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my father is marrying someone younger than me... would YOU go the the wedding?

About infidelity- my mom used to say "if they will do it with you, they will do it to you."
Not a great foundation to build a marriage on.
It may last but trust issues will likely be tougher to overcome than the age difference.

Has to be one of the most awkward, difficult situations anyone can be confronted with, very best of luck navigating through everything, mia.
-izzy
 
Serotonin101 said:
I had a fiance leave me for a best friend does that count? I'm not bummed by it really. the second woman I fell in love with left me as well. maybe I'm just able to let go and forgive? NA has taught me forgiveness so I don't really hold resentments towards people. its like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. resentments only hurt those who carry them. just gotta let people be where they are, and always remember "expectations are resentments waiting to happen".

I understand you probably feel betrayal on behalf of his behavior and what not, but its one of those things that regardless of how you feel about the situation he's going to proceed with what he wants. why make things harder when you can begin attempting to accept things the way they are instead of fighting against it per se. we all do shit we're not proud of and cause wreckage in our lives, but you can't live a full life holding on to the past.

and this is coming from a Guy who has "hatred is strength" tattooed on him. so trust me, I know anger, hatred, displeasure, resenting, and all those other emotions that are deemed negative by society.
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There is a big difference between accepting and forgiving someone and giving them a high-five. I find it disgusting that he cheated on my mother. I think its creepy and stupid that he is marrying a 23 year old. But I accept that he's a grown man and that he can do what he wants. That doesn't mean I have to give him some high five and tell him he's the man. And I said I'm going to wedding, and I still have a relationship with my father and I have been nothing but polite to his bride, so I guess I just don't understand what it is that you don't think I haven't accepted or am fighting against? Maybe infidelity doesn't bother you, and that's great, but it bothers me, and it sure as hell bothers my mom, who never cheated on my father for 30 years of marriage, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that point of view. There was no reason he couldn't have waited. Doesn't mean I'm not going to go the wedding and smile and be polite, and it certainly doesn't mean I'm going to stop loving my dad or not stand by him.

Anyway, on a brighter note, my mom is going to Italy this weekend with a guy she met last weekend. So happy for her. She says she's not looking for anything but a fling, and he's perfect for that-- he's smart, wealthy, and retired (he's my dads age so fifteen years older than her) so he has lots of time to just have fun and sweep her off her feet. He was looking at her like she was a goddess the whole time we had drinks, which is exactly what she needs and deserves, and she seems happier than she has in years. As bad as their divorce ended, I do believe its the best thing for them to be apart. It literally made my month to see her so happy and spending time with someone, not just cooped up alone in the house.

It's nice for me too because since she's not here I can fly up to SF for the weekend and see my friends... I don't know a lot of people in LA which is part of the reason I wish she wouldn't stay out here. I'm really looking forward to hanging with some friends over the weekend!! :) And I'm spending Memorial Day with my dad-- we're going wine tasting alone and then we're gonna come back and have dinner with the bride. I'm actually really looking forward to spending the day with him, I think it's gonna be a lot of fun.
 
My dad called off the fucking wedding...

Stupid bitch was fucking somebody else and texting back and forth with him on her cellphone. My dad is an asshole and doesn't trust anybody-- he'll still go through my phone if he can find it, and I'm twenty-five years old and pay my own phone bill, obviously. If she wanted to fuck somebody else, she shouldn't of been using the phone he's paying for to do it. Stupid bitch just lost out on a looot of money.

He is soooo fucking mad right now, but this is what happens when you date a whore :) Oh well, he'll get over it. He doesn't really sound hurt, more embarrassed. I asked him if it made him regret divorcing my mom, and he said it did, but that he could never picture going back to her now. My mom is doing really well, still dating this guy who took her to Italy. I'm really proud of her for pulling her shit together. And it means I can go back to SF soon, finish up my last semester of university, and move somewhere new and start my life afresh.
 
mrs_mia_wallace said:
My dad called off the fucking wedding...

Stupid bitch was fucking somebody else and texting back and forth with him on her cellphone. My dad is an asshole and doesn't trust anybody-- he'll still go through my phone if he can find it, and I'm twenty-five years old and pay my own phone bill, obviously. If she wanted to fuck somebody else, she shouldn't of been using the phone he's paying for to do it. Stupid bitch just lost out on a looot of money.

