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  • EADD Moderators: axe battler | Pissed_and_messed

The Sad Thread (Anti-Snoo) 2 - Tory Britain in Flames

gettin pissed about by doctors, feel like shit especially today, travelled 4 times just this week, at 9, into the town and back, just to take urine tests for a minute, whilest having no sleep and in WDs, got another week and a bit of this until my next proper appointment, with all this rain its gonna kill me before the gear family are getting annoyed at me for the fact my treatment aint goin faster, not a happy matty, feel like death, bloody subutex
 
matt<3ketamine said:
gettin pissed about by doctors, feel like shit especially today, travelled 4 times just this week, at 9, into the town and back, just to take urine tests for a minute, whilest having no sleep and in WDs, got another week and a bit of this until my next proper appointment, with all this rain its gonna kill me before the gear family are getting annoyed at me for the fact my treatment aint goin faster, not a happy matty, feel like death, bloody subutex
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Hope everything picks up for you soon, man. <3
That rain's fucking awful today, tho.

I walked for an hour in it, was literally dripping when I got inside.
 
cheers man, the weather really adds to it
gonna be getting me flu jab soon, def be riskin it coming in soaked to the bone aye
 
Sammy G said:
His carer was the one who suggested a letter, as it's through her responding to my sister that it all kicked off. She tried to get him to speak to my sister on the phone and he wouldn't speak directly as he was on the verge of tears, but he said hello from the background. He also talked about me quite a bit with his carer, as he'd just found out about my diagnosis through my sister's letter. Still regards me as 'a real clever lad', apparently. Fuck knows why. :)

Essentially, he's a bit reluctant, but his carer has told him he has to see us, so I'm a bit stumped as to the next step. Obviously it will involve a visit at some stage, and my little sister is definitely coming along, but until we get some kind of further response from his side it's difficult to know what to do and when to visit. I'd feel uncomfortable just turning up, but I think he's terrified himself. There's a lot of guilt and 'complication' in our relationships anyhow. I know that's the case in many families, but this one is especially dysfunctional.

This will be the third or fourth time we've been reunited and it's always been difficult as he's such a macho guy that he can't even open bithday present in the same room as somebody lest he show some emotion. I'm not even lying.

You're right though - even if he's a drooling mess, then it'll bring some degree of closure. I hope.
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Wow this is a really difficult situation - can you and your sister not print out some photos for him/burn a CD (even if the carer plays for him)? Send them along with a couple of letters or give to his carer - this might make it easier for him to go from not seeing you for a few years to all of a sudden interacting with you again?

Maybe once he see's how you have both changed it may spur him to want to see you again (however difficult that may be).

His carer obviously knows whats best for him and sounds like she is doing what she can for you all.
 
Sorry if this has been answered aint read though the hole thread. Are people giving the job center there ujm password? because it is not mandatory you can refuse! Also if you get sanctioned keep appealing it to the top you will get your money in the end.
 
Thanks for the well wishes yesterday. Despite it being gale force winds, we eventually visited the crematorium at 4.30pm, just as it stopped raining, and laid flowers and all blubbed like babies. Then we went for a family meal, which is becoming a more frequent occurrence, ironically since mum died, but she'd be happy about us getting along much better than we have been for the last few years

Cheers anyhow BL folks <3
 
Bearlove said:
Wow this is a really difficult situation - can you and your sister not print out some photos for him/burn a CD (even if the carer plays for him)? Send them along with a couple of letters or give to his carer - this might make it easier for him to go from not seeing you for a few years to all of a sudden interacting with you again?
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I wrote to him last night. Rambled on, told him I miss him, gave my number and said I'd love to hear his voice again but I know he isn't a phone kinda guy. I'm hoping to get a call and we'll go from there.

Cried like I haven't cried in years afterwards, but the relief was amazing.

