great idea for a thread! i am a large, muscular man, fair haired, light eyed, nordic looking though I am Jewish. My temper stems from my Russian roots as eastern european people have a hard time controlling emotions, we are easily prone to argue and fight and the same prone to love and lust, it is why we drink heavily and have a tendency to addiction.
my whole life I lived getting picked on for being Jewish or later on being white in non white areas, and so at a young age I learned to solve the problem with violence. when i got older and started bodybuilding it helped some what but i still have serious anger issues despite lifting hard 4 times a week, praying, and leaning to "just leave" when i am angry. i recently nearly beat several people to a pulp. some arabs in my city (i live in jerusalem, israel) started cat calling my wife... while i was WITH HER. i had to use all the energy in my body to stop myself from rushing them and killing them. it happened 3 times in one day, and if i had carried my gun with me, i'd have shot someone. thankfully i breathed and walked, but my self esteem took a huge blow.
later in the week another arab got in my face in the gym, and i started screaming at him and got in a fighting stance, ready to fight him. what makes me more deadly is that I am massive, know karate and judo, and have extensive experience in fighting in the streets. i am covered in scars. thankfully he did not escalate and i did not have to resort to violence.
i have broken countless walls, doors and faces of people, and i have brutalized a lot of people - though never a woman. every time after i feel sick, ashamed and depressed and so i try my hardest and hope to Hashem that i do not exact violence. believe it or not fighting and hurting others is a huge sin in my religion, far worse than drug addiction which is considered a sin of emotion, and allowed by many as an illness. Despite our portrayal in the media as evil oppressors, Jews hate and abhor violence - we oppose it. but the world is not always amenable to our needs and desires, and if you delt with arabs the way we do on the streets, you understand that culturally we are different and it effects things. thankfully i have not hurt anyone since 2012, when i beat up 5 guys who catcalled my mother in front of me and pulled my hair. i can walk away if someone is just talking, but if someone touches me, i go insane.
regardless self control is vital. i hate hurting people, and a man who is 6'2" and 240 pounds of muscle can do much harm. but prayer and deep breathes have saved me time and time again.