I have in the last two years developed an extreme social anxiety (as previous post will show) but have still decided to attempt to proceed with my education. I can no longer participate in group discussions as I once could, as my entire body shakes and my voice stutter like some idiot...
I pleaded with my shrink to give me _something_ to make me relax so that I might be able to get some friends and seem less retarded in the first few weeks.
I am currently being treated with Remeron for sleep and Subutex for addiction and/or depression.
A week ago, meeting my psychiatrist after a long-winded talk he prescribes me "Buspirone/Buspar". (I was secretly hoping for some benzos, NOT because of the recreational view - I always hated them - but because benzos give immediate and real cessation of anxiety).
I could not be more angry with my so-called "doctors". I said I needed something that would help me NOW, so I would not become the retard that is awkward and shy and make a good first impression. NOT ONLY has Buspirone done nothing, it HAS made me foggy, shaky, sweaty and disoriented, making me seem more nervous and insane.
Why do they make these useless drugs? Like SSRI's, these medication only work to make you numb and poor and waste your time. Why can't someone like me, who's entire life is DESTROYED my social fear and anxiety get something that works, like valium or xanax? Because of past drug addiction? Does that mean I am doomed to never have friends and always be afraid, unable to get the ONE drug that would work? (And please dont tell me about therapy. I've gone for ten years and been told I should just give up on therapy.)
Help me... somehow... I'm so f*cking depressed and angry and sick of my life and just want some relief, something that calms me down....