics Anonymous" and "Narcotics Anonymous", respectively.

They are free support groups all over the world where millions of people like us (lost, drug/alcohol addicted people with nowhere to turn) meet and talk and relate to each other, and work a program of recovery where we achieve a happy, sober life. Google AA meetings in russia. You will find other like minded people who have been through what you're going through, they will know exactly how you feel, share their stories, and help you to recover. :)
 
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Hey zayka <3

Here are a few links.. you seem like a really intelligent and amazing person.. I encourage you to take an active role and please consider contacting smart and seeing about starting meetings in russia.. dont be afraid.. they can be used in conjunction with the fellowships of AA?NA or alone. From what we see as far as the alcoholism, krock and everything else it is desperately needed. You can do this;)


Addiction Guide

SMART Recovery (Support Group information and discussion) YOU CAN START A MEETING !!!!!

Twelve-Step Addiction Recovery Support Groups

Varied Approaches to Addiction Recovery



A.A. Resources in Russia

AA Saint Petersburg - Russia

English speaking meetings in Russia
 
Thank you both for the encouragement and information! I took the time t read it very useful))) I made a contact and am meeting my doctor in a few hours, so he can get me off alcohol and tell me what to do about secobarital....and have a meeting at night... it's intresting, never knew drug users go and meet with each other))) You people are amazing... thank you)))
 
That's what we're here for! This is a great community for getting and giving support. <3


Stay positive, stay strong, and take action. :)
 
Well it's certainly very pleasing to see you go and seek assistance so quickly!
I'm proud of you; it's not something you should feel ashamed of..
You fell victim to substances like many other humans on this earth, the only thing separating you from a lot of others, is that you actually want to help yourself <3 this makes me so happy.
Good luck with the meetings!
Let us know how it all goes :)
 
My doctor give to me Phenazepam to take ever day from 12 days and low the dose until end. Also tell me to take the Secobarbital same way, slowly stopping my dose. Went to a meeting here in moscow and wow, I enver expect see so many people from diff area of life who have drug problem))))) Everybody was so nice and wanting to knw me and my history more and it was overwhelm but I am thaNKfuk this is best support I ever had.... and the give me numbers and I need to find someone to guide me through the instructions of this institution.)

Thank you so much bluelight... you have all maybe saved my life

ps... I wear makeuo and a cute dress first time in months it seems.... I am start to look like the old. beautiful girl i was
)))

<3
 
Hey thats great bdmihizayka.. way to take a strong approach to your recovery.. please keep us informed.. you can do this!!!
 
Привет, Tanya. :)

(I'm an English speaker from the US and I hope I spelled "hi" correctly!)

Seconal and vodka is a combination I would not try to manage on my own. Please be sure to drink a lot of water, eat a healthy diet, and stay away from other drugs. 12 step programs work for many people. I encourage you to keep up the good work. There is no substitute for effort.
 
Here is to just bout 1 year sobriety))) And i wanted to thank everyone on this forum to for save my life.))) Because you really all did make a big difference.))) Much love and vibes to yous)) it was hard and painful, but was done. alcohol is unavoidable in Russia, but i have no unmanageable urges since i stop doing. i followed all advice here!!

But my good friend who let me write here this on bluelight. the real bdomihiazayka...hes not great from losing 2 friends so fast and close together. i pray he stays away from heroin.


i love you all...)))
 
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