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I just need to post Vs. wisdom, beauty, and baggage.. here hold this bag and ponder.

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neversickanymore

Moderator: DS
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This is a place that has no rules except for the rules of BLUA and the recovery forums... so post away.. double post.. throw out that wisdom and get that shit off your chest=D

HEY GUYS.. a little about this thread.. this thread was created to allow people to post a wide variety of things that may not warrant their own thread. Its meant to be pretty light hearted and it is hoped that it will provide a place in TDS that has a little less seriousness than allot of our other threads. Lately it has been generating allot of problems. It has sparked allot of bickering and other issues. If this continues then we will have to close it down and I feel this would be unfortunate as if treated right this thread provides a solid purpose in TDS. I would hate to see the freedom of this thread be lost because we chose to use it in inappropriate ways.

So why dont we expand the rules just a bit so we can give this thread one more chance to behave. So please follow the BLUA and the The Dark Side Guidelines. Drug talk is allowed in this thread but still not in a manor that is against the these guidelines. We put the trigger warning as a precaution for those who come to this thread and assume it has nothing to do with drugs. If you feel the need to rant please use the vent/rant thread. If you have an issue with BL or staff this is not the place to voice it so please use the proper avenues to do this. These would include PM to staff and senior staff. This also isn't the place to come bitch or vent about another BLiter you may not be getting along with or a place to bicker or squabble. If you want to tussle a bit and do a little back and forth I'm sure you can find a suitable thread in the lounge. Since there are likely to be allot of different topics covered here If ideas that aren't against the user agreement or the forum guidelines may offend you then I suggest that you not visit this thread so you won't be offended. Also there has been allot of disruptive posts that involve one Blue Lighter telling another Blue Lighter how to post. If you feel a post is inappropriate then please report that post and then proceed on with your day. As staff we are diligent and properly consider the reported post quickly. If no action is taken then the post was deemed appropriate. If not the correct action will be taken. It is disruptive and argumentative to tell another BL what to do as far as posting. This sorta behavior just causes bickering and drama and hampers the threads thus it is disruptive and infraction worthy and will no longer be tolerated. So please if you have a problem with a post please just report it and we will deal with it correctly.

This statement is not aimed at anyone in particular as we have been having allot of problems with this thread. So if you have the feeling that this is a direct at you its not as we have had allot of people adding to the drama and problems that have mounted with this thread.

So we will give this thread another chance and see if it turns into something positive for TDS as it was intended. If however it continues with its current problems it will be closed. Thanks for taking the time to read this and for any effort you put into continuing this thread. I hope you all are doing great and I wish you a nice day.

Respect and Regards
~NSA

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is this strange

my mom left when i was 3 didn't see her again till i was 7 and it's been about once every 3 to 4 years since then so is it weird that with chicks ones i'm dating or not i cuddle up with them and talk about my problems and have them take care of me and tell me everything is gonna be fine and once they calm me down and cheer me up i make them dinner
 
It's not technically strange. Many people have similar issues with relationships with females due to inconsistent or absent mothers. However, people will view it as strange behaviour sometimes.

Are you currently seeing a shrink? It's something you should bring up with them if you haven't already.
 
i will tell you that from my experience it is very unattractive to most women when the man needs to be taken care of in this way... Women like security and like to know that they are gonna be taken care of.

just my 2cents.

sorry that your mom wasnt there for you man.
 
Most men like to be babied lol...l don't find it unattractive personally. l love to take care of the people that l love.
 
I like to pamper my man and take care of him in anyway needed.

I don't find it strange at all.

Most women don't mind "taking care" of there guy because it's like a mother instinct to nurture and care for people that they love.
 
thank god i'm not some lame emo dude from the sounds of it i'm normal in this matter
 
yes you are sexy and you made a sexy thread= win

haha I'm so off topic.
 
i'm just gonna go out on a limb here and assume estimated prophet is a dude most chicks i've known like to make me feel better when i'm feeling down and i in turn like to cook them dinner or go out or something friend or gf either way same deal
 
abandonment issues

my mom left when i was 3 didn't see her again till i was 7 and she had a daughter since then i've seen her about once every 3 years and now when friends or family doesn't want to chill or anything i feel lonely i don't know if that is just a normal reaction or if i have some leftover pain from basically losing my mom
 
I know you are fully grown flowers so i would hardly call this abandonment.. why dont you try and establish an enjoyable area of mutual interest between you and your mother. If you are able to do this you may be able to rekindle a stronger relationship.
 
i'm not saying i'm abandoned currently i mean the abandonment as a child may have had a lasting effect on how i feel about people not wanting to hang with me
 
what happens if someone rejects you? does that mean that you are not worthy.. does that mean you aren't good enough? does everyone that meets you have to approve and love ya? since the world is full of idiots, one of them is me, does that mean it stops turning and life comes to a halt if some person decides they don't want to hang out with you? do you want to hang out with everyone you come across?
 
i actually don't want to hang out with most people but the people i get to know are usually pretty chill and koo and if they turn down chillin with me i feel real lonely like i don't have anyone and i get sad/depressed
 
That leftover pain is hard to get rid of. People can tell you to get over it and that's easier said than done. I can tell you a story: I had an uncle that went through this, I had no idea until my step-mom told me many years later once I was older that they did not grow up as a "real family". So the story went, my grandma pretty much dumped him to live with other relatives when she found a husband. This was back in the 1940's and I guess she was trying to avoid the "bastard child" stigma.

They did not move him too far. I can't remember which brother thought the other resembled him closely at a high school function. Eventually it all came out though. My uncle was traumatized and even years later, as a married man with kids and he only told his wife how badly he suffered because of it. Shit like this just doesn't go away over time, you always remember it. It's really sad when I think about this now. I'm sorry Mr Flowers in this day and age you have to deal with this too. :( It's fucked up, kids shouldn't go through that.
 
You may be determining you worth on other opinions?

No, I mean not in this scenario if this was directed to me. I can only say that when a parent abandons a child it is very painful.
This pain does not go away once you are a "grown up" Aside from years of therapy, getting through it can be next to impossible.
 
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