I did think about a photo but I realised I don't actually own any recent pictures of myself (apart from some, erm... 'unsuitable' ones :D ). The CD is a damn good idea actually - wish I'd thought of that! A voice is so much more personal, and it would've given me a chance to say more than a letter.

I was always much closer to him than my sister so we're thinking that me making contact will be the clincher. Here's hoping!

Thanks for the suggestions. :)
 
I'm bringing this over from the Mugz RIP thread by way of an HR warning. Angelsmoke reported the inquest verdict. Not opiates or opiods. Not booze and benzos. Not GBL.

If you're reading this Angel, sorry for bringing it up, but you mentioned it only the other day so I don't think I'm re-opening healed wounds. And hopefully it gives people pause for thought, people who wouldn't normally pause.

Some STIM is what got him.

I think stims often seem a physically safe option. Not necessarily so. And considering he was hitting the downers quite hard when he was last on BL, well, he had plenty opportunity do go the downer route, but no. Stims :( I don't want to speculate further about his death, but I reckon a downer death is a potentially nicer way to go, at least for the one who goes. Just hope it was quick :( and as she says it was "not OD", it seems possible it was fairly quick, like not overheating, but the reporter was ejected from the court room, so we don't have full details. Guess we don't need them.

Play safe people, including stim lovers. A lot of you don't show much restraint.
 
Er, with respect knock, and literally to Mugz and Angel, 'some stim' is not what Angel was saying when she first reported this. Then it was 'unknown cut' in some (named, but I've forgotten exactly and don't want to guess) RC. I'm not saying that's any better or worse, I am saying that 'some STIM' isn't the words Angel used at first.

I think the 'NOT OD' is the important bit here. The inquest sounded pretty poor, or maybe it was because the full story wasn't caught, but it did definitively say the amount of drugs in his system was not a factor in his death because he only had small amounts.
 
It was speculated that it was an unknown cut in the stim they found in his bloodstream that was responsible. It wasn't confirmed.

I wasn't aware of the stim having been named either - the newspaper report only mentioned an 'ecstasy-type substance'. Which could be any one of a number of RCs on the market. RCs which are more or less unknown to most medical professionals, which I assume is a factor in the vagueness of it all.

Nor was it 'definitively' established that the amount of drugs wasn't a factor; all that was stated was that the amounts would not normally be enough to kill somebody, but as the stim in question was described as 'ecstasy like', maybe that assumption was based on the LD50 of MDMA?

Ultimately, had he not been taking the stims, he wouldn't have died. I think it's important that anybody considering the use of RC stimulants remember that these are for the most part untested compounds and you are playing with fire every time you use them.

Now we can all agree on that, can't we?

Best to leave it there, for the sake of Martin's loved ones.
 
No need for respect for me, even if it's not literal :), just show me the post actually don't do that as I agree with Sam, we have the "established facts of the inquest", however reliable they may be and we're not going to improve on that through speculation, all that will do is cause more stress.

Angel seems to believe the inquest report. Good enough for me. Seems kinda important as stim users can be blase. Me included.
 
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Could've sworn there was an angry thread somewhere but I can't seem to find it so I'll just post in this.
Moved to Sydney about a week ago which was fucking stressful, leaving fiancé/friends/family behind for 5 months. A few 'friends' and I here have been looking for a place to live, we all found something today which they can all afford but I can't, at all. I've basically got no money right now because there's an issue with my bank, will be homeless as of tomorrow aaand all my 'friends' had promised that we'd all stick together but apparently that doesn't count if they all find something and I don't. So took about 8mg xanax and it barely did anything. That and SSRI WDs. I wanna go home :(
And now I'm thinking about Tom and want to go home and be with my fiancé even more :(
 
