Everyday it's constant, my back/shoulders/neck kill me have scapular winging, khyposis, and lateral pelvic tilt, my ankle/heal I broke it when I was younger and it didn't heal right so it causes extremely bad pain to the point where I can't even lay my foot onto my bed, my knees the lateral pelvic tilt made one knee take onto too much pressure and the other not able to get strong enough. Anyway i have been going to physical therapy for my back/shoulders/neck for over a year now, and I have gone to PT for my ankle in the past.
As for the emotional pain, it stems back to when I was about 9-10 years old , my mom started staying out all night doing drugs and I wouldn't see her for weeks at a time, eventually she stopped bills and lost her fancy car and nice house. My sister and I were forced to move in at my dads which is miserable but I won't get into that as much. To make matters worse I started getting in to fitness but eventually started binge eating after I started to eat "too" healthy, and that got me really sad added with the pain I was feeling from my mom creating major depression and extreme anxiety and social anxiety. I then started constantly smoking weed and then got addicted to heroin and benzos which lead to 2 overdoses.
I'm 18 years old and I graduated high school recently and have 2 jobs, I do daily stretching, foam rolling, and exercises to try and help my alignments and I'm still in pain and can't do any intense exercise or sports like I enjoy very much.. Everyday I get up and try my hardest to deal with this pain I have and everyday I can feel myself breaking more. I don't want to keep living with all of this pain. I have 2 friends, and have a hard time talking to anyone else.
I can't keep living a life like this. But honestly, I have have really optimistic about everything overall I try and endure the pain at work, I got my diploma, and have been improving on communication and controlling my anxiety but its because of the massive amount if pot I vaporize.
Lately I've been thinking about using dope and fantasize about it, I hope I don't break and go to the hood to try and cop, I even saw my old dealer when I was driving past his house to a job interview, how ironic.