Hey guys. I'm 20 years old. I achieved my first altered state at 13. Went to many rehabs since 17, and 6 months ago my father died. His last words were "it has to stop" Now. I've traveled from north to south since then. I've lived in South florida, and Asheville, NC (The hippie & psychadellics filled town.) Furthermore, I'm back In new jersey. about 12 miles from Atlantic City. (Horrible). I've been a bonafide stoner since 13. I love weed. Probation is an issue for two possetions of heroin. From 14 and a half to age 16 I was wrecklessly smoking weed, drinking, snorting amphetamines (mainly adderall) and I took my first few hits of powder and crack) Then, I went to a rehab for a year, because I was facing time in juvenille prison for knocking my (rip) Father's front teeth out when on drugs.) After the rehab, I went straight to heroin, crack, and weed. Picked up the needle, and now 3 years and more rehabs later, I'm back on. Currently I'm speaking to you under the influence of two bags of east coast powder, my perscribed seroquil, vistaril, neurontin, and a tiny hit of crack. I'm sick of this shit. I want to make my mother proud. I've never had a job on the books, and Yeah....It's sad, with my father suffering and all and me stealing nearly all of his pain medications, from endocets, to fetanyl patches and tapping his delaudid pump when he was sleeping. Now, I don't really get dope sick, maybe I've become immune from being used to feeling it so much. I was in Asheville, NC recently to stay in a halfway house. I'm thinking of substituting to Kratom powder and damiana leaf. I'll be honest. I'm not ready to stop achieving altered states, I'm only 20. Even with my father's last words. I have an EXTREMELY addicting personality for a 20 year old. I've already caught hepatits c, and suffered severe social and domestic consequences to the point where I have no friends and nobody wants to be around me. Help guys. Suggest some substances I can grab on a website. Please.