He is soooo fucking mad right now, but this is what happens when you date a whore :) Oh well, he'll get over it. He doesn't really sound hurt, more embarrassed. I asked him if it made him regret divorcing my mom, and he said it did, but that he could never picture going back to her now. My mom is doing really well, still dating this guy who took her to Italy. I'm really proud of her for pulling her shit together. And it means I can go back to SF soon, finish up my last semester of university, and move somewhere new and start my life afresh.
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Wow that's terrible, but at least your dad found out earlier right? It's good to know that your mom is doing well. Good luck with finishing with the last sem. and starting a new life. :)
 
Hey guys, just an update on this in case anyone was wondering. My mom got married in November to the guy that took her on a vacay to Italy, he's a wonderful guy and treats her really well. They are much happier than my father and her ever were.

My dad has another girlfriend, the same age as his ex-fiance-- but I think he learned his lesson from the last time and won't be getting married again. She's the third woman he's dated since his ex.

I moved back to SF in August and finished my last semester of university. I moved to London in March to get away from all the ensuing drama and quite like it here. Things are going much better.
 
A 66 year old man has a better sex life than most of us here.

I'm not as jealous as I am disgusted/intrigued what he's capable of pulling... Questionable levels but still; dayum.


Glad to hear about your mum. I've been cheated on and I'm glad to hear a story where the hurt person has a brighter future.
 
The only reason my father has an amazing sex life is the size of his bank account! Honestly it's pathetic to me to see him floundering about with these women that are so clearly using him for his money. The second woman he dated, he bought her breast implants and then she left him, I think he's learned a bit since then and has become somewhat more frugal. Emotionally he's extremely closed off so I don't think he's really capable of having a real relationship, so I guess this works for him... he's very generous when it comes to giving money, just not so much when it comes to intimacy. He is a good looking man, many of my friends have had crushes on him, but the fact that he drives a nice car and has a big house and goes on expensive vacations definitely helps pull the 23 year olds in.

It's interesting, my mom was always the same way when she was married to him but she's totally changed since she got remarried. Her new husband is very open, friendly and accepting and emotionally available and it's started to shift her a bit.
 
In order to have a nice car and be a successful businessman I would argue that your dad would probably be intelligent with a desirable personality. You could argue that the only thing a 23 yr old guy for has going for them is a nice healthy body.
 
Glad to hear everything's working out for you and your mom. Hopefully dad will find a worthy woman too.
 
One Thousand Words said:
In order to have a nice car and be a successful businessman I would argue that your dad would probably be intelligent with a desirable personality. You could argue that the only thing a 23 yr old guy for has going for them is a nice healthy body.
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Intelligent, yes-- he's a genius when it comes to business, he didn't come from a wealthy family he made it on his own. Desirable personality, not so much! The way you are with a business client is very different to who you are at home with your wife and your children. I've always been amazed to see the way he is with his clients, it's like I don't even know who that person is. Of course my relationship with my father has always been very difficult as I didn't turn out to be exactly what he hoped I would be, it's not easy to deal with two children on drugs, let alone one (my half brother is also a heroin addict) and if it was up to him I would be married by now working on my third child, but our relationship has gotten much better since he's seen me get sober and finish school, and he has definitely become more supportive and a bit warmer towards me. I just think it's very lonely sometimes to be the smartest person in the room.
 
Honestly, if my wife and I were in a bad relation, I would seek counseling first and if that doesnt work, divorce and if im blackmailed by her to stay, well I'm cheating because it was blackmail.
 
The wedding is important to your dad and your soon to be step mum is trying her best to be nice to you and build a relationship. Be the bigger person, put your own issues aside and make this a happy day for everyone.

It's going to happen with or without your blessing, you may as well come across as a mature person here and go with the flow.
 
im 28 going out with a 17 year old (shes been emancipated, so shes basically 18 in the eyes of the law) .... i feel like its amazing cause i am a latebloomer to all this shit with relationships and what not....

she is an old soul , and we just gel so well...... i've been very patient sexually and straight up with her in every way
 
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