@ Lucid Dreamer;
I think I can relate to your experiences with MXE and this sudden onset of negative feelings, both physical and psychological. Without getting into a big dissertation about it it often involved me doing small-ish doses over the course of many hours. Usually trying to keep a nice, manageable MXE "thing" going over time versus trying to hole. I don't really like holing, but enjoy that "middle state" of dissociating and euphoria, which over time, also included great difficulty speaking, walking (some roboptype shit that I hate). What would happen would be that everything would be going OK, then without warning, I would get this incredible sense of doom, panic, anxiety, and a need to get up and walk around. It also including a RAPID onset of tachychardia, what felt like a MAJOR BP increase, confusion, and a desire, again, to get up and walk and walk and walk. I would usually take a benzo and a beta-blocker and it would pass within 1/2 hour. It was like a living nightmare. Once during one of these episodes, I was totally convinced that I was OD'ing and actually dying. I mean I was entirely convinced that I was NOT going to live. It was one of the scariest things I have ever encountered. What should be noteworthy is that the times of these episodes, my tolerance was pretty high...I had been doing MXE daily for a couple of months to the tune of about 100 to 150 mgs over the day, starting in mid-afternoon and stopping at about 9 at night, never really doing more than 50 or 60 mg, often smaller, but the MXE was rocket fuel. Anyway, yes, I was being stupid with my use, no doubt. But let me tell you...these episodes were the scariest drug-related experiences I have ever had, by far. By FAR. I am convinced they were related to toxicity due to heavy use.I think that MXE, if abused, can be far more dangerous than some think, and I have been reading more and more stories like these over time. And, it's abuse potential is kind of through the roof, in my experience. I just could not put it down once I got some. I started buying it in 5g lots, which was a mistake. In my opinion, if you like it and you have it, you are going to do it. I remembered having an abundance of blow many years ago, and having lots on hand all the time. Well, suffice it to say...it didn't stay put away long...and MXE, in its own way, has similar, fiendish qualities. In closing, I think MXE's dark side is worthy of talking about, and I think it's a rather insidious drug...to say the least.
