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confused about a guy, I'd like some advice.

K

kayladelmo

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 23, 2012
Messages
66
so I've been talking to this guy for a few weeks. when we first started talking he would text me every day, always wanting to hang out, basically trying to talk to me all the time. the last time we hung out was last weekend. I texted him to hang out the other day but he said he was really busy. I hadn't heard from him since. I'm really confused because he went from texting me every day to not at all.

we work together and I saw him at work today and it wasn't awkward or anything, but in the back of my mind I kept thinking what his deal was, if he still liked me or not and why he hasn't even texted me hello. IDK.

the thing is, he started a new job this past week. I think he is super busy working two jobs. idk, maybe it's my insecurities dictating my thoughts but I just feel kind of forgotten. I know it's not a big deal and he has his own life but I think that the ball is in his court now since I hit him up last.

am I over thinking this? should I ask him what's up with us or try to let it go? can anyone relate?

BTW, I never did anything sexual with him.
 
kayladelmo said:
the thing is, he started a new job this past week. I think he is super busy working two jobs.
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........
Yes, he's likely busy working two jobs. Especially starting a NEW job. He's probably super busy!!
 
Busy or maybe he expected more (sexually) and has decided to move on to someone that's easy. I'm not saying that you should have had sex with him but maybe this is his train of thought...... as a man I will tell u that sometimes our expectations are not reasonable. Or rational. Lol,but as with most situations there are many factors. What is he looking for, maturity level and so on hope this. Helpsand to let u know most men who are looking for an actual relationship don't want a easy. Women.....
 
kayladelmo said:
so I've been talking to this guy for a few weeks. when we first started talking he would text me every day, always wanting to hang out, basically trying to talk to me all the time. the last time we hung out was last weekend. I texted him to hang out the other day but he said he was really busy. I hadn't heard from him since. I'm really confused because he went from texting me every day to not at all.

we work together and I saw him at work today and it wasn't awkward or anything, but in the back of my mind I kept thinking what his deal was, if he still liked me or not and why he hasn't even texted me hello. IDK.

the thing is, he started a new job this past week. I think he is super busy working two jobs. idk, maybe it's my insecurities dictating my thoughts but I just feel kind of forgotten. I know it's not a big deal and he has his own life but I think that the ball is in his court now since I hit him up last.

am I over thinking this? should I ask him what's up with us or try to let it go? can anyone relate?

BTW, I never did anything sexual with him.
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sorry to say this, but there are a whole lot of guys out there only looking for one thing. even if he isnt, a lot of guys gauge how realistically interested a girl is by sexual attraction/interaction
 
Again ... he started a new job. That is his number on priority. when I start a new job, I go all-in. It is basically my life for the first few weeks. I want to make sure I'm making a good impression, learning everything I can, and proving that I was the right person that they hired. Maybe not everyone has the same work ethic but STILL if he hasn't even part of that, then that does explain why he can't text you all the time. As well, he has a second job, that he already has, that is probably keeping him relatively busy. So instead of having all this spare time to text you, he's now working at a new job where he's trying to make a good impression likely. I think you're being needy which is not good in the beginning of a relationship
 
Animal Mother said:
even if I'm really busy, I can come home and send a text message. Especially if it's to someone I enjoy the company of.
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^ This. I agree with Pretty_Diamonds, I think he's probably lost interest. Maybe he is just focused on his new job, but I find it hard to believe that he'd be so single minded about this that he couldn't find a spare 5 seconds to text you. Especially given you haven't been sexual yet - at this stage, I think if you're intent on getting someone, you don't risk ignoring someone. It's impossible to know for sure, but that would be my feeling.
 
Lost interest. Sending a text message takes seconds and barely any effort.
 
So after a week of not speaking to each other, I text him telling him I missed him, and he said he missed me too and asked me to hang out that night after I got off work. I hit him up after work and he was taking FOREVER to respond, and I was tired so I was like forget it. I was so annoyed. He called me and apologized and started telling me that he got the impression that I wasn't into him, that he felt like he was "reaching" for me because I didn't text him back late one night because I fell asleep. But I texted him to hang out after that night so I don't get what the issue was... everything seemed fine to me.

We both decided to keep dating. We hung out last night and honestly it wasn't that great. Something doesn't feel right about him. Idk.
 
i agree that he may have lost interest or been discouraged by something. if i'm feeling a girl nothing stops me from making contact. my interest right now gets a text every morning and every night regardless of what i'm doing. although i'm not simply trying to "get some", if that was my only intention I would talk to her a lot anyway.
 
Nobody can be so busy not to send a text message. Probably realtionship went to the way of friendzone, and he didn't want that. You mentioned he sent you lot of texts, and wanted to hang out always. Idk how long is this relationship, but if it is short 1-2 week, then maybe it was too much in such a short time. If it has been going for longer time, then probably he got bored of staying in same state. These are only my toughts, remember there can be always lot of cases which you would never think. Good luck with him.
 
if he cant send 1 text, during his so called busy busy day with his jobs..he is not into you.
this is just imo from my own experience.
 
wow buncha douches. OP, if I first meet someone and some shit happens, I don't like to dump stuff on them. For all you know, his grandma died. Who wants to dump that shit on someone you just met? I get quiet and don't talk to people, even friends. For the friends who care and know how I am, they know to hound me and they get it out of me. You're new to him, so for all you know, he's the same way and some shit happened and he just doesn't feel right dumping it on you.

You don't know if something happened and he is just reacting by being anti-social. That's how I am, and I'm sure there are plenty like me.

My suggestion is to ask him if he wants to do something, since you guys always chat. If he declines or ignores, then the balls in his court and just leave it, but if something is going on, he might not feel like hanging out or being social.
 
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