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Pagey said:
Could've sworn there was an angry thread somewhere but I can't seem to find it so I'll just post in this.
Moved to Sydney about a week ago which was fucking stressful, leaving fiancé/friends/family behind for 5 months. A few 'friends' and I here have been looking for a place to live, we all found something today which they can all afford but I can't, at all. I've basically got no money right now because there's an issue with my bank, will be homeless as of tomorrow aaand all my 'friends' had promised that we'd all stick together but apparently that doesn't count if they all find something and I don't. So took about 8mg xanax and it barely did anything. That and SSRI WDs. I wanna go home :(
And now I'm thinking about Tom and want to go home and be with my fiancé even more :(
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Pagey that's shit :( where are you staying at the moment? Are they not letting you kip on the sofa till you find a place you can afford? Who are these cunts and where do they live? <3

I would also try, if you can, to see it as a challenge, which it is, one that you can rise to. Can you speak to the guidance people at the uni and tell them what happened? Most unis have some relationship with local landlords and can assist with accommodation, or at least that's how it used to be in Scotland. You're meant to get support from your institute of education.
 
Edited cos TL;DR.

Charity collector knocked on door. Collecting for Marie Curie. Told me all my neighbours had donated and then asked if I could. I basically went into stutter mode like I can't afford to because I am essentially in debt and prone to forgetting direct debits that aren't bills and going overdrawn. He went from smiling to 'ok' and walking off after I finally managed to explain that I donate to charity on my own grounds, and especially to cancer charities.

I know why they do it, and it's necessary, it's just so hard to say no after they've done their talk, just feel shit cos of how his attitude changed and just upset me how I feel like he just thought I was a student who didn't give a shit, having answered the door in boxers and a hoody and looking like death. I really care, about a lot of things. Hell, I spent a year paying a donkey sanctuary cos I was on acid and it made me cry, but was on dole then and had no out goings. Now I do and I'm finding it hard to figure out finances anyway.

If I can afford to and want to donate to a worthy cause then I will.

Just feel sad cos I did wanna give, just got no cash spare. I donated to the fund at the top of EADD cos I wanted to and at the time had a bit more money. Anything I have now is either in savings to pay bills or...well that's it.
 
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Feel your pain, Snollz. They don't come around here often but when they do it's the exact same spiel. Half the time it's been a charity I actually wouldn't choose to support anyway (usually animal charities - not that I hate animals or owt, just think people are more in need) but still manage to make me feel guilty. I can't have any direct debits taken from my account cos it automatically overdraws me so it's not like I'm singling them out or owt. If they'd accept a one-off donation (and was a charity I supported) then fairy muff, but guilt-tripped into setting up a direct debit can get to fuck.
 
Yeah, it sucks don't it :( I have a few charities I support (am different in that I will support animal charities except pandas cos if they can't figure out how to bang it's their own fault) but a lot of the doorstep ones aren't something I'd donate to, apart from the one earlier. If they come round with cash boxes I'll chuck a few quid in, but if it's direct debit forms and that, sorry but no. With you on the 'one-off donation' thing, like I said above, but it rarely is. Hate wandering round the city centre cos they launch themselves at you and I'm perfecting my 'I am not in a talking mood' face. Also dunno if most cities do this (not well travelled) but the middle of 'ull has big vans set up flogging Lovefilm subscriptions and Sky TV aimed at students and they're not even a good cause and you see them making a fucking bee-line for you.

I think my new mode of attack is going to be 'sorry I'm under 21' cos I look it half the time.
 
Open the door and before they have chance to speak say 'oh I thought you were the ambulance'

Works for me.
 
I just dont answer the door for anyone i dont know, except for the postman, get so many people knocking on doors round here wanting your money, they are so persistent that you cannot politely get rid of them, ive learnt the hard way. British Gas man was going mad at me because i didnt want to switch over to them. There was once a girl selling her artwork door to door, i dunno why i ddnt open the door for her, but i did once let a chinese Theology student in to talk to me about Mother God when i was coming up on MXE. She tried phoning me several times afterwards but when i kept on failing to pick up the phone she finally gave up. I wouldnt have normally opened the door for her, but the MXE seemed to make me feel more sociable than normal.
 
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