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MDPV Megathread 10: Stuffandnonsensemonger

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Do you guys actually end up like this?



Pre ban meph used to get me wired but thats on a different level
 
Lol. surely a similar state though? yeah deffo shouldnt be driving

saw this vid of pre ban meph in the day, ive been in some states but this is nuts

 
Haha ColtDan mate nah don't end up looking like that, but after a 10 days binge I ended up looking hell lot of worse, banging my head in everything because couldn't control my movements anymore, luckily I could not feel anything, but hell I looked like shite
 
This is hell. Sobriety sucks big time.

I want to watch a big beetle of PV melt ever so deliciously down a long slender piece of foil while i heat it with a lighter from below. I can almost taste the sweet vapors now...!!!!!!! THIS THOUGHT IS DRIVING ME INSANE!

Seriously I can't take the constant day dreaming about it anymore. The "using" dreams are really kicking in at night too. Those dreams are so damn infuriating because I never actually get to use in them. I mean... Wtf... Can't I get some relief in my dreams at least?

I'm going to go crazy from thinking about using but never being able to use. I'm not kidding. This is insanity. Or hell.

Not to mention I sleep like 16 hrs a day now. I don't have the energy or motivation to do much of anything now that I'm not using. This lack of motivation combined with constant fatigue and depression is well beyond my ability to cope. This is all to much.

Something has got to give. I can't go on like this... but somehow I do... :/

Edited to add: Sorry to vent but it helped somehow. Realize I got nobody to blame but myself. So yea...
 
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Just out with it dude^ always help a little.

And yea the thinkin/dreaming etc is a fuckin hell, I know too well.

But you can do it, I can also, but not feeling for it as how my life is right now.

How is ya life? If good try enjoy that with "normal-eyes" man its really so much more beautiful.

Take care friend :)
 
Life is pretty turmoil at the moment actually. But got lots to be thankful for too. It is what it is.

I'm actually fairly indifferent to everything around me lately. I think I could have either the most awesome life or the worst life and still feel the same overall right now. I'm just broken inside somehow to the point where i cant focus on much beyond myself. Hard to explain but I'm sure most here can relate.

The worst of all this though is the complete lack of motivation, the fatigue and the depression. What a deadly combo. I can easily understand now how somebody could be so depressed they don't get out of bed for weeks now. I used to think that anyone who claimed to be that depressed was just a weak minded idiot. Now I understand.

I am making progress though. Things are improving. It is just hard to keep ones head up at all times.

Nick:

Been following your struggle in this thread for quite sometime. Its all too familiar. Dont know what else to say other than to say I wish you the best... And just hang in there man.
 
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When was last time u had some psychosis?
Your post nearly made me order some more! lol
 
Your right about the motivation ting tho..
It's been a cpl months since I did any and walking the dogs is just starting to be fun again..
 
Homegrownuk said:
When was last time u had some psychosis?
Your post nearly made me order some more! lol
Click to expand...

My bad... I'd hate to be the reason for that. Glad you didnt though :)

Sorry for my confusion...i am not sure whether you are asking me when was the last time I had some mdpv or when was the last time I experienced psychosis? Either way, the answer to both would be the same since I experienced short term psychosis the last time I used. I have now been mdpv/pyschosis free for 2 weeks to the day.

I should try to find my own version of "walking the dogs" (don't have a dog). Some outdoor daily activity would probably help immensely I bet. Now if I could only find my motivation... Must have left it lying about somewhere.
 
I just got a whiff of a girl's perfume that I havn't smelt since my peevee days & instantly got a craving!
Mad how that happens given the fact that I hate the stuff with a passion now.
 
Nicklazz said:
It is just you. Well maybe you don't smell all clean, but they don't think you smell rotten like you do. Trust me.
Click to expand...

Sorry Nicklazz but your wrong. That smell DOES exist and it sticks to everything and lingers and lingers. It's an arse because even after over a year being free of MDPV I still every now and then get a whiff of it and I start to crave it. I don't know if it's the MDPV smell lingering or a similar smell that gets the old spidey sense tingling but I guarantee it exists. My missus could tell if I'd been using from my smell so I know others can detect it.
 
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lol Ben I know mate haha, just mean that when you are on mdpv and you feel you smell worse than rotten garbage it is just you that feels that, hell yea you smell weird but only u feel you smell worse than you do, but I have asked lot of people and yea they answer me 100% honest :)
 
MDPV_Psychosis said:
Life is pretty turmoil at the moment actually. But got lots to be thankful for too. It is what it is.

I'm actually fairly indifferent to everything around me lately. I think I could have either the most awesome life or the worst life and still feel the same overall right now. I'm just broken inside somehow to the point where i cant focus on much beyond myself. Hard to explain but I'm sure most here can relate.

The worst of all this though is the complete lack of motivation, the fatigue and the depression. What a deadly combo. I can easily understand now how somebody could be so depressed they don't get out of bed for weeks now. I used to think that anyone who claimed to be that depressed was just a weak minded idiot. Now I understand.

I am making progress though. Things are improving. It is just hard to keep ones head up at all times.

Nick:

Been following your struggle in this thread for quite sometime. Its all too familiar. Dont know what else to say other than to say I wish you the best... And just hang in there man.
Click to expand...

I can relate my friend. Great things going better man. And thanks I will hang in, all best to you too <3

I have 800mg mdpv layin, moms b-day today, no touchin no way im going ruin her b day

EDIT:

And sorry for double post, don't have time to fix now, see ya mods im runnin
 
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