killacali000
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2014
- Messages
- 53
i feel great but it's not enough, i still feel which is for me pointless since i'm just waiting to die
Ok i dont know why im doing that. Im a bad drug addict. I lost my home and car due to drugs and my son but now ive quit drugs methodone for 17 days now and now i see i messed his life up and mine. His mom left him two years ago. She like me had a bad addiction. Everytime i talk tohim i wanna die cause the guilt is horrible. He just needs me but my guilt doesnt allow me to forgive myself
When feeling suicidal, call to God. Pray. It's worth a try.
Unfortunately you can never be sure. It could be way worse and irreversible..
Or waking up differently, with permanent damage..
I´m sorry you are going though this. Everything is life is a phase though..
i know how i'm going to die, suicide by cop
The wait is aweful. I truely understand that feeling. I've been playing with death for years. I just woke up from a night terror, damn Ptsd, again and came across this post. I want to say something positive, beautifully poetic and inspiring, that thing that will make you feel ready to face and dispell whatever terrors haunt you. But I have yet to figure out how to beat my demons, the ones that have me screaming at myself in nightmares to wake up. The ones that have me smoking a cigeratte and posting here instead of getting much needed rest. I guess the best I have is this...You are not alone. You can make it through another day, another week, another year, if you so choose. And if you do, if nothing else, life guarantees you one hell of a ride. Sending peace and light